


May I Flirt With You?

by mishLisha



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Flirting, Barebacking, Begging, Begging Dean Winchester, Best Friends, Body Worship, Boners, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean, Canon, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Cute, Castiel in the Bunker, Castiel is a Sweetheart, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Coda, Crowley is back, Crowley is living, Dean Being an Asshole, Dean Loves Castiel, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean is Bad at Feelings, Dean is a Little Shit, Dean is a Sweetheart, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Comic, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Forehead Kisses, Funny, Funny flirting, Happy Castiel, Happy Dean Winchester, Happy Ending, Headcanon, Human Castiel, Hurt, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Dean Winchester, Librarian Castiel, Loss of Virginity, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Manhandling, Morning Cuddles, Morning Sex, NSFW, Oral Sex, Pining, Post-Season/Series 13, Protective Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Sam is the Wingman, Season 13 coda, Season/Series 13, Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, Supernatural season 13, Supportive Sam Winchester, Teasing, Top Castiel, Top Dean, Top Dean Winchester, Virgin Castiel, binding spells, lots of kisses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-04-06 13:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 59,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14058054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mishLisha/pseuds/mishLisha
Summary: Cas has risen up from the empty, and rescued from Asmodeus. Dean finally accept himself that he is in love with Castiel, and Castiel also has been in Love with Dean.but Dean refused to confess it to Cas because of his arrogant, and fake Straightness and fear. so he screwed up everything and trying to fix his life again and trying to win his Love back.Dean trying his ass off to win Cas back but Cas was hurt so much and his heart was broken. and then there is a another trouble for Dean. Oliver Queen (Not a cross over, i have a kink of Dean get jealous on Cas and Oliver)will Dean get his Cas, his Love back or will lost Cas forever?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a writer i just Love to share my imagination stories with you. I Love Destiel so much and that's why i'm wrote this. I started this long time ago. so here it is. English is my second Language so really sorry for all the mistakes. hope you could still read it. oh and it's little cheesy okay. :D . sorry again for the mistakes. have a nice day you all. <3 :*

May I Flirt With You?

“I’m an Angel of the Lord” Dean can still remember that deep voice, brave handsome face, beautiful bright Blue eyes, full & pink lips, that man-killer look of those eyes and that sexy dark messier bed-hair which pointed to every side. But that was before he fell. Now he is a fallen Angel who died, went to the empty and risen again. But Castiel is still and always look like perfect, although every dirty thing he had been through. Those are never able to destroy his inner beauty.  
Dean kind of secretly loved that trench coat, which was Castiel’s only cloth. After being a human he has to change his clothes. not only clothes, but also everything in his life.

“Is that your sweet pant & t-shirt? “ Sam smirked and asked pointing to the Cas, who came to take a coffee and join the brothers.  
Cas took his mug of coffee as he made his way to the table and sat down beside Dean. he was wore a Dean’s old gray sweet pant and a baggy black t shirt. “Good morning Dean, Good morning Sam,” Cas said tiredly. he was exhausted.  
“Morning Cas” Sam replied... but Dean didn’t reply to Cas as he turned his angry face to Sam. “yeah it was mine, you know after his rise from the empty as a human, he can’t live only with that freaking Trench coat. So I gave him few clothes until we doing something to fix this thing. Is that wrong Sammy” Dean said without even bothering to stop for inhaling.  
“Whoa dude, calm down, I’m just... just... ya know, I just asked Dean, i was joking, why the hell are you so pissed like that” Sam said with a confused look.  
Dean glared at him and shoved his chair back and stands, then turned to the kitchen door.  
“Dean, I’m... I’m just“ Dean herd Cas ’s trying to say something but Dean cut him off and turned back and face them. “Both of you get ready. Meet me after 10 minutes, we are going to shopping” he never stops to listen to any answer of them.  
After his best friend’s big change Dean always gave him special attention, teaching everything, offering and always take care of his Angel … what the hell? are you insane? Well, hello he is Dean’s best friend, BUDDY. Okay? Not HIS Angel.  
One time Dean accidentally hurting Castiel’s feelings by telling “Without your powers you're basically just a baby in a trench coat”. On that day he never means that just said it. But now actually Cas is like a baby. Of cause, he is an Angel of the Lord, a warrior of the God, a badass soldier who went to the Hell twice for his only best friends, Winchester Brothers. But man, he has faced loads of things, went through loads of troubles, which can’t handle if even a powerful Angel.  
And now he is just stuck with a human vessel, a human body. Actually now, it is his own body because the God recreate this body for him. So now he stuck with a human body with full of weakness, and without any power. and unfortunately always his "people skills" are "rusty" .that was the worst thing.  
So Dean helped him without any doubt or hesitation. But every time he close to Cas, he felt his heart start to racing fast, he unconsciously licked his lips and he can’t even control his eyes which always starling at Cas’s lips & eyes. It’s always happened to him since the first meeting with an Angel. But now he can’t even control it anymore. and its start to visible to others. He is definitely straight, he is not a Gay. He can’t be like that. Every time when he feels that strange feeling about Cas, he start to hook up with any girl, he could find immediately.  
*****  
“Hey... You two, get anything you want, choose any clothes for you, I’m going to get some stuff” Dean said to Sam and Cas. Dean badly wants to stay and choose clothes with Cas. He knew it will be super fun. But also he knew he will definitely start that freaking feeling thing. So he thought he must be dodging it.  
“Dean, if you don’t mind can you please join us, actually, it will be good….. I... I... guess... “  
Cas said before gave a little shy smile and waiting for the answer with big blue puppy eyes.  
Dean looked at Cas then licked his lips “um.. Nah Cas. Sam will help you for that. I will meet you at the cashier point. Dean said without making eye contact and rush to the other side of the mole.  
Sam noticed the way Cas’s face changed from excitement to disappointment.  
“Heyya, Cas, come let’s find something good for you, I think we should find something with comfortable material nah?” Sam said and drag Cas by his shoulder. Cas nodded.  
  
“Um… Sam, don’t you think that Dean is trying to ignoring me,” Cas asked with a deep sad voice.  
“Ah, well no man, I … um .. I don’t think like that... he just ah you know, he is a jerk, he always thinks shopping is a girly thing… you know what.. just forget that okay.. let’s do this..come” Sam said and drag him to the cloth section.  
Suddenly a someone bumped into Cas’s shoulder. the man turned to face Cas as he passed Cas. “oh I’m so sorry” he said and smiled at Cas widely.  
”oh… its okay,” he said and went after Sam.  
While they selecting pants Sam got a call from another hunter, he excused Cas and rush to the people less side to get the call. Cas was in deep thinking about Dean. he felt something touches his wrist where he holding a t-shirt with a hanger. He jumped and turned around to see who is that and he faced the man who bumped into his shoulder earlier. Cas shook off his grip and looked at him with a confusing look “what are you doing”. the stranger looked at him with a huge grin.  
“Hi babe did it hurt when you fell from heaven”  
Cas’s eyes went wide, he felt kind of fear. He doesn’t even bring his angel blade. He only got a bunch of clothes. his human body was still too weak for fighting with any Angel or Demon again. He knew he hasn’t left any strength to fight with this Creature but defiantly get killed by him. Cas doesn’t want to die again. he can’t even think about lost Dean again.  
  
Cas decided to do the only thing he left to do. he pushed that man hard and try to escape from there. He ran to the way Dean went earlier. Fortunately, he saw Dean choosing some pie holders and Cas immediately rush to him and drag him from his arm. “Dean... Dean. I think we should get out here, something going on here. maybe its a trap. Cas said with wild eyes and tugging Dean’s hand.  
“Whoa, whoa slow down buddy what’s happened where is Sammy,” Dean asked before put his hand on Cas’s arm.  
Cas gulped “ there is a man, I think he is an Angel or maybe Demon, I can’t see his real face as I’m not an Angel anymore but I think, it must be a trap, if they attack us in here we can’t kill them or attack back because we are in public and also I have no powers to teleport us to somewhere. So…“ Cas said without breathing. Sam also arrived there and he also heard Cas.  
“Sam where the hell have you been, told ya to stay with Cas,” Dean asked Sam and without waiting for his answer he turned to Cas “and Cas, why do you think he must be Angels or Demons”  
“Because he knows that I’m an Angel,” Cas said, “he said to me, Hi babe, did it hurt when you fell from heaven, and I pushed him and run to find you guys”  
Sam threw his head back and started to laugh. Cas tilted his head and gave him a confused look. Fuck he was damn cute and adorable when he doing that and Dean licked his lips and stared at Cas few seconds.

“Man he is not an Angel or Demon. Looks like he was flirting with you,” Sam said before wiping his tears.  
Dean didn’t laugh. he felt kind of anger but he doesn’t know why is that. Instead of laughing he made an angry groan and turn to go back his way. but suddenly that stranger came and grab Cas’s wrist again and laughed “oh my god you are so beautiful when you getting blush. C’mon I just want to talk with you gorgeous”  
Cas couldn’t understand why this man acting like this. Before Cas shove his hand again, Dean’s strong hand grabbed Cas’s hand and Dean’s other hand grabbed stranger’s hand and broke the grip of the man’s hand. shoved it off. Cas’s hand released. “Son of a bitch, what do you think you doing hah? Who do you think you are to flirting with him and touch him” Dean gritted his teeth and punch that man in his face” he went back and fell to the ground.  
“Dean… no... Stop. Let’s get out here” Cas said before grabbing his hand. Dean tried to hit him again.  
“Man, calm down, just let that man go,” Sam said while trying to push Dean back...  
The man stands hurriedly held his hands up in defense and said “oh sorry man, I thought he is single...So sorry, and went hurriedly to other side of the mall”  
Dean turned to Cas, he saw Cas’s face filled with confusion, before he realized what he was doing, he took Cas’s hand. “Cas look, its ok. Just relax. He was just an asshole, not a Demon or Angel... ok? Dean said with a soothing tone. Cas nodded with a happy face because Dean got angry when someone flirts with me, and also hit him, then he kind of soothing me right now, he is not ignoring me.  
so Cas felt a happy, actually it made him pleased and warm.

Dean looked at Sam and saw his shit eating grin. “aww Dean, too protective” Sam chuckled. Suddenly Dean felt his arrogant is rising, he knew Sam is going to act his fan girl character and he is about to start nonsense and he will start making fun of him.  
  
Dean’s face filled with anger again and he turned to red. Suddenly they jumped at the sound “Hello boys”.  
“Crowly what the hell you doing here” Sam yelled and put a step forward to Crowly.  
“Oh hello to you moose, Crowly said and smirked. and he looked down at the Dean’s hand which wrap around Cas’s hand. Suddenly Dean released Cas’s hand. Cas’s face filled with little hurt emotion.  
“Bloody hell, actually now I get those rumors are not only bull shits, which spared through the whole my Hell, ” Crowley said before giving a mean smile to Dean.  
“oh yeah, what it is Crowly, we don’t have time for your bullshits. Split it out and get lost here” Dean said before rolling his eyes.  
“Oh, Rumors! yes, I’d heard rumors, but I didn’t believed they were true until now, they says that The Grate Dean Winchester keep banging his pretty little fallen Angel,” Crowly said before looked at again Dean’s & Cas’s hand.  
Dean started to gritted his teeth and he turned to red, “you son of a bitch” Dean was about to jumped to him but Crowley raised his hand, “what, is this the way you treat me when I come to give you a hint for your next work. if it so, well Crowly is gone ” next second he is disappeared.  
“Dean...that... arg... Um... My Apologies, I don’t know what to say” Cas said with shaky voice .his face turn to bright pink.  
“Shut up Cas.” Dean said and glared at Sam, “not a word”.  
Cas was all happy before a moment, but now Dean is again pissed with him. Cas noted that Dean was acting weirdly since a few months now, one moment he was so kind to him, so loving to him but next minute he was acting like a super stranger and angrily, also trying to ignore him. Cas couldn’t understand what’s going on with Dean’s mind, but he definitely knew what was happening to himself.

Finally, they paid for the clothes and walked out from the mall. They didn’t say a word on the entire ride until Sam suggested that they should get dinner at a restaurant on their way. but instead of restaurant Dean parked his baby into a club.  
Sam glared at Dean. “Dean I mean a restaurant, not a club”  
“yeah, yeah you can also eat here, don’t you know that ” Dean glared back at Sam.  
Cas didn’t say anything and followed two brothers to the club. actually, Cas didn’t felt well physically since the day he lost his grace, but he felt happy after he joined to brothers at the bunker. But now again he felt not well physically and also mentally, but he doesn’t know why is that.  
Three of them settled down on a table. Cas thought it’s a good thing that Dean decided to come here because of the low lights of the club. they can’t see each other’s face clearly in that low dim and different colored lights.  
but Cas shivered when he saw Dean is staring at him directly under that low lights, and suddenly Dean stands up and when to the bar table before said “um gonna get a beer”  
Sam looked at Cas “Cas I wanna talk to my stupid brother, you just stay here okay? and order something for us .. is that ok? ” Sam asked kindly.  
“yeah Sam its ok, go and talk to him,” Cas said with a nod. Sam always had a little pity about Cas, since he lost his grace and since they lost him. after his rise, Sam makes sure to never hurt his best friend again in under any circumstances. but now his brother always be a bitch to Cas. so he needed to fix things. because Sam knew about his brother and his best friend very well. also what both of them going through.  
“Hey man, are you ok?” Sam asked before ordering a beer for him.  
Dean took a sip from his beer “yeah, I’m cool, I’m great”  
“really, are you sure, man I don’t know what’s going on your mind but you just behavior like weird, I mean, man I’m your brother, you can tell me anything ok? if you wanna talk about anything please just, just talk to me okay? “Sam said with a hope.

“Sammy there is nothing to talk with you ok? I’m doing well and here we having a beer and get some dinner then back to the bunker. So, nice talk Sammy” Dean said before rolled his eyes and took the last sip of his beer.  
Meanwhile, Cas ordered burgers for three of them and tried to concentrate his mind on what’s happening around Dean and him. He knew that he had falling for Dean. He Loved Dean so much. When the first time he touches Dean in the purgatory, he knew something happened to his soul. He felt their souls get attached to each other. He felt they are kind of getting attracted to each other. after their first meeting they knew it. confirmed it to him self. and slowly he had falling love with Dean.  
He definitely felt it when he was empty and when he was kidnapped by Asmodeus. Castiel the Angel of the God, was undoubtedly in love with Dean. And Dean also cared for him, but he called him as his best friend, few times as a brother and calling him buddy. Cas knew that Dean was a straight guy, but he can’t help falling in Love with Dean so badly.

“Hi, may I sit here” Cas jumped as the sound came nearly his ears. but before he said that those seats are already taken, the Handsome man sat down which Dean was sat before he went to the bar table. with a wide smile on his face, he started to talk.  
  
“Hi, I’m Daryl,” the handsome man said. Seemed like he was drunk. and he staring at Cas like a hungry wolf. Cas cleared his throat.  
  
“Actually those are my friends’ seats, they will come back soon,” Cas said and he was about to show him the direct where Dean and Sam was.  
  
“Do you have a map? Suddenly Daryl asked like he doesn’t herd the thing which Cas was said.  
  
“Ah? A Map?” Cas asked with his famous head tilted.  
  
“coz I'm getting lost in your eyes,” Daryl said it again.  
  
“um.. actually I don’t have a map and how aah I mean how… what do you mean by that “ Cas trying to figure it out what Daryl said but again he started to talk.  
  
“What is your name beautiful? “  
  
Cas thought this seems not good but there is also nothing seems bad yet. “I’m Castiel,” he said with confusion voice.  
  
Daryl: well Castiel Do you wanna get outta here.  
  
Cas: um… no I… why I get out of here, I came here to get dinner with my friends. I don’t know what you meaning with that  
  
Daryl: okay, then I will ask some more. then let’s see you get it or not? Do you have a have a Band-Aid?”  
  
Cas: “oh did you got hurt, or”  
  
Daryl: “Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.”  
  
Cas: “aah I’m... um actually I don't understand that reference”  
  
Daryl: “Do you have a pencil?”  
  
Cas: “no Daryl, I don’t have even a pen”  
  
Daryl: “Cause I want to erase your past and write our future.”  
  
Cas: “ooh actually…um, what?”  
  
Daryl: “You look cold”  
  
Cas: “actually yes, I aa… “  
  
Daryl: “Want to use me as a blanket?” and this time he leaned to Cas a little bit.  
  
Cas: “what, ohh… um no I don’t think so. Now I haven’t any power to transform you into a blanket. if you mean that... I guess ”  
  
Daryl: “Can I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?”  
  
Suddenly Cas got the point. “oh he is flirting with me”. Cas looked at Dean and Sam. they can’t see Daryl as they are sat on the bar bench turn their back on Cas.  
  
Suddenly Cas got an idea. last time when that stranger flirts with Cas, Dean got jealous, he could try again and maybe Dean will talk with Cas again normally. He really missed their little talks.  
  
Cas gave a little smile to Daryl and excuse him. “um… Daryl give me a minute” and he rushed to Dean and Sam.

  
Sam was still trying to get Dean to the right track.

“Dean I mean, ah.. umm you know, actually Cas a… he is our best friend, and he.. Um... He just left Heaven for us, you know ..he always looked after us. protected us, especially you, and I really like him as a best friend, as a brother. you know. and we all know you always been happy when Cas was around you. and it's totally fine. okay? its really good thing, okay. there is nothing been to worry or shame okay?”

Sam said and looked at Dean’s face and he got shocked. Dean’s face was full of anger. Dean looks like he is about to hit on Sam’s face.

  
“what do you gonna say, Sammy, huh? What is your point, who you think I am? are you insane?”

Dean shouted at Sam and finished his fifth beer. he was going to start a huge fight with Sam. Dean was pissed as hell. that moment Cas crashed there with a huge smile.

  
“Guys you know what? I think I got another flirt man. he continuously flirting with me, he asked me “Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes. I didn’t get it first, and then he said “Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write our future.”

Cas chuckled. Dean started to gritted his teeth.

  
Cas start again. “after that, he asked me “You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket? and I was..“

  
Cas couldn’t end it as unexpectedly Dean barked at him.

  
**“what the hell Cas, what are you? a baby? Why are you always running to me and telling me all the shits happened to you? and asking help? Can’t you even…… shit, I’ m not your boyfriend Cas... There is nothing between us okay? stop pretending like that. and hell, you always bring troubles to me, what are you, huh? what you think you are?“.**

Cas’ mouth hangs open and eyes went wide. he can’t believe that what is happening.

  
“Dean, I, I don’t, I please” Cas try to tell something.

 **“Shut the fuck up Cas”** Dean cut him off and start shouted at him again.

  
**“first, you just fall from the heaven and lost your grace like a fool, it's all your fault. Then again you got killed, then risen, then got kidnapped, after all those shits, I helped you and let you stay in the bunker, because… because you don’t have anyone, and you don’t have anywhere to go. you have no one left. now you see what I rewarded for that, that assholes, that bastard Crowley, and their rumors. are you happy now?''** Dean kept barking at Cas.

  
“Dean, stop it. Cas he didn’t mean that he just drunk ok? and you Dean, Just quit being a dick for once“. Sam was trying to fix the situation.

  
**“No Sammy, I mean it okay. I mean every and each word I had said. just look at him, he is a freaking Angel, but he can’t even choose a single cloth for himself, he can’t fight with a single demon, evenly he can’t understand a freaking flirting line or pick up line, and he thinks that it's my responsibility to protect him from all those bastards. Because guys following him like he was a fucking whore”** Cas couldn’t believe what he heard. he felt a huge pain in his heart.

  
**“Now every one laughing at me because of him, I've been a joke because of him. he destroyed my whole reputation. you know what Cas, just fuck off. Just fuck off my life OK? I don’t want to be a joke because of you”**

Cas staring at him with wide eyes, he felt something dropping down from his eyes, tears? No, no he is an Angel, a powerful angel he never cried. yeah, yeah he cried a few times before. but this time he felt a huge pain and felt he can’t breathe. now he is a human and humans felt feelings, so yes its tears.

Cas got step backward.

“Cas please just, just don’t get this serious ok? Please, Cas” Sam stand up and tried to stop Cas.

  
“No Sam.” Cas turned back slowly.

  
“Cas wait“ Sam trying to stop him and grab his shoulder.

  
“Please just let me go, he, he is right Sam. and I just want to be alone okay? Please” Cas started to walk toward their table. he kept wiping tears.  
“no Cas let me explain” Sam tried again.

  
“Cas raised his hand. Please, Sam, it’s okay, just be with him” Cas said and walk again to his seat. he sat near to the Daryl, who start smiling wildly.

  
“Oh babe are you crying, let me fix it for you, here take this” Daryl gave him a drink. Cas didn’t bother to check what it was, he drank the whole thing like in one second.

  
So It's Dean, his Precious Dean. He always chose Dean, instead of Heaven, he fights with his brothers for him, he killed his own brothers and sisters for him. He went to the Hell for him. fuck He died for him, every time he chose him, and oh my Chuck he Loved this human more than anything. But this is how Dean thinking about him, treating him. Cas felt like he is burning. his vision goes little blur, and he felt everything moved slowly.  
Finally, he heard Daryl saying something.

“Are you a mirror? Cause I can see myself inside you.”he asked and lick his lips.

Cas felt like his head is rotating, and realize that Daryl is now flirting with him a dirty way, but he doesn’t care about it. “yes I’m a mirror” Cas said with weak voice. He felt his heart is going to blow. His eyes burning, and tears falling continuously. he felt everything around him was rotating and everything was gone blur. he felt every thing start to spin.  
“Babe, come with me,” Daryl said and put his hand around Cas’s waist and gripped tightly before taking him to the door.  
Sam didn’t notice that Cas had left the club as he was busy with a heavy argument with his brother. Finally, Sam stood up for talking to Cas and he turned. Cas was not there. Sam got shocked.

  
“Oh God no... Cas is gone, Dean Cas is gone”. Sam yelled as Dean turned his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has risen up from empty, and rescued from Asmodeus. Dean finally accept himself that he is in love with Castiel, and Castiel also in Love with Dean.  
> but Dean refused to confess it to Cas because of his arrogant, and fake Straightness and fear. so he screwed up everything and trying to fix his life again and trying to win his Love back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a writer i just Love to share my imagination stories with you. I Love Destiel so much and that's why i'm wrote this. I started this long time ago. so here it is. really sorry for all the mistakes. hope you could still read it. oh and it's little cheesy okay. :D . sorry again for the mistakes. have a nice day you all. <3 :*

“What do you mean he is gone?, he had nowhere to go” Dean looked back over his shoulder as he saw Cas was actually not there and suddenly stand up.

“What? …. Where is he gone” Dean wasn’t drunk anymore.

Sam glared at him. “Now you are asking from me. Huh? After your shitty speech” Sam was pissed.

“God, Sammy please just tell me that his GPS is working?” Dean said with a shaky voice, he felt guilty. It’s his fault, all the things he said, all are wrong. All are the opposite things what he wanted to say.

“Yes, yes it's working, take the car Dean”

Dean started to drive his Impala like crazy, Sam tracked Cas’ phone and they followed and rush to where the signal is going.

“I’m sure Cas is on a private vehicle because the signal is didn’t stop and its moving fast” Sam said.  
Dean’s heart started racing fast, his head burning with guilt, fear, and pain. It’s his entire fault.

“Dean Look, that signal is stopped moving. According to the map, it’s actually a barn. Sam got his widen eyes from the map of his phone and looked at Dean, whose eyes also widen same as his.

“What? Why... why is he stopped in a barn… shit. Sam, how far is that place from here?”

“Ah it’s 20 minutes from here” Sam replied.

 

“Shit…. son of a bitch.” Dean cursed. He started to drive at full speed. Even didn’t care about the cop or his baby.

They reached there after 10 minutes. The first thing they saw was a car, stopped in front of the barn door. Dean jumped out of the car and ran to the barn door. Suddenly he saw Cas’ sweater on the floor near the door, same time Sam also rushed there. Dean grabbed the sweater before Sam opened the door. “No, no, no, no … no, no please” Dean repeated it and actually he was terrifying.

There are blood patches all over the sweater. Dean felt his heart pounding out of the chest as he felt strange fear leaking into his heart.

Sam dragged Dean into the barn and Dean got a minute to concentrate his mind to find Cas as rushed inside. The whole Barn was in silent and dark. They can’t see anything. Dean was inpatient, he yelled “Cass... Cas... are you there”. but no sound or no clue was there. Sam turned On his torch. Suddenly they saw some dark bundle behind an old tractor. Dean ran to there as Sam followed him. Yes, it was Cas.

Dean felt his heart was stopped for a second. He felt he can’t breathe.

There was Cas on the floor, unconsciously. His t-shirt was torn to pieces, near his belly button, there is a cut and it was bleeding. Blood was leaked into the tore t-shirt. There is also a man near to Cas, seems like he was passed out.

Suddenly Dean falling to his knees and cupped Cas’ face with his hands and leaning down to him “Cas... Cas please open your eyes. Cas oh my god .this is all my fault. Please, Cas….talk to me... for the god sake talk to me Cas. Dean felt he is crying as tears are falling. Dean had lost Castiel too many times. Every time he was going through the hell but now he can’t even think again about lost him.

“Dean! Dean are you insane. He is just unconscious, but also he is bleeding. We have to take him to the bunker right now before its getting worse. Hurry up, c’mon” Sam shouted at Dean and tugged him.

Dean suddenly stands up and got Cas into his arms and carried him to the Impala. Cas was passed out too, breathing slowly and so weakly. Dean rushed to the car and put him in the back seat slowly. Sam climbed up to back seat and hold up tightly Cas’ bleeding wound.

Dean started to drive full speed, more than they came early. Soon as they came to the bunker Dean got out of the car to get Cas out of the back seat. he opened the back door as a flash and got Cas into his arms, with Sam’s help. Carried him to his room, Instead of Cas’ room. He put him on the bed very carefully, not wanting to hurt his wounds.

Sam cleaned the wound and put stitching to the cut on Cas’ stomach. After they bring Cas to the bunker they found out there is another cut on his arm, Sam also cleaned that and put medicine and bandaged it. They guessed that cut must be the caused for Cas’ sweater filled with blood patches. Whole time Dean was cursed himself and mumbling and chanted as “Cas is gonna be okay...” Sam didn’t say a word and he pretended even he didn’t hear those.

After Sam finished the stitching, he watched as Dean brought a washcloth and start cleaning Cas’ face, hands, chest as he goes. After watching Dean’s cleaning, Sam stands and put his hand on his brother’s shoulder. He knew Dean’s situation as Dean was barely holding because this time whole fault is on him.

“Dean, he is gonna be okay. Just give him some time ok? We can talk to him after he woke up. Now just let him get some sleep. I’m going to downstairs, please let me know if he woke up. Okay?” Sam knew very well how his brother feels right now, he saw how his brother lived after Cas was dead last time, Dean was like a half dead man. Sam saw how Dean’s inner person died with Cas that time. Then he saw how Dean started to live again as a completed man after Cas’s risen. So it’s not hard to understand how it’s now feeling to Dean. So Sam was worried about both Dean and Cas.

“Yeah Sammy, I will do that” Dean replied with very tired and low voice. He was still shocked. When he shouted at Cas, he’d never thought anything like this will happen. He was been panicked at all the Crowley’s bullshits and Sam’s confess talks. That’s the reason his shitty speech.

Sam walked out and closed the door behind him. Dean released a heavy sigh and startled at Cas’s tired sleep face few minutes. He ran his fingers through Cas’ soft dark hair. His other hand cups one of Cas’ cheek. He holds his hand there few minutes. Then he moved his thumb all over those full, pink lips. Dean felt like he wants to kiss those lips right now. The feeling was so strong. He leaned down to his best friend’s face, who is laid on his bed unconsciously.

No, no, no... What am I doing … what the fuck I’m doing? Cas got injured, because of me, I just insult him, yelled at him, gush… what I have told to him, fuck. I also called him a whore. Fuck, fuck… What I have done... Why I got that much angry... because of my feelings? Because I can’t handle my own freaking feeling about Cas?. Because I wanted to kiss my best friend every time when I see him?

Because of that son of a bitch Crowley’s bull shits?, or because I’m a straight man as hell, and because I’m not a gay?... Or because of I... I got jealous of those guys who were flirt with Cas. Yeah… maybe, but those are not Cas’ fault, even one of them is not Cas’ faults... but I’m shouting at Cas… shit… yes, I got fucking jealous when that guy flirts with Cas in the mole.

And after in that club again another asshole flirted with him... Oh, wait... the man...There was a man near to Cas. They didn’t care about him as they put their whole attention to Cas. Cas’ t-shirt was torn to pieces, shit. He must be the fucking asshole who done this to Cas. Fuck. wait… Was he touched Cas? Was he done something to Cas?. No, no, no, Noo… shit, shit.

That feeling terrified Dean as hell out of him. and he wants to kill that asshole right now. Dean suddenly leaned down and start to check Cas’ face, neck, then his shoulders for any mark or wound, no there are nothing. Then he checked Cas’s body which only opens through his clothes. Nothing was there.

Dean felt little relief. But that asshole should be dead. He had hurt my Angel. MY ANGEL? again? It’s happening again, Dean can’t handle it anymore. The feeling getting strong more than before.

Yes, I’m falling for Cas. He said it to himself just like he did all the times when he felt like that. Dean felt his heart filled with some kind of warmness. Yes, I’m falling Love with Cas. Yes, yes I have to admit. That’s the truth. After Cas got killed by Lucifer, Dean gets to know how much he had Loved to Castiel. He even wanted to die, he wanted to end his life, and he even tried. He didn’t know how to live without his untold Love, his Angel, and his Castiel.

All this time, nearly ten years he needed Castiel in his life, first as a friend, then as a best friend, after he found he falling for Cas, but how could he admit to it, every time when he attached to someone his destiny, not the freaking Destiny but all those damn Angels and Demos, were wiped them from his life and dragging his life to a living hell.

Even he was not together with Cas, those damn supernatural things have killed Cas lots of times, so what will be happened if they knew Dean Winchester is in Love with Castiel, surely Castiel will be a more sharp target of all their enemies. So Dean didn’t want to pull Cas’s life to danger.

Other hand his arrogant and his straightness. He was too afraid to come out as a Bi. But all the shits happened to him till today, he felt limits are up. He had hold lots of limits, theories, but not more. He felt his feelings getting stronger and stronger. So he should get a decision right now. he had to end his chickened out.

Suddenly he felt Happy, kind of free, kind of relief. and yes, Cas is his Angel. and he will be always. Dean wanted to wake Cas and confess all to him. he wanted to kiss his Angel. He wanted to see those Beautiful big Blue eyes and tell him how much he loves him. but Cas need some rest, he got injured again before he healed his pre-injuries after his rising. So Dean can’t bother Cas’ as he sleeps right now. so he can wait few more hours.

Also now he has a work to finish. He looked at Cas’ face and smiled “get some rest Angel, coz I have to confess to you a big story tomorrow, see you soon Cas” Dean couldn’t help but leaned to Cas’ face and pressed a kiss on Cas’ temple and smile at Cas’s beautiful sleeping face. He closed the door behind him slowly and, rushed to the down stare.

“Hey Is Cas woke up?” Sam asked before stand. “No Sammy he is still sleeping, I have to go out, will come soon, please check on him,” Dean said and grab the key and rush to the door.

“But Dean at least tell me where are you going... Oh... wait...shit... you going after that man. right? Wait, Dean...“

Dean didn’t answer and close the door behind him.

 

*******

 

After few hours Dean came back to the bunker, but Cas was not wakened up yet. Dean came to the room and looked at Cas’ peaceful, but the tired sleepy face.

Sam was Dean’s room since Dean Left the bunker and he watched over Cas, who is still sleeping.  
“Hey Dean, what the hell man, you have been gone for a long time, you should be informed me about the situation”

Dean sat on his bed and took Cas’ hand. before he realizing what he was doing he kissed Cas ’s wrist, after second his face got red and filled with beautiful smile as Sam’s face lightened by a smile. But he didn’t tell anything...

“Ahem, um Dean, what’s happened, did you found that man? “

Dean sighed. “yes Sammy, I went back to that barn, that man was there, same way. So I kicked him to check him I thought he was dead, but suddenly He woke up with a scream, then he started mumbling as “don’t kill me, please leave me” and mumbling about black smoke, and demons. So I figure out he was possessed, coz I found sulfur on his shirt. He told me about all the information, then I took him to the police station, they recognize him, and they found that he was on the missing people list. So that’s what happened Sammy. hmm, I just went there to kill that bustard, instead of that, I helped that human. It was a demon Sammy. A Demon tried to hurt Cas and kill him. But I… ”

Suddenly he stopped as Cas started to open his eyes slowly, “Sammy he is woken up...”

They both start smiling at Cas, “hey, Cas how do you feel,” Sam asked with a soft voice.  
Cas slowly look at Sam and gave him a tired smile, then he looked and elder Winchester and his smile were gone. And then he looked at his hand, his face filled with anger and he pulled his hand from Dean’s hand. Before even Dean says something, Cas start to sit on the bed. But he felt a huge pain in his belly.  
“Whoa, Cas easy” Dean try to stop him.  
Sam grabbed Cas’ shoulder. “Man you can’t stand yet, please lay down, you got a cut on your belly.”  
Cas lay down again with pain and looked at Sam with very tired eyes. “Sam... I’m... I’m sorry... actually I can’t even sit on the bed, it hurts so much. But I promise you I will... I will go as soon as possible when I got some strength to stand on my feet.”  
He said with low voice. it’s hit to Dean like someone has slapped on his face. he gulped and balled his hands into fists because of the huge hateness he felt about himself.  
“What? What are you talking about Cas, where are you going? You never go anywhere. Okay?” Dean’s voice was low but strong.  
Cas didn’t answer that, even he didn’t look at Dean for a moment.  
Sam looked at both of them. “Ahem, Cas... Um...You don’t want to leave here ok. This is also your home. First of all, you should get some rest and get healed. Okay? We don’t want you to leave this bunker. Never“.  
Cas looked at Sam “no Sam this is not my home, I had lost my home long time ago, and I don’t want to be here anymore and bother anyone, so I will leave as soon as possible.”  
Dean felt heavy in his heart. “Ok that’s it, Angel, look at me, I want to talk with you. Cas, please I’m so sorry. Please forgive me... I’m a huge bastard. Okay. I don’t know what I have told to you. Please, I’m...”  
“Sam, I think I wanna get some sleep again, its hurt so much” Cas cut off Dean and pretend like he didn’t hear Dean.  
Sam looked at both of them again. “Ahem, Dean I think he is right. We should go now he must get some rest”  
“No Sammy you go if you want, but I have to talk with him, I want to apologize him, please Cas ... please... just give me a chance to explain this. I never mean anything I told you earlier, Cas please listen to me”  
But Cas shut his eyes and pretending like he is not listening to Dean. Dean sighed. “Ok then, I will be talked to you later Cas. Get some sleep” Dean’s voice is sad, low. His face was full of sadness.  
Sam followed Dean and closed the door slowly behind them. Sam didn’t tell anything about it. “Dean I’m also going to sleep. you also try to get some sleep okay?”  
“Yeah Sammy,” Dean said and going to the kitchen and grab some beer. He opened it then got a sip. Am I lost him? Will Cas forgave me. Will he accept me? Dean thought himself. Yeah, of course, he will, Cas will accept me soon. Dean kept thinking about tomorrow and fell sleep on the kitchen table.  
********

Dean startled awake from sleep. He ran his hands over his numb face. he watched around slowly as he understands that he had passed out at the kitchen table. He got to stood up and set the coffee pot, then he thought about what he should do first, he needed some plan. After few minutes he got an idea. He went to his room. Cas was sleep tight.

Dean gathered his towel, clothes and went to the bathroom. He got a quick shower, quickly dressed, then went to his room, he looked at sleepy Angel. Cas is so cute when he was sleep. Dean chuckled at his own thought. He wanted to run his fingers through that messy dark hair, he wants to touch those soft lips, and he wanted to tastes those plum lips. No, not yet. First, he has to confess all to Cas and win him back. Dean barely got his eyes from Cas and went back to the kitchen. He gonna make a breakfast to Cas.  
He made delicious Pancakes, then made some eggs, and then he started to fry some bacon. Meanwhile, he made some toasts.  
Dean was humming and smiling whole the time when he cooked. He arranged foods on a tray. Filled coffee to Cas’ mug then put those on the tray. Next, he poured some orange juice and milk into two glasses. He cut some strawberries and put few on a plate. And arrange all with honey and few butter cubes.

He thought he must thank Sam for his early grocery trip. And he will offer all grocery trip for next few weeks by himself.  
After giving a final glance to his art full of breakfast tray, He rushed to his room and puts the tray on the bed, he slowly put his hand on Cas’s shoulder “Cas… Cas. Its almost 8 o clock, do you wanna wake up and have a breakfast on the bed” he asked with a huge grin on his face.

Cas has closed his eyes, he did not show any sign that he was wake up, but slowly shoved Deans hand on his shoulder, not even bother to open his eyes.  
“Cas look, I know you are so pissed at me, but at least eat this, I made all these for you, only for you. Cas look at this... At least open your eyes, please. God… Cas I want to see those blue eyes for a moment” Dean blushed after he said that.  
Suddenly Cas take his phone from the table and typed something. Then shove phone to bed and closed his eyes again.  
“I know. I've been an asshole last night... But I want to explain everything to you Cas. Please don’t angry with me Angel...”

Cas started to gritting his teeth. suddenly the door swings open and Sam rush to the room. “Dean, what’s going on?” Sam asked and looked at both of them.  
Dean glared at Sam “nothing going on here Sammy, what the hell, why are you crash into the room and asking ….” Dean stopped talking and looked at Cas “wait, Cas, did you, did you just messaged to Sammy”  
Cas didn’t say anything.  
“Yes, Dean, Cas messaged me, he wants to be alone, we can talk to him later. Come let’s go” Sam tried to grab Dean’s arm but he shoved Sam’s hand.  
“What the hell Sammy, why he can’t just tell it directly to me, why he texted to you and bring you here for it. Cas, why can’t you talk to me hah?”  
“Dean …..” Sam glared at Dean.  
“Yeah, yeah Sammy, just ask him that what happened last night? Because I wanna know everything happened at last night after I will leave him alone” Dean said with a determined voice and cross his arms over his chest.  
Sam sat on the bed and looked at Cas “hey man um... if you feel fine just tell me what happened there... that guy umm… did he. Did he try to, um”

Cas finally sighed. “No... Sam, nothing happened to me anything like that you gonna ask”. After hearing that Dean felt little relief.  
“He was possessed by a demon. and he had drugged me in that club, as soon as we went out of the club he shoved me to his car, I’m been kinda unconscious but I saw and I heard things, he brought me to that barn and drag me to there. I remember I felt a huge pain in my arm when I struggling at the barn door. He hit me and shouted at me that I have killed his girlfriend when I was an Angel, then he tore my t-shirt and said I’m gonna pay for that.”

Dean’s eyes filled with anger, he clenches his jaw.

“So I hadn’t my angel blade or anything, and I was drugged and so weak. I’m started to exorcism, but before I complete it, he pulled out a knife and stab me, we fought, but however I managed to complete exorcism, after that I think I’m passed out, that’s what happened there, Sam”

Both Dean & Sam sighed. Dean cursed himself for not been there for Cas, and leave him alone to happened all those shits to him.

“Ok.. if you feel good with this I have also the end part of the story. I went back there and find that guy, then took him to the police station, they recognize him as a missing person and inform to his family” Dean said to Cas, but Cas didn’t even look at him.

“And Sam, he needs to have some foods, give this to him. He didn’t take this from me.” Dean rolled his eyes and give food tray to Sam.

“Hey Cas, Dean is right. Definitely, you should have some foods, c’mon I will help you to sit up” Sam put the tray on the bed and stand to help Cas.

“um Sam .. I don’t wanna eat, if you can give me some water please,” Cas said with low voice.

Dean pushed himself up from the chair. “ok that’s it Cas, you don’t wanna eat this because I made that? I know I’m screwed up okay, but just give me a chance to make it to you. And you gonna do this like forever Cas hah? If you not gonna talk to me how can I fix this? “ Dean couldn’t take it any further as he couldn’t believe that Cas, CAS is rejecting him.

“Dean... just stop shouting at Cas, I wanna talk to you right now, please come to war room”  
Sam said loudly and walk out of the room.

Sam was in the war room waiting for Dean. Dean came and ran his fingers through his own hair, he was pissed.

“What the hell Dean, what’s wrong with you”

“What’s wrong with me Sammy? Didn’t you see what was just happening there? Cas rejecting me like shit. And he didn’t talk to me. He pretends like I wasn’t there and he couldn’t hear me. Now you ask me, what’s wrong with me? ” Dean shouted without breathing.

“Seriously Dean? Hah? You know what, you start this shit, and you screwed up everything. Now you just pretend like a baby. just, just let me explain this to you. Just imagine what will be happened to you if I shouted like that to you in that club in front of those people, okay.

imagine if I shouted to you like, “You are not my father Dean, why you always running to me when you got trouble, actually you always bring me troubles, we don’t have anything between us, you are nothing to me, you have nothing, and yeah how if I’m called you a Whore . Hah?”

“What the fuck Sammy?”

“whoa just listen to me Dean, actually I can’t talk to you like that, you are not my father , but practically you raised me, until now this moment and you always take care of me, and protect me, you scarified every thing for me, even your life, many times, so I can’t talk to you like that, and I can’t tell you that, you bring me to troubles, coz we brought troubles together, we faced them together, and man, I couldn’t call you a whore, without any reason”

Dean’s eyes narrowed. His eyes full of sadness.

“Dean... so, just like that, it’s the point, there is the same situation between you and Cas, I mean he wasn’t raised you, but man, he raised you from the hell, he protected us, he left the Heaven for us, he fought, killed uncountable numbers of his own brothers and sisters for us, actually he chose us instead of God, actually he went to the Hell twice for us. Yeah, sometimes he had been a dick, but even those situations his main purpose was protecting us, keep us out of the danger, he gone through lots of torturing things because of us. Man, he died for us, for YOU. and we know he.. He... Just LOVED us... last time we actually lost him. but thanks to Jack we got him back but as a human.

Dean he needed you, he needed your care for him, he needed your attention coz, coz he is so weak and alone and man he is so broken, why the hell didn’t you notice that. Now he wants our help, instead of helping him what did you do, you insult him as a fuck. Man, you know even you called him a whore, without any damn reason, he never deserves that, Dean... he didn’t deserve anything you said to him. There is no reason or any fault with him, and why did you do this? For that bastard Crowley? for your reputation? Dude, Cas was an Angel, he had a huge reputation more than you, but he destroyed it by himself for us, for you. Hah, then last night he got stabbed and nearly got assault by that fucking demon. You know... all because of you. But then here you are… shouting to Cas because he ignoring you. He just ignoring you, if it were me I will punch you until you passed out, so just leave him along. Ok. Please.”

Sam glared at him and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water for Cas.  
Dean felt huge guilty. He knew he screwed up, but he didn’t think this much.  
He went to his room with pieces of his broken heart. He hated himself so much. Dean needed to fix everything for Cas, he needed Cas’s forgiveness and he needed to protect Cas from the whole world. But how? he hadn’t any clue for that as his mind filled with pain, anger, and sadness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He opened his eyes and leaned down to Cas. Sam’s eyes went wide again. Cas stayed there like a frozen statue. After second, Dean pressed a warm kiss on Cas’s forehead. Then he looked at those beautiful blue eyes, he moved his mouth to Cas’s ear and hummed “I really need you Cas. please forgive me Babe”, Cas’s mouth hangs open. Did he… did he just say, Babe? And… and did he kiss me? Is it Babe or I heard it wrong? Cas thought himself without not closing his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a writer i just Love to share my imagination stories with you. I Love Destiel so much and that's why i'm wrote this. I started this long time ago. so here it is. really sorry for all the mistakes. hope you could still read it. oh and it's little cheesy okay. :D . sorry again for the mistakes. have a nice day you all. <3 :*

At the evening Cas felt Less painful than the morning, more than he thought it would be, but it was still up there! on his belly.

He needed to leave the bunker. But he always loved to be in the bunker because that was Dean’s home. Actually, Cas loved to be with Dean any ware, and his main purpose was protecting him. But now he is just a human with lots of wounds, he couldn’t protect them anymore, and after he knew how Dean actually felt about him Cas doesn’t want to be here anymore. So he wants to leave the bunker. but before he goes he had to fix something. He sighed and grabbed his phone then dialed Crowley’s number.

********

 

Dean was deep in his thoughts. Actually, everything happened because of my freaking fear, arrogant and also my fake straightness. Because I was a coward, I knew I was a Bi. and now I’m pretty sure I ’m definitely a Bi coz gush I just falling for Cas. I ‘m falling in love with Cas for a long time now. I can’t be a Coward anymore. But would he be willing to accept me?  
Yes, he will... he smiled himself with determination. He gonna win Cas again, definitely. Because Dean Loves Cas more than anything.

Suddenly he heard a familiar voice.

“Hello, Boys” Dean’s forehead creased as he jumped out of the bed and ran to the war room with his gun. “What the hell you doing here Crowley” he yelled as he aimed his gun at him.

“Relaxed squirrel, I’m here for two reasons, and what? Is this the way you treat me after all the shits we have gone through together.” Crowley yelled before glared at Sam who rushed to war room with demon knife.

Dean rolled his eyes and put his gun down as Crowley started to talk again.

“the first one, I heard about that stupid demon and his very bad behavior at your Angel, I’m okay with what Castiel has done to that demon and I wanted to, kind of apologizing to him, normally my demons are acting like actually Demon, Demons but they do their war with a respect. hmm these days demons destroying my Reputation as a fair King with this unnecessary behavior ”

Dean rolled his eyes “yeah, yeah you fair king blah, blah what is the second reason,?”

Crowley gave him a dirty look. “Second one is your loving Angel called me,” Crowley said with a dirty smirk.

“I’m not anyone’s Angel Crowley” all of them turned and looked back with a shock as they herd Cas.

“Cas what are you doing here, you should lay on the bed” Sam and Dean both jump to grab Cas. but Cas shoved Dean’s hand as usual.

Dean glanced down to the floor and went a step backward. “Why you called him Cas” his voice was low.

Cas ignore his question and looked at Crowley.

“Crowley you mentioned that your reputation as a fair King, is in danger, then protect it your self first. don’t make fake rumors against your enemies, stop existing rumors against your enemies, I’m not anyone’s Angel, not anyone’s loving Angel, not anyone’s pretty fallen Angel, no one is not banging to me,”

Dean’s eyes went wide. Suddenly he realized what Cas is doing. he trying to fix things for Dean. Poor thing. Dean’s heart filled with pain.

Crowley rolled his eyes “oh c’mon Castiel, don’t involve me in your family problems”

“I don’t have a family Crowley, Cas yelled holding back tears. I don’t have any kind of relationship on this earth, and even I’m not an Angel anymore, I’m just an orphan, weak human, so please leave Winchesters along, stop those rumors and prove your self how you worth for that reputation. save your enemies reputation and save yours, keep doing your war with war rules” Cas was fighting back tears and also his pain. He felt his pain in the heart is hurting more than his physical pain.

Crowley gave a question face to Dean “ok Castiel... it will be done” he frowned.

Dean wanted to hold Cas into his arms, hold him tight and confess all his feelings to him. he wants to … wait yes he can do that... why he thinking that he can’t do that. He can definitely do that... before he thinks what he was doing, he rushed to Cas and pulled him until his chest pressed against Cas’s chest. Then hugged him tightly.

Cas’s eyes went wide. After one or two seconds Cas realized what’s happening, he put his hand on Dean and pressed hard. Then shoved Dean’s both hands which were wrapped around him tightly. This is the last thing Cas wanted to happen, Dean hugging him! But honestly, Cas would have died for this before. He always wished to, nuzzling under Dean’s neck, cuddling to Dean’s warm chest, and holding by his beloved Dean’s strong arms tightly, protectively. but after that night Cas couldn’t think the same way again, as now he knows his own position in Dean’s heart. So all Cas want is to run away from Dean, far, far away and to bury his feeling and his first and last Love deep inside his broken heart. So he has to pretend. He has to train his poor heart to reject the all feelings and force to be a numb person by himself.

“What the hell you doing” Cas’s eyes filled with anger.

“Cas please, don’t say like that, you are not an orphan, and... you have a family, we... we, Sam and me, are your family, you are a brother to Sam, right Sammy? and..and..to me, you are ..um.. ah.. you.. um… I … Cas I … ah.. you and I do share a more profound bond Cas.. remember? you know that more than me. right?”

Cas’s eyes filled with tears this time. “No! Dean, we don’t have... not anymore.” Cas replied with a sad throaty voice as he closed his eyes for a moment.

“No... No Cas please don’t say like that. We still have it Cas... still we got that”

 

Cas gave him a humorless smile this time. “No we don’t... it started with me when I gripped you tight in the perdition when our souls recognize each other with proper respect, and you ended it, yesterday when your soul tear it from my soul. it’s happened as you confess to my face, about your REAL feelings about me, so there is nothing left Dean”

Dean’s eyes flooded with tears. “Cas please, I’m sor”

Cas stopped him “please... don’t, don’t apologize... it's my fault ... I should have understood it before. Sam, Dean my apologies for every trouble you faced because of me.”

He didn’t wait for any reply and any comment as he walked slowly to his room.

“Oh boy,” said and Crowley disappeared.

Sam glared at Dean and rushed to his room and slammed his door.

Dean wanted to scream, he wanted to punch someone. He felt anger and pain both at the same time. He rushed to the kitchen and grabbed a half end whiskey bottle and went back to the war room. He opened the bottle and drank it like his life depends on it. He wanted to forget everything. He needed to destroy all the different feeling which falling to his heart right now. So he drank until he forgets everything and he passed out on the war table after few hours.

 

*******

Dean woke up with a huge gasp. He wiped his eyes, then mouth. Slowly he Memorized what happened last night. He sighed. His tongue was numbed. Dean stood up and walked to the fridge and checked what have there left to drink. He grabbed a beer. pop the cap then took a sip. He groaned to the coldness he felt in his throat as a cold beer run down his mouth.

Dean badly needed to talk to Cas, but every time when he trying, Sam was disturbed him. “ok I will walk to my room, locked the door, grab Cas’ phone, Boom! After that, I can talk with Cas finally. no one will come between us today.” Dean said it to himself and put the bottle on the table with sound and rushed to his room.

He opened the door to the empty room. he blinked. “Cas… where are you” Dean hurriedly walk towards the bathroom and knocked once. “Cas, are you there?” But there is no answer. “Cas? Okay, I’m gonna come in Cas” he opened the bathroom door and ran his eyes all over the bathroom. No, Cas wasn’t there.

Dean stood there silent for a second, suddenly he understands what happened. He chuckled.  
Cas should go to his room, this is Dean’s room after all. of course, Cas should be in his room. Dean felt relief. He walked to Cas’ s room through the passage.

He wasted few second to decide, must he knocked the door or not. Then he knocked once “Cas it’s me, I know you not gonna answer to me, so I’m just coming, ok?”

He opened the door. but again the room was empty. And no sigh that bed was used. Actually, it’s untouched. Dean ran to the bathroom door, opened it. “Fuck…… no, no Cas… where are you…not again”

He ran to the war room… “Cas where are you... Sammy….Sammy ” then Dean ran to Sam’s room and thump it. “Sammy… wake up man, hurry up, Cas is gone again... shit…. ” Dean cursed and pulled his own hair while gritting his teeth.

Sam opened the door and came out with sleepy, but wide eyes. “What you mean he is gone?” He asked with a confused look.

“Man he is not in my room, and not in his room, I checked everywhere. He is gone” Dean’ voice was high and it’s filled with fear.

“You think it’s Angels? Shit or Crowley? No, no shit…maybe Asmodeus?” Sam asked while he rushed to Cas’s room. Dean followed him while cursing himself. “I don’t know man … shit….wait I’m gonna call him”

Dean grabbed his phone in his pocket and dial Cas’s number. Sam ran his fingers through his long sleepy hair while looked over whole the room.

As Dean called to Cas’s number, they herd a phone started to ring.  
They both looked each other's face, and Dean lifted Cas’s pillow on the bed. No, no, no Shit Cas’s phone was there.

Fuck…. aah son of a bitch… great, now we cant even track him” Dean yelled again.

“Wait, Dean… you remember what he said earlier, he said he will leave as soon as, when he got some strength to stand on his feet” Sam said with wide eyes.

Then he walked to Cas’s closet and checked it. “Shit…. Dean... he is gone... his trench coat was gone too”

Dean cursed and shoved all the things were on the table to the floor. “What the hell Cas ... Where are you...?” Dean screamed.

Suddenly Sam saw something dropped when Dean shoved the table.

“Dean, wait, is that, is that a note?” Sam picked up it and unfolded that piece of paper. Then start to read it loudly.

_**“Dear Sam,** _

_**First of all, my apologies for this. Sam, actually I didn’t notice that I’m practically crashed into both of your personal life. and all the things what Dean had said to me was correct. my apologies for all of those. But, I’m not a whore Sam. I’ve never been.** _

_**I’m never going to bring troubles to you again, I promise you. I can’t protect you anymore as I’m a weak human. So I leave you and I promise you, I will never meet you again, and then Dean’s reputation will be protected again. Please don’t try to find me, let me go. I will be fine. I hope, both of you will be fine too after I leave your life. And Sam I want you to know that the happiest time of my life was the time I spent with you in the bunker as an Angel or as a human. Thank you for all the things both of you done for me. Goodbye, Sam.** _

_**Your friend,** _  
_**Castiel. ”** _

Sam finished the letter as Dean screamed and hit the wall with his all strength. The wall cracked and he felt a huge pain in his knuckles, but the pain he felt in his heart was so powerful than this.  
“Dean, what the hell just… just. Look at your knuckles now... we should have to find Cas immediately, but now we have to take care of your hand too”

Sam shouted and rolled his eyes. “No Sammy that’s not gonna happened, let’s go and find that idiot and bring him home back. Dean said before squished his eyes “c’mon hurry up” then he ran to the baby.

They called every person who knew about Cas, Jody and Donna promised them to inform the traffic stations for track him and keep searching. They called few hunters and also to Claire. Jack didn’t answer as usual.

“Shit…why Cas took that this much. I mean that’s a thing, we should talk and we had to settle down, now he is missing while a bunch of douche bags looking for him. Angels, Demons and now that asshole Asmodeus ah yeah also we can’t forget Lucifer, actually his life is in huge danger Sammy” Dean said before giving sad look to Sam.

They looked, searched everywhere. But they haven’t got even a damn sign from Cas.

“Fuck, he was so weak, he can’t even go this far... how we gonna find him now” Dean was so impatient.

“We can’t use any spell because of his tattoos, I guess,” Sam said after tried there location spells.

Dean got more impatient as time goes on, at that night Dean was like a really angry bear. He groaned to himself, and then he went back and forth. After they checked on to a motel room.

“Ok that’s it, Sammy, I’m gonna call Crowley “

Sam looked at him with surprised eyes, but Dean doesn’t wait for his answer and grab his phone and dial for Crowley.

“Squirrel, what? Did you thought that I have nothing to do besides join you in your family drama.” Crowley shouted as usually.

“Crowley, its emergency, I need your help, please”

After few seconds “well, well, well look who finally decided to ask help” Crowley showed up and smirked at Dean.

Dean rolled his eyes “look, Crowley I know it never comes without consequences but now, I need your help, I need to find Cas. He is missing. Spells don’t work anymore, no GPS”

“Bloody hell, I knew that. What? Is it like a divorce thing? Poor Angel, did you hurt him or something like that”

“Shut up you douche bag, it’s not the time for your cheap jokes, just spit it out, you in?”

“Easy squirrel, first of all, let’s negotiate. I will find your precious treasure and you gonna give me that precious The colt. Deal? Crowley said with a grin.

“As we don’t have any choice, yeah with my pleasure. I will give it to you. We got the deal”  
Dean said without hesitation.

“Ok. Impressive. as we know each other very well I don’t think we don’t have to kiss or any document to sigh... so boys..”  
Suddenly Crowley was gone.

Dean sighed then looked at Sam.

“Ah Dean, you know, I’m also with you. Okay? It’s ok. Cas is worth more than the Colt. And you know what. We will definitely find him. Okay? And its actually 1.00 Am, maybe you should get some sleep. Then we can go again and find him” Sam said with low voice. He can understand his brother. Dean was in huge pain. He lost his big win, again.

“And how is your hand... you sure you don’t wanna...”

“No, it’s nothing. it’s good Sammy and you just get some sleep. I will wake you up” Dean said and got his jacket from the chair to get his flask. He took a sip and started calling again to Jody and others for getting any update. The entire night, Dean got calls, hacked traffic cams, search for Angel or demon activities to find Cas was there? He didn’t sleep for a second but he got nothing, not any clue. It's cased to drive him crazy.

Sam woke up suddenly as he heard a huge noise. He wiped his eyes and looked around the room. Dean was standing and angrily talking with someone on his phone. There are 4 beer bottles on the table and another one was on the floor, crashed to the pieces. That must be the sound he heard before. Dean ended the call and groan.

“Son of a bitch… its Crowly, he is got nothing yet. What the hell… I mean, Cas isn’t an insect, he can’t disappear like this” Dean yelled. He felt like when he was in hell. His heart was filled with fear. He wished this will not the last time he saw Cas. He silently begged to chuck, prayed to Chuck, for Cas, asking for him, asking for any clue.

“Whoa man just easy ok... we will find him, just give me 5 minutes,” Sam said while he jumped out of the bed and rush to the bathroom.

*********

 

They went everywhere that they suspect Cas will go... Dean kept calling for hunters and Jody. Sam started to find any spell, but they got nothing. Then it started pouring rain all of a sudden. Actually, it’s like a rainstorm.

Dean even didn’t want to get a motel room, he doesn’t want to waste a one second. Dean was sleepless and without food, he can’t help but he kept mumbling to himself that “Cas is okay. Cas is okay” Dean drove through the rainstorm, kept calling, kept searching. Until it’s already midnight. It’s been two days now Cas is gone missing. After hours of searching, Dean stopped the Impala.

Sam looked at his brother “man what is it. Why you stopped the car... are you ok?” he asked with a confused look.

Dean hit the steering wheel with both of his hand, then pressed his head on it.“ where we going Sammy, I mean where we left to go. We already searched everywhere” he yelled against the loud sound of the rain.

Dean covered his face with both of his hands. he sighed heavily “Sammy... actually I know what you gonna tell me that night …. I’m aah... um.. Actually, I have… um, you are correct man… Yes, I have feelings for Cas. Okay? But because of my stupidness and arrogant, I’ve lost him again”

Dean finally said it and wiped his eyes because he doesn’t want to show his tears to Sam.

Sam’s eyes went wide. He froze for while. Then he smiled softly. “I knew it, Dean, I knew it, actually everyone knew it, without you two, I’m glad you accept it at finally. But don’t worry. you not gonna lost him again. I promise you. And Dean, I’m really happy about you, you know what you both deserve this, you both deserve to be happy.”

Dean nodded as he felt kind of little relief. The rain hasn't stopped for hours now. Suddenly, it’s started to heavier than before.

At that moment Dean’s phone started to ring, he grabbed it with a second like an eagle, answered and put on loudspeaker.

“squirrel I got good news and a bad news. ok I’m not gonna ask you what you need first, I got Angel’s location, but I got it from Angelic information resource, so probably Angels also know that where is he now, well I do my part and I think...”

“Yeah, yeah you got it as the Deal. Just send me the address Crowly, hurry up” cut the call. “Son of a bitch, those freaking Angels are everywhere. shit” Dean cursed.

“Sam checked the Address” he shoved his phone to Sam and started the impala hurriedly. Sam checked the address and Dean drove the Impala with the full speed which he has ever driven in his life.  
Dean reached the place Crowley had send, like after half an hour. It’s a dark and abandoned building.  
Dean jumped out of the car despising the rainstorm. Sam followed him and both of them looked around. It was too dark and rain’s voice was too loud. Sam got the flashlight and gun, Dean got the gun and Angel blade on his other hand.

Suddenly Dean saw something moving the end of the building. He signed to Sam with his hand as Sam turn flashlight to there.  
“son of a bitch” Dean yelled against the rain sound, his sound like happy and excited. Dean started to run there. But he stopped for a moment when he came near to Cas, and his eyes got wet immediately because of the view he saw. There was Cas, with all dirty, soaked trench coat, helplessly covering his own hands around himself. He was shivering heavily, and he was pale. He barely sat there not falling to the floor. Dean leaned down quickly and grabbed him. He felt his heart ripped out when he felt the coldness on Cas’s arms and when he saw his Angel like that.

“God, Cas hey, hey... open your eyes... it's me... I got you bud... I got you Cas... hey, hey I came for you, I… I found you Cas” Dean cupped his face and talked to him. Cas barely opened his eyes and looked up. Dean smiled at him widely with tears.

“Look out Dean”

Suddenly Dean heard Sam screaming and he turned to two angry men with Angel blades. Dean released Cas and faced them, while Sam rushed to there.

“Who are you, what you want” Dean groaned at them and asked.

“Why you couldn’t recognize us, we lost everything, we are fallen, because of this looser Castiel, he failed us, now we gonna end him while he was weak.”

“Hah. who send you, the new boss of the upstairs? Dean asked while faced Angels and blocking their way to Cas.

“No, they got lots of important business more than him, like Lucifer, Asmodeus and Nephilim, this is our job, clearing the garbage, and it's gonna be more grateful, because we also got The two Winchesters” older Angel said and suddenly punched to Deans chest as he felt with his back, Sam was busy with other Angel.

but before Dean stand, suddenly older Angel jump to Cas and stab him with the angel blade, “Noooo ” Dean yelled while he shoved that angel but too late, it’s hit on Cas’s rib but blade missed Cas’s chest. Cas screamed as the huge pain he felt and Dean stabbed older Angel with his angel blade. While Sam managed to do the same to other Angel.”

Dean jumped to Cas, who bleeding heavily and lay on the floor unconsciously. Dean felt everything was gone blur, he heard the sounds of the rain and Sam’s yelling as a bee’s sound, not clear only buzzing.

He only felt Cas’s cold face on his hands. he saw Cas barely inhale and his chest went up and down very slowly. Dean felt someone grab his elbow, but he doesn’t want to get his eyes from Cas. Everything was slow, blur and pale. “Cas, please live! Don’t die! ” his mind screaming, Dean felt he was floating. Everything was the blur around him.

“Dean, Dean for the god’s sake not now, just, just keep your mind together, Dean c’mon.”

Sam never saw Dean got a Panic attack before. he grabbed Dean’s arms and shook him and yelled. But Dean was like a drugged and like an unconscious man. Finally, he slapped Dean’s face hard.

Suddenly Dean got his conscious back and he got Cas to his arms, bridal style and ran to the Impala. ”Cas. Cas, I got you, I got you, please stay with me. Cas, please. open your eyes...Please, Cas don’t leave me..” Dean really Cried and kept saying those while he carried Cas to the Impala. They carried him to the hospital as soon as possible.

*********  
Dean went forth and back in hospital passage, he was impatient, his tear sobbed eyes, dark face, and pale lips told all the pain he fought back inside, Sam didn’t say anything he was sitting near the chair with a shocked face. Sam had to get the lead and settle the situation because Cas was stabbed and Sam had to keep this out of the cops. Good for them the Doctor who got the charge of Cas was their old client. She knew about Dean and Sam’s job, as they have helped her a long time ago. So she promised to Sam she will settle all and they have nothing to fear about cops.

Hours go as Dean gone more and more crazy. Finally, a nurse walked toward them. Dean rushed to her “Nurse please tell me that he is okay, please I beg you.”

The nurse smiled at him, “yes, Mr. Winchester actually he is still sleeping after surgery. but after we changed him to the room, you can go and see him. Okay? Don’t worry he is not in danger anymore.”  
Dean sighed as he felt relief. He thanks to Nurse and looked at Sam, Sam smile and patted on Dean’s shoulder.

Sam didn’t go to the room. he wanted to give some time to Dean, with Cas. Dean thanks in his mind, to Sam and close the door behind him.

He felt huge pain when he saw the way Cas laid on that bed. He was sleeping. his face was  
Calm. but there was written all the sign of pain. Dean moved near to Cas and put his hand on Cas’s head. Then slowly ran his fingers through Cas’s soft dark hair. He leaned down and press a soft kiss on Cas’s temple. “I’m so sorry Cas,” Dean said softly with very low voice.

After an hour both of them were in the room as Sam also joined to them. Dean was sat in a chair near to the bed and kept looking at Cas’s face. Kept wrapping his hand around Cas’s cold hand and rubbing his thumb over it.

After another hour Cas moved a little and slowly opened his eyes. But when he opened his eyes completely his face turned to fear and shock, as he remembered everything happened last night.  
“Dean, Sam… are you okay? Did you have hurt? Got any injury? Cas asked while trying to move.

“Whoa Cas, just easy okay. We both should ask it from you. But yes we both are fine.” Dean said before he put his hands on Cas’ chest and shoulder to keep him to the bed.

“Cas, please don’t try to move, at least for few hours”. Sam said with a serious face.

“Hmm, yeah ok Sam. I will. And are they... um. ” Cas going to ask something but also try to shove Dean’s hands which are on his chest and shoulder.

“yes Cas, don’t worry about that. We already took care of them, so how you feel now” Sam asked, turning his bitch face to Dean, who kept putting his hand on Cas, while Cas try to shove them off.

“Ahem guys, behave” Sam glared at Dean.

Dean also made a bitch face to Sam, “what? He still patting my hands, I just tried to keep him to bed”. and then Dean took his hand off from Cas, but don’t forget to wink at Cas. Dean was very happy inside because Cas was fine. He didn’t lose him. Cas glared at him before turn his face to Sam.

“It’s hurting Sam, hurting so much,” Cas said as he trying to look at the wound on his body.

“Really Cas, huh. But you asked for it. Nah? You earned that pain by your self, because of your stupidity”

Dean couldn’t able to put together his shit anymore, so he blasted.

“Dean, just don’t ok? Just keep your mouth shut. At least in here” Sam immediately involved before they start again. But Cas got angry about Dean’s shouting, he had no right to shout at him, not this time. Not anymore.

“So what, Dean? it’s not your business. I didn’t run to you with my troubles, not this time. I have told you that don’t come after me, don’t look for me, so why did you come after me? why did you do that? and this is my pain. Yes, I earned it, because of my stupidity. it’s not your problem. So why the hell you pay your precious attention to a whore like me” Cas’s eyes full of anger and tears. He can’t figure out why he can’t forget Dean’s words, and why he is so pissed about that, or why it’s hurting this much.

Dean got frozen to Cas’s word, he blinked once, then gulped. “Cas. No. I... I… shit.” Suddenly he stood up and walked out of the room. His heart felt numb. He was so angry himself. Dean rushed towards the main door of the hospital. He started to walk towards his baby. He wanted to run out from this. He can’t handle this anymore. Cas rejecting him, The Love of his life is rejecting him. After all these years, first time Cas rejecting him like a shit, he can’t even think about it. It’s too painful to even think about that.

Yes, Dean was Straight like a hell, but he can’t keep hiding his Love for Cas, not anymore. at least, at least he has to try? He can’t lose his Angel again. Dean covered his face with both of his hand, rubbed it, then sighed. He turned back towards the Hospital. Before he reaches to the main door he saw a little flower shop, near to the hospital gate. Suddenly he got an idea, and then he smirked at his own cheesy thoughts. He didn’t waste time and rushed to the shop.

*******

Sam and Cas were talking when the door open slowly, both they are looked at the door to check who’s coming. it was Dean, but he didn’t fully enter the room, his both hands were hidden behind the door and wall.

He just put his head into the room and looked at Sam, “ok Sammy, here is the deal, it’s an Alert ok? Just close your eyes until I say to open. Or keep your mouth shut, not even a word .ok?” Dean said it and cleared his throats. Then he smirked.

Sam creased his forehead and gave what the fuck, face to Dean.

“not a word,” Dean said again and then he slowly started to take his one hand in front of them, which he kept hiding behind the door, from Sam and Cas. Sam can’t help but he started to giggle and Cas’s eyes widened when he saw the big, yellow, two Bee balloons and a red heart-shaped balloon, which Dean brought. Cas immediately looked at Dean’s eyes and he shocked when he saw those beautiful Green eyes, those begging, puppy eyes.

Dean came near to the Cas’s bed and twisted the threads of the tree balloons to the headboard of the bed. His other hand was still hiding from his back.  
Dean took his free hand to his back and then he took a beautiful little bunch of white roses, then he brought near to Cas’s hand. Cas gulped with wide eyes.

“Cas I’m so sorry all the shit things I said to you. All bullshit. I’m very, very sorry for being an asshole to you”.

Then he put those flowers on the Bed near to Cas’s face, because Cas didn’t take it to his hand.

Dean took his free hand again to his back and, next he shows another bunch of beautiful yellow Roses. He holds it in front of Cas and looked at Cas.

“Cas, I badly miss and need my best friend back. So Cas, Friends?”

he said it with a little sad smile and little sad tone. He put flowers on the bed. Finally, he took a beautiful Red Rose and hold it with both of his hands. He looked directly at Cas’s bright blue, widen eyes. Three of them didn’t say a word. Dean put the Red rose on the bed slowly without breaking his glance. After a moment Dean slowly moved near to Cas. Cas gulped once again and still looking into Dean’s eyes.

Dean closed his eyes and thought himself ‘ok! Dean Winchester! Lady’s man! But not anymore. I’m a freaking Bi. and no more ladies, I got my man and I'm not available anymore , ’

He opened his eyes and leaned down to Cas. Sam’s eyes went wide again. Cas stayed there like a frozen statue. After second, Dean pressed a warm kiss on Cas’s forehead. Then he looked at those beautiful blue eyes, he moved his mouth to Cas’s ear and hummed “I really need you Cas. please forgive me Babe”, Cas’s mouth hangs open. Did he… did he just say, Babe? And… and did he kiss me? Is it Babe or I heard it wrong? Cas thought himself without not closing his mouth.

They herd Sam giggling like an idiot. “Ok, that’s the Cheesiest thing I have ever seen in my freaking life Dean.” Dean glared at Sam.

“Ok, you know what? can you just do that thing? shut your face, Sammy..”  
Sam chuckled.

Suddenly the door opened and a nurse came into the room. She looked at the balloons and roses then Dean, who still leaning on Cas’s face. Dean’s face turned to red as he stands and moved little backward to give some room to nurse.

“Wow these flowers are so beautiful, you know Castiel you are so lucky to have your boyfriend. He was so worried about you” this time Sam, Dean and Cas all eyes go huge. Sam chuckled and hit Dean’s Hand playfully.

“Actually, I don’t have a Boyfriend and definitely he is not my Boyfriend”. Cas said it to nurse but he looked directly at Dean, whose eyes filled with sad, and it makes Cas’s heart ache.

The nurse gave a not believing look to Cas, then she looked at balloons then roses then Dean, “ah ok, sure. Anything you saying Castiel.” then she chuckled.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gave him a soft smile without breaking stare at Cas’s eyes. then Cas tried to move to his right side, suddenly Dean put his other hand on the wall and now he bracketing Cas from both sides, and Cas was pinned against the wall. Dean’s face was so closed to Cas. so Cas was practically embraced by Dean. 
> 
> Dean slowly learned to Cas’s face. Cas’s heart pounding so heard and felt he can’t breathe. Cas felt Dean’s nose touched his nose, suddenly he turned his face to his right side, Cas shivered as Dean’s hot breath touched his blushing cheek. Cas can’t understand what’s happening. If Dean hates me that much, then why he acting like this?
> 
> Dean wanted to kiss Cas so badly, but he also wanted to stare at him when he was like this. his, innocent, poor, cute, sweet, adorable, confused like a puppy, cheese ball, Cas.
> 
> Dean smiled at Cas again. Cas gathered some strength to talk again. “D… Dean...What are you doing... p... please... please let me go” this time Cas’s sound was kind of begging. Dean’s heart melted by that. Dean wanted to cuddle him like a huggy bear. wanted to soothe him. wanted to hum to his ear how much he loves him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got lots of time for gathering pictures, editing and GIF cropping, more than time i got for written this. lol.  
> one of my favorite part is included to this chapter. please go easy on me, specially on my grammar. please tell me about all my mistakes, happy to know those, and I love to have all the comments, and Kudos always welcome. HAVE A NICE DAY.

After two days Doctor said that they can take Cas home, Dean was so happy but Cas looked at Sam when Doctor leaves the room.  
“Sam, when I say that I want to leave the bunker, I mean it Sam. actually I don’t want to go there again. So please let... ” Cas couldn’t have to finish it as Dean started to talk.

“Cas it’s not gonna happened. You are going with us to the bunker. If you try to do anything stupid I’m gonna carry you to the bunker. Okay?” I'm gonna carry you anyway, good way or a bad way. I’m gonna take you home.

Cas glared at him but didn’t say anything. Cas knew he couldn’t argue with Dean right now, he had to go to the bunker with Dean and Sam. he wasn't any good health to argue or fight with Dean.

 

They didn’t have anything to pack from the hospital but only the cleaned Trench coat and his suit. Cas was wearing comfortable jeans and t-shirt which Sam bring for him. When Sam told to Cas they can go now, Cas gave a quick glance to the balloons and Roses, which Dean brought for him. The nurse had managed to put roses in a vase with some water, so they are still beautiful and fresh. But however, both Dean and Sam saw the Cas’s glance at roses. Sam quickly cleared his throat.

“Um, Dean can you get those flowers and balloons please because I think it will be wonderful if they come with us to the bunker. Sam said while smirking. Cas looked at Sam with surprise look but didn’t say anything. Dean felt little happy because Cas liked them, Dean gave a huge grin and immediately grab threads of the balloons and roses.

Dean drove very carefully as he doesn’t want to hurt Cas’s wounds. Sam Carried Cas carefully into Cas’s room, Dean just watched them and followed them as Cas still not allowed to touch him. Cas still pissed and he still thinks that he must leave brothers because he can’t control his feelings about Dean anymore. He felt those feelings start to get strong and strong after Dean kissed his forehead in the hospital. but he also can’t forget the bad things Dean had said to his face when he shouting at him.

So after the midnight of that day Cas climbed out of his bed slowly, his wounds were aching, but however he walked towards the door, then opened it slowly and lumbered because of the pain of his wound. he put only a few steps, then,

“Going somewhere?” Cas nearly jumped out of that voice. Cas turn back to see Dean, who leaned against the wall and crossing his arms over his chest.

Cas got shocked and Dean started to walk towards Cas. Cas’s throat goes dry. he gulped but didn’t say one word to Dean.

Dean slowly kept walking into Cas, directly looking at Cas’s eyes. until it’s almost Cas’s personal space. Cas took a step backward with shocked eyes. Immediately Dean took a step forward to the Cas. Cas had to take another step backward for keeping the distance between them to be at least a one step.  
But Cas felt his back hit with the wall. Suddenly Cas looked back over his shoulder. yes, he was stuck with the wall, then he turned his head back to in front and Cas gasp, as he sees Dean’s face so close to his, there are only a few inches between their faces. Cas felt some kind of numb on his face. he felt he can’t look at those green eyes that much closer. After a moment Cas tried to ignore him and slowly move to his left side.

But immediately Dean put his hand on the wall near to the Cas’s head, bracketing Cas. Cas jump and pressed himself against the wall again. “Dean… what the hell... let me go...”.Cas said with rough voice but the sound was crack and flutter.

Dean gave him a soft smile without breaking stare at Cas’s eyes. then Cas tried to move to his right side, suddenly Dean put his other hand on the wall and now he bracketing Cas from both sides, and Cas was pinned against the wall. Dean’s face was so closed to Cas. so Cas was practically embraced by Dean.

Dean slowly learned to Cas’s face. Cas’s heart pounding so heard and felt he can’t breathe. Cas felt Dean’s nose touched his nose, suddenly he turned his face to his right side, Cas shivered as Dean’s hot breath touched his blushing cheek. Cas can’t understand what’s happening. If Dean hates me that much, then why he acting like this?

Dean wanted to kiss Cas so badly, but he also wanted to stare at him when he was like this. his, innocent, poor, cute, sweet, adorable, confused like a puppy, cheese ball, Cas.

Dean smiled at Cas again. Cas gathered some strength to talk again. “D… Dean...What are you doing... p... please... please let me go” this time Cas’s sound was kind of begging. Dean’s heart melted by that. Dean wanted to cuddle him like a huggy bear. wanted to soothe him. wanted to hum to his ear how much he loves him.

He can’t wait anymore. suddenly Dean cupped Cas’s face and leaned down to his face. he pressed a soft kiss on the corner of the Cas’s lips, both of them got shocked by it, Cas gasped and looked at Dean with shocked puppy eyes.

Dean stared at those big bright beautiful Blues. and leaning down to Cas’s lips again, this time he directly aimed Cas’s shivering Lips. but suddenly Cas put his palm on Deans chest and press him back, Dean didn’t except that so he went a step backward and Cas got some room to escape from Dean’s bracketing. Cas rushed to his room and slammed the door with a loud sound.

Dean smirked and touched his own lips slowly. God Cas…I… did I just… man, what just happened. Dean thought and he felt he was right, this is the best decision he had ever made in his life. he smiled and tried to remember that moment again.

Cas just leaned over to the chair and grab it tightly, his other hand pressed against his chest where his heart pounding very hard. He kept inhale and exhaled soundly. he can’t understand that what happened a few seconds ago. why did Dean kiss me like that? Is he… no, no impossible. Dean always was a Straight person. and when he shouted at me in the bar he had already confessed that how he thinking about me. how he felt about me. he just hates me. whatever it is Cas wanted to forget it. he also had promised to himself, he will never think about Dean again. he will never forget Dean or his Love for him. but he knew even how much he loves Dean, he can’t get back that love from Dean.

and Never, He will never love me and it never will be. so I can’t think of him like that again. and I can’t go through this pain again. I still can’t forget my love, my feelings, my pain, and my hopes, about him. so how could I even think about Dean again? It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But most painful thing is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel, how you made planes to be with him, how it feels when he was around you, and how much you love him.

Cas thought and he felt tears are rolling from his eyes. he slowly wiped them while his heart getting aches. he was too tired and too sleepy. also ache from the wounds were strong. So he collapsed to the bed slowly curled up into a ball, hide under his blanket, he kept fighting with his feelings, and few minutes he fell into sleep.

******

 

Next morning Sam’s phone started to ring continuously. He shoved his hand to the table and grabbed the phone without opening his eyes. he answered it still so sleepy.

“Sam... Sam… please help me… I can’t move” it was Cas. Suddenly Sam jumped out of the bed and ran to the Cas’s room with his gun. The door was closed. “Cas is the door locked? get a side. I’m gonna come in.” Sam shouted and opened the door.

“Sam, please help me... I can’t move, I don’t know why. and I also don’t know what is he doing in my bed..”

Cas gritted his teeth and showed Dean, who was sleeping comfortably on Cas’s bed. Sam glared at sleeping Dean. Then again he gave his attention to Cas who got another trouble.

“ok Cas, tell me, what’s happened? why can’t you move?”

“I woke up a few minutes ago to see Dean was sleeping my bed, next to me...so I got up and shouted at him, he didn’t care and sleeping very tightly. So I going to get out here, but I couldn’t walk anymore. I’m kind of stuck right here where I am standing right now, then I tried to go back. Then it's ok.I can go back to the bed, but I can’t go towards the door. so then I called you. ”

“ok this is weird like fuck, okay, just relax I’m gonna check this out. but first, we have to wake up this jackass”

Sam gritted his teeth and went to Dean. yo Dean, dude what the fuck, just wake up” Sam tried to move Dean’s shoulder. “and what are you doing here, on Cas’s bed. now we got a problem here, c’mon man, wake up”

Dean slapped Sam’s hand and groaned. “let me sleep you bitch… mmmm Cas your bed is awesome... so warm... mmmm I Love this Bed.“ Cas gulped and got blushed when Sam smirked at him.

“Deann… don’t be a baby, you jerk, just get off the bed”

Sam said with loud voice then he went towards the Cas and try to touch between Cas and bed, like if there something invisible.

“Cas do you feel anything binding you or something like that” Sam asked while going around Cas.

“No Sam, there is nothing feeling like binding, but I couldn’t move, like more than few feet, me and between Bed”

Sam just looked at Cas, then Bed, he started to thinking. Dean in Cas’s bed, now Cas couldn’t move. Wait. it’s super weird, and oh no, wait, wait.  
“Bingo. Cas, it’s not the bed.” Sam chuckled and went to Dean and slapped Dean’s leg.  
“It’s Dean! Right, Dean?” Then Dean turned to face Sam and smirked. “Hah finally, dude seriously? You got too much time to solve that little thing”.  
Cas looked at both of them. “Sam, can you please tell me what’s going on? “  
his voice was pissed.  
“Cas, it’s a binding spell” Sam’s voice sound like a winner.  
“what?” Cas yelled with surprise and confused tone.  
“Ok, ok guys. this is it, you know what Sammy, last night I just caught Cas when he tries to sneak out again” Dean said it with a yawn then glared at Cas but playfully not with anger, Sam rolled his eyes to Cas and Cas suddenly turn his eyes go down.  
“So I guessed we can’t get another risk, and defiantly I can’t lose him again...” Dean said it and looked at Cas directly, whose eyes gone widen as usually.  
“So yes, I did this, it’s a binding spell. So now, practically we are binding together bab.. ahem… I mean Cas...” Dean said with stupid smirks. Sam gave him a shit-eating smile as Dean gets the blush.  
Cas’s blood rushed to his face, from all the anger he was feeling as he blasted like Lava mountain.  
“How dare you Dean, how did you even think about it. You can’t make decisions for me. You can’t force me to stay here, it’s a criminal. So, just break the spell and let me go right now” Cas yelled at Dean with no mercy.  
Dean rolled his eyes. “Like we never did a criminal before and if protecting your lov... ahem I mean best friend is a criminal, so be it. I will be a criminal with my pleasure. I’m not gonna regrets it Cas, and I will do it again if it needs to be done.”  
“I don’t want protection from you, Dean. I can take care of my self” Cas glared at Dean and shouted.  
“Yeah, pretty sure about that. ah, how about that Demon who has stabbed you, and then those Angels. You got two stabs only for last week Cas, so you think you can take care of yourself. Hah?” now it’s Dean’s turn to yelling so he yelled angrily at Cas.  
“You heard the Angels. they clearly told you that they got huge things to handle more than me. like Lucifer and Asmodeus, and about that demon, he came to me because of his personal revenge. besides both of them can’t find me because of these tattoos. And, and aa those Angels. ahem… they found me by my mistake” Cas end it with guilty voice.  
“What, what the hell, did you called them, did you tried to suicide Cas” Dean can’t help it, he couldn’t control his anger.  
“No, I didn’t! I just… I just prayed to my father, okay, I begged him to take me back to Heaven. Because, because I couldn’t be here anymore. not on this earth, I feel so lonely, so much lonely. feel like an orphan. I never felt like this kind of self-low dimension before. I couldn’t handle it anymore, so I begged him, I think that time they must have caught me somehow, that’s why they came to me”  
“Hah, supper genius work, Cas. why do you keep doing stupid things like this” Dean yelled again.  
“What? is that stupid thing Dean, did you ever felt alone? No Dean. You don’t know how it feels. you don’t know how bad it is. How much hurt that feeling. The feeling of being alone felt like the worst thing in the world”.  
Cas bit his bottom lip hard, to stop his anger and tears.  
Dean felt guilty. he walked towards Cas and tried to take his hand.  
“no! Dean, that’s it, that’s enough just don’t touch me, don’t come close to me anymore. Just break this spell, I mean it. Break it.” Cas shouted at Dean.  
“It’s never gonna happened Cas. Not now. not when you are so weak like this. and I also mean it when I say, I’m not gonna lose you again” Dean said and he wanted to hug Cas so tightly and soothe him. but not in front of Sam. he sighed and went back to the Bed.  
“Mmmmm god this bed smells so wonderfully” Dean hummed but both Sam and Cas herd him and Sam chuckled as Cas get blush again.  
but Cas was still so pissed, he rushed to the bed and pulled Dean’s pillow, “BREAK IT, RIGHT NOW” He shouted.  
Dean’s head was on the air because his pillow was gone, suddenly he grabbed Cas’s wrist and pulled him to bed. Cas yelped as he suddenly sat on the bed, where the pillow was sat earlier.  
“What are yo. ” Cas started to shout but before that, Dean pressed his head on Cas’s lap and hummed happily. “Mmmmm the best pillow I have ever had Cas,” Dean said while Cas struggled to push Deans head away. Cas face had turned to bright red.  
Sam threw his head backward and started to laugh but he didn’t forget to tease Dean. “aww Dean, so cheesy”.  
However, Cas managed to push Dean’s head off his lap and immediately stand up. he was pissed as hell. he rushed towards the door but stuck again in the same place. he was so helpless, he sighed heavily. “Ahr at least let me go to the bathroom.” this time Cas’s voice so weak.  
suddenly Dean sat on the bed. “oppps sorry I never thought about that” he chuckled then he pushed himself off the bed.  
“Cas, you go to the bathroom. I will be here, outside”. Dean went to the bathroom door. Cas glared him and gathered his towel and clothes. then he rushed to the bathroom and slammed the door. Dean smiled at the door and leaned to it. they stay like that few minutes.  
“Ohh noo”  
they herd Cas’s voice, inside of the bathroom.  
“Cas, what happened? are you okay?” Dean asked. he was like he is ready to break the door if it needed.  
“Cas, what’s going on,” Sam asked and knock the door once.  
“Sam, I can’t go near to the shower”. this time Sam chocked his own spit. “Holy Crap Dean. how many distances you wished when you cast the spell?” Sam asked loudly, as he Surprised. Cas also heard that.  
Dean winked at Sam, and chuckled playfully as a teenager boy who done naughty work,  
“actually it’s 5 feet” Sam got shocked but then started to laugh, Cas closed his eyes as he heard that, then he opened the door and came in front of Dean. “what? 5 feet? why didn’t you put, at least as 10 feet, did you think I’m a baby, are you crazy Dean” Dean didn’t say anything but stare at Cas with hanging open mouth.  
Cas looked at Dean because he is standing there like a statue in front of him. Sam cleared his throat.  
“Um…Cas you have forgotten your clothes” then Cas’s mouth went hang open as he looked down and see he was nothing ware but only a wet, short boxer brief. it barely covered his crotch as the white boxer gotten wet with water. Suddenly he rang to the bathroom and yelled.

“now how I gonna get a bath. Dean. just broke that fucking Spell and I will promise you I will not leave the bunker, I swear” Cas’s voice was helpless.  
“yeah? like its gonna happen, nop Cas it’s not gonna happened, and hey, open this door, you can get a bath while I’m in the bathroom, ok, ok. don’t get panic. it’s not like I’m gonna join with your bath. you can have it behind the shower curtains and I swear I will not look at you when you get the shower, I cross my heart and hope to die” Dean said with a huge grin.  
After an hour full of begging, threading, cursing, shouting, yelling, and negotiations, about the breaking the spell, Dean didn’t agree with that.  
Finally, Cas opened the door and Dean gave him the most innocent smile and blinked few times like a puppy. Cas groaned at him, Dean chuckled and went into the bathroom. Cas let the door open and he rushed to behind the shower curtains.  
Dean chuckled “ohh c’mon Cas?. you don’t trust me that much. are you not gonna close the door? ok, Angel as your wish” Dean chuckled.  
“Hey, Cas are you sure that you don’t need a help in your shower, I mean, because of your injuries,” Dean said again with an innocent tone. “shut up you Assbutt” Cas shouted like crazy.  
Dean laughed and Sam also laughed. Sam felt pity for Cas, but he wishes to happen something between Dean and Cas because he wanted to see these two idiots come out from the egg shells. and also he can’t take their shits anymore. so he didn’t try to against what Dean doing.  
Sam cleared his throat “ahem Cas, I’m not messing with you okay? but are you sure you okay? because I saw you walking like still in pain. and you have to take care of your bandage. I hope you know how to unbind the bandage”.  
“yes Sam, um… it's still aching, but I can handle it my self Sam.” Cas said against the water sound.  
“ah ok, but just don’t hurt yourself Cas.” then he turns to Dean who’s learned to bathroom door covering the inside view.  
“um Dean, don’t take me wrong, not complaining, I’m just okay with what you did, but I don’t think we could go hunting like this, with this spell thing. so I think you have got some plan?” Sam said softly.  
“yes I got one Sammy, we stop hunting for few days. we had spent our whole life to protect people even we never saw or we never knew before. then now, this time we have our family member who needs our help, so here we are, we stop hunting as long as Cas get better psychically and mentally, I never leave him like this Sammy, never” Dean said it firmly.  
“its totally cool Dean, I’m really happy, you thinking like that, and yes, we can’t leave him, never. he is my best friend and yours ………….. ahem” Sam stops and grinned. Dean gave him a smirk but he blushed to Red.  
“okay guys then I’m going to downstairs, Dean... BEHAVE “. Sam emphasized it and then left the room with a chuckle.  
Shower curtains barely covered Cas’s beautiful naked body. Dean just once gazed at curtains. The only thing he saw is a blur but beautiful, Cas’s round bare Ass. Dean’s eyes went high and he felt numb on his throat. Suddenly he looked away and felt little shy.

Actually, Dean had seen Cas in nude before. when Cas was psycho. he showed up in the Impala, nude and covered with bees. but it’s not like this. that time Dean barely saw Cas’s arms and legs, other parts were covered with bees. so Dean didn’t see anything else. but now it’s totally different. and also this time feelings are also different, Dean is completely in Love with Cas.  
Shit, I’m a huge asshole. He hummed to himself and looked down. Fuck, no, no. his member was kind of half hard.

“No shit, shit. you stupid thing, go down, down. shit, don’t wake up, not now”. he closed his eyes and start to remember Bobby and Crowley’s kissing photo, “eew gross”.  
then he started to imagine Sam in a dress, then he giggled like an idiot. Cas stopped the water. Dean immediately looked down, thanks to chuck his member was down.  
Cas came out from the shower, a white towel was wrapped around his waist. Dean stared at his wet dark hair, then his tanned, thin, but well build the muscled chest. he looks like delicious. finally, he looked at Cas’s face who gritting at him with a huge glare.

Dean turned around in a flash and looked down. Grate…… not again... a Boner. Shit man. He hummed to himself.  
“Dean, just get out, I have to get dressed. I don’t want to do that, in front of you” Cas said with pissed voice.  
Dean felt he got lottery win, he rushed to the door and close it and lean to the door.  
*******  
Whole the day went full of glares, groans, humming and self-whisperings. but it’s all until night. Cas waits until Dean finish his dinner and then Cas goes to clean his hands and plate. after that, he said goodnight to Sam and went to the room. all these time Dean followed him. but after he came to the room then it’s hit him, he remembered it. Shit how I’m gonna sleep like this.  
Cas turned back and faced Dean who smirked at him like completely stupid one. Cas glared at him. “Dean please break the spell, I promise you. I don’t leave the bunker” Cas’s voice like a beg.  
“Nop Cas, can’t do that,” Dean said before going to Cas’s bed and sit there.  
“I’m not gonna sleep in my bed when you also there” Cas yelled as he hasn’t anything left to do.  
“okay? no problem, then we can watch a movie or we can play a card game or anything you want to do, OR we could talk, then I can tell you a very important thing what I need to tell you since a long time. but you never try to listen. and you didn’t give me chance to talk to you” Dean told it with a serious tone.  
“No. I want to sleep, but I don’t want you to be here, so then I’m gonna sleep on the floor, it’s better than..”  
“Cas No. are you insane, you are injured twice, come. Sleep here, I can sleep on this chair. it is also comfortable” Dean stood up and went to the nearest chair.  
“Whatever, you made this mess, then so be it” Cas climb to the bed and lay down, no argues. Then turn his back to Dean and curled into the covers. He was so pissed. he remembered something, last night, Dean kissed me, I just... I never wanted to think about that, but now it’s clear, that’s must be how Dean made this Spell. so it’s clear again that Dean is not interesting to me. hmm yes, never. he sighed. he fell to sleep quickly as he was tired both physically and mentally.  
Dean sneers to Cas’s back and smiled at Cas. he tried to sit with a comfortable position. No, that chair was a shit. He can’t even sit there properly. After an hour trying for a better position, he looked at Cas, who now faced towards Dean and sleeping tight. Dean slowly sneaked to the Bed. So slowly settled under the bed cover, he faced to Cas who sleeps so peacefully. Dean’s heart swelled as he stared at Cas’s face. He barely managed himself to not put a hand around Cas and hold him tightly against his own chest. but he can't. he is not allowed to do so, but some day he will. he thought himself and kept his hands to himself.  
but he couldn’t keep himself anymore when he saw Cas’s innocent sleeping face. He can’t help but lean down and press a warm kiss on Cas’s temple.

Unexpectedly, Cas smiled in his sleep, then hummed something, Dean frozen when he recognizes the thing he hummed “please don’t go, Dean, don’t leave me”. Dean felt huge happy, maybe, maybe Cas also have feelings, same like me. Anyhow, I have to tell him about my feelings, soon. Dean smiled. “Good night Babe,” he said with very low sound. He felt a happy in his heart as that word came out in his mouth. after few minutes he fell to peaceful sleep with a smile on his face after a long time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean jump out of the bed and grabbed Cas by his waist and pulled him until there were few inches between their faces. Cas yelped but he couldn’t do anything against Dean because he was totally broken when Dean grabbed his waist, Cas was totally manhandling by his favorite, Green eyed hunter. He just stared at Dean’s piercing green eyes, he cursed to the human hormones in his mind because they are always make him so soft, needy human.

Cas woke up in the morning as he felt little tickle in his chin, he opened his eyes slowly and touch his chin, he gasped as he felt soft hair in his hand and suddenly he looked down, he jumped out with and glared at Dean who sleeping other side of the bed near to the Cas.  
“What the hell Dean, you slept on my bed again” Cas groaned and pushed himself off the bed.

“Good Morning to you too Sunshine. ohh your bed is so warm Cas and this is like heaven to me, just let me be here forever and come to bed again”  
Cas felt his heart gets ache for that words. He didn’t say a word only stare at sleepy Dean. Suddenly Dean realized that what he had said and he twitches in his sleep and woke up.  
“Oh, Cas I mean, actually. Ah, I mean“. He started to stammer but then he looks at Cas’s eyes directly. He smiled softly while getting off the bed and went around the bed faced to Cas, who forget to breathe.  
“I mean it Cas” there is a little silent there. Then Dean smiled again “come on Cas, I think you wanna use the bathroom”. Dean started to walk towards the bathroom then leaned against the door frame and cross his arms over his chest. Cas felt he was floating as he walks to the bathroom.  
*******  
“Sam, why don’t you going to hunting? I have noticed, since the day I've come from the hospital, you didn’t even search for a case”. Cas was burning with curiosity as they didn’t leave the house for days now.

“No Cas, we had already finished the cases what we started and now we having a little vacation” Sam replied while smiling with Cas.  
Cas sighed and looked at Sam. “Sam um… I have to tell you something. As I’m not an Angel anymore, I need to start a human life properly, because I’m so tired Sam. I’m so tired of all the things I have gone through. Now I really haven’t any faith in me, and I don’t have my powers anymore. So I don’t want to involve the hunting anymore. I need a job. Then I can live like a real human. I don’t want to bother you anymore, and I’m saying again that I don’t wanna join to any kind of hunting. Because I don’t feeling like I have to do it anymore and don’t want to be your third wheel”  
“Cas, how many times do have to tell you that, you are not going to be separate from us and you are not bothering us. Never. You are almost our third wheel. Also, I promise you to give you a proper human life soon” Dean said last part with low voice but everyone heard it.  
“Ah Cas, I also agree with him but I also appreciate that job part. Because it will definitely help you to build some self-confident again, so how would you gonna find a job, I mean you need to get um, you need legal stuff. I mean like ID. I think I can help you with your ID, we can officially create a real one for you, and I will do it for you.”  
“Yes Sam, it will be a big help, thank you, and I have to look for a simple job first, I think like a babysitting, or maybe an Assistant at a Gas n sip like I used to do before, or maybe a pizza delivery boy” Dean chocked his coffee when he heard Cas said that last part.  
“No, no, no defiantly not a pizza boy Cas,” Dean said it with a sound like a warning.

“I do what I need to do. I don’t need anyone’s advice” Cas glared at Dean while he said it.  
“Ok, ok guys calm down. Okay? Don’t start again, heyya Cas, come here, I’m going to fill your forms here Online. Just help me and we can add some bullshits to it” Sam grind.  
They filled the form together while Dean silently watching them, also he wanted to join them but he stayed silent because he knew otherwise Cas will pissed again.  
“Cas, what do you like to add as your surname, any name in your mind?” Sam asked not getting his eyes on the laptop as he filled other few rows.  
Cas started to think, Dean immediately clear his throat. “Ahem I don’t think it’s that much difficult to choose a name, Sammy, why don’t you put there as Winchester, I mean he lives with us and, and um, he um he... You know... I mean” Dean try to say something but it’s not come out and Cas cut him off.  
“No defiantly not that”. Cas replied with a firm voice without looking at Dean.  
This time it’s Dean’s time so he got pissed “what that supposed to be Cas? What did you mean defiantly not that?”  
Dean stood up hurriedly and yelled. Cas tilted his head and glared at Dean.

“Just fill it as Novak Sam, as my vessel’s surname, it would be good” Dean felt little pain in his heart. Cas is still rejecting him. Shit.  
Cas looked at Dean with the same glare “and Dean, I want you to break this spell, if you can’t do that, Sam, do you mind if I’m binding to you instead of Dean? Please it will be easy more than this”  
Dean got beyond angry, he glared at Cas “what?, do you want to bind to Sam, I thought both you and me are the who sharing a more profound bond Cas. and yeah, I don’t believe what you said that our profound bond is gone and it’s no more existing. its never go anywhere. and it’s not broken, admit to it Cas”.  
Dean said as he walked towards his room. Immediately Cas can’t help but automatically stand up and followed Dean. “where are you going? ahrr I’ don’t want to go to your room” Cas said when he saw Dean is going to his room.  
“But I want to. I need a nap” Dean glared at Cas and bumped on to the bed.  
Cas can’t hold his anger anymore. he was really losing his patient with Dean and he just forgot that he is a not an Angel anymore. Cas rushed to the bed and grabbed Dean’s collar, and pull him up who now eyes went wide with the surprise.

“You stupid human, you can’t do this to me, just release me outta this damn spell or…” that moment Dean put his hands on Cas’ hands which still grab Dean’s collar. “or what Cas, huh? What do you gonna do” he lifted up and close his face to Cas’s.  
Yes then it’s happened again, Cas can’t control himself. he wanted to kiss Dean, but he can’t. Cas dropped Dean’s collar. He quickly tried to stand up and leave. but before that Dean jump out of the bed and grabbed Cas by his waist and pulled him until there were few inches between their faces. Cas yelped but he couldn’t do anything against Dean because he was totally broken when Dean grabbed his waist, Cas was totally manhandling by his favorite, Green eyed hunter. He just stared at Dean’s piercing green eyes, he cursed to the human hormones in his mind because they are always make him so soft, needy human.

 

Dean also stared at Cas’s widen, angry but beautiful pair of blues. suddenly he pushed Cas to back without breaking eye contact until he hit the table. Dean put his hands on the table, both sides of Cas, bracketing him. Cas gulped. he was panic and helpless. Dean silently concentrate his whole attention to Cas’s beauty.

Dean Smiled at Cas, who’s eyes went wide and stared at him. Dean has to tell a lot of things to Cas. Actually confess to Cas all the things, about his love, all the cheesy feelings he got every time Cas was with him, to near him.  
“Cas, I, I need to tell you something very important. Please don’t run again, will you listen to me? Please, Cas” Dean said with soft voice before leaned down little to Cas’s face.

Cas didn’t say anything just stared at Dean. Dean couldn’t concentrate his mind to say what he wanted to say to Cas but stared at Cas’s lips and unconsciously licks his lips. He wanted to kiss those plump lips like forever. Dean can feel Cas was under his glance like a cute little shaking kitten and he can see Cas’s soft pink lips practically shaking. it made Dean’s lips twitch. Dean slowly learned to Cas’s pink lips and Now there are only a few inches between their lips as Dean almost feel the Heat of those lips.

“Cas, I got a problem with this part” Sam entered the room with his laptop and his eyes were on the laptop. but he got shocked when he saw the Dean and Cas like that.  
“Holly shit. guys. oh my chuck, I’m fucking sorry. Damn, I’m a huge jackass” Sam start to worry and cursed himself.  
Dean didn’t move but Cas managed to break Dean’s bracketing and rushed to Sam. he can’t even believe what Dean was going to do before a few seconds ago.  
“There is nothing Sam, what did you say? Which part it is?” Cas gave his attention to the Lap and tried to hide his red, blushing face from two brothers.  
“yeah, fucking nice timing brother, fucking timing. thank you.” Dean said before gritting his teeth. he fell to the bed and put his headset on his ears and crossed his arms over his chest, then closed his eyes.

Next few days went same like that, Dean didn’t try to manhandling Cas, but he tried to talk to him. Every time Cas managed to strict to him and didn’t give attention to him and managed to reject him as shit. Every night they fought for their rooms and beds. Every time Dean offered the Bed to Cas. But he sneaked to the bed after Cas felt to sleep. Then they fought again in the morning. Sam was exhausted with them.  
“Shut the fuck up both you two, I’m totally done with you. Dean, I’m sorry, but I have to find a way to break this spell or I will go insane soon” Sam yelled at them as he blasted one morning when both Dean and Cas start their morning fight.  
“oh really bitch? go ahead. Tell me if you wanted any help” Dean said before gave a devilish grin to Sam.  
Cas immediately joined to him. Sam and Cas spend like five hours for searching for anything could help for breaking the spell. but they couldn’t able to find even a clue. the whole time Dean was playing a game with his phone, he ate pizza, and he even got a little Nap. but also didn’t forget to mess with Sam and Cas.  
“Okay Dean, now we only left the book of the Damn. I never touched it because I thought you are not an idiot, to use those spell, but now I think I must check it too”. Sam said and rush to the library.  
This time Dean’s face got changed. He opened his mouth to say something. But then he stopped and sighed. Sam opened the secret little cabinet to get the book. But his eyes went big when he saw the cabinet was empty. He checked it everywhere in and out the cabinet. but there was no sign. he rushed to the war room again and gave a killer glare at Dean.  
Dean, what did you do to the book of the Damn? Sam asked with pissed tone.  
Cas looked at Dean, then Sam “what happened to the book Sam?”  
“The book is not there, Dean! Answer me” Sam was so pissed.  
“I gave it to the Rowena. okay?” Dean said without any hesitation.  
“What? are you crazy Dean? What the hell have you done?” Sam yelled at him. Cas didn’t involve the argument but he was shocked.  
“Did you know that how dangerous is that. And the risk you got with that? Do you have any idea what will happen if she uses those spells?”.

Sam didn’t understand that he was shaken because of the anger. “and why you did that? What is the big reason?”  
“Do you want to know Sammy, ok here it is. I knew Cas will definitely try to leave us again., so I couldn’t get the risk, and I will not. so I wanted to do something, that night I caught Cas when he tried to left the bunker, so I wanted a plan, I kept thinking for one, but I didn’t get any, then I searched for a binding spell. but the books you had searched this whole time, there are not any spell. Finally, I called Rowena and we negotiated the whole night and I agreed to give the book to her and she gives me the spell. That night we met and changed the book and spell. and I’m the only one who can break the spell.”  
“What? Did you risk the whole world to get one spell to bind me to you? Are you crazy? I can’t believe that you did that” this time Cas yelled at Dean.  
“Yes, I did it Cas, for one spell. Oh, wait didn’t I said this to you. Then listen, Yes Cas, I can risk anything, ANYTHING, if it is the whole world, its ok, I don’t care. I will risk it for YOU. I don’t care about anything else. You, Sam and Mom, are the only people I care in this world. The world never gave me anything. but You. now, you, Mom and Sam are the whole world for me now, so be it. I can risk it for you Cas.”

Dean yelled back, Cas and Sam were speechless. Cas hadn’t any idea that he must be happy or be terrified because he felt little strange feeling in his heart. But he never going to touch that feeling because he was so afraid and he couldn’t manage another broken Heart. he can’t go through that pain. he believed that Dean just hates him and all the strange things he doing these days only for making their friendship again, but he hadn’t any idea about manhandling thing and kisses.  
“And… Cas, I’m just telling this for the record, um…Dean also gave The Colt gun to the Crowley for finding your location.”  
Sam said because he wanted to fire the situation, he really wanted to happen something between this two idiots.  
Cas’ stood up and looked at Dean with wide eyes again. “He did what? Dean, are you really insane?” Cas yelled at Dean.  
“Shut up Angel, there is nothing to yell about, those have already happened now. and I’m not being regret about that. And will do it again if it has to do, without any hesitation. so just, just leave it ok.”  
“Really? So if you did it for me, then do a last, big favor to me, Dean just broke the spell. I can’t do this anymore” Cas yelled again.  
Dean was angry, but when Cas release those words, Dean was beyond the angry. he just glared at Cas, for few seconds and surprisingly he seemed like calm downed. He wiped his face with his hand.  
“Okay Cas, I will break it”. Both Cas and Sam looked each other because they never expect that, they thought Dean will explode.  
“But” Dean begins, pointing his index finger towards Cas.  
“if you try to do any kind of stupid thing or funny business, you know I will find you, and then you will regret about your stupidity because I swear, you will never get rid of me then Cas. Okay?” Dean was calm but his voice was so clear and powerful. He opened the nearest cupboard and grabbed a lighter. He directly walked towards Cas.  
Cas remembered the night which Dean made this Spell. he kissed me that day, now Dean was going to break it, is that means Dean going to kiss me again right now, in front of Sam?. Cas shivered with that thought as he went.  
Dean stopped in front of Cas. Cas gulped and looked at Dean with his big, blue, wide eyes.  
Dean put his hand to his denim pocket and grabbed a little hex bag surprising Cas and Sam.  
“Huh, I knew it,” Sam yelled with a happy tone.  
“Yeah, yeah.” Dean rolled his eyes. He brought the hex bag in front of the both his and Cas’ faces, then set fire to the hex bag. Little bag has gone to ash as Dean drop it to the floor.  
“So, it’s done, Happy now?” Dean asked Cas while leaned to his face a little, but not like manhandling.  
Cas glared him but he was happy and he ignored him and started to walk to Sam. suddenly Dean grabbed Cas’ arm and stopped him. “Hey, just remember what I’ve told you. Okay.” Dean said while stared at Cas.  
Cas shoved Dean’s arm and just nodded slowly. Then he started to walk and counted his steps like a kid, which made Dean and Sam both chuckled.  
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. he stopped and looked at Sam, smiling, then he put another step. Yes, he isn’t stuck he can move further. He sighed.  
Dean felt he already missed the cute and Hot moments he stolen from Cas when they were bound together. But Cas seems to be very happy about his freedom, but inside Cas also missed those moments. one side of Cas always wanted to be with Dean, but other side was very afraid and wanted to reject Dean. However, Cas wanted to leave the Dean and stay away from him. Because still he couldn’t able to stop loving him and leave those feelings about him.  
Dean brought a beer and went to his room before glared at Cas for the last time.  
*********  
“Sam, hey I wanna talk with you, you sleeping? “ Dean knocked Sam’s door.  
“Yeah, come in,” Sam was with his laptop, Dean opened the door and walked near to the bed. Sam closed his laptop and gave a suspicion look to Dean.  
“Hey, is everything okay?” Sam asked with the confused look because Dean’s face looks confused. Dean sighed. “Nah, Sammy. I’m kind of… you know man, I really need to talk with Cas” Dean felt his cheeks get red, but he needed to talk with Sam.  
Sam did understand his brother. He knew Dean really loves Cas. First time in his life Dean was being serious and Sam was never seeing before Dean Care about anyone else besides him, their mom and dad.  
“dude, I know okay? And I’m really sorry, I screwed up every time when you got chance” Sam said with a little chuckle. “But I need you both to end this game soon, so tell me what I should do for you”  
Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “yeah, Sammy, I want to talk to him along. but if you been here he always involved you or ran to you. So...”  
Sam chuckled and cut him off. “Yeah man, I get it, I will go out now. just send me a message when you have done.” Sam felt happy because finally his brother going to confess his love, finally he got the courage to do it. He put on his jacket and grabbed his wallet. Then he faced Dean. “Hey come here” Sam chuckled and went to Dean for a hug, Dean rolled his eyes. But he also chuckled and hugged his little brother.

“I’m proud of you Dean, go and get him.” Sam patted Dean’s shoulder and left the room. Dean followed him. Sam grabbed the keys and walk to the bunker door. Dean sighed. Now he has to get all the courage all he had because he is going to do this. Dean thought himself before he heard that.  
“Sam where are you going?” both Sam and Dean heard Cas’s voice as Dean closed his eyes and cursed.  
“Um. I’m going to aa... to the... to the town Cas. Do you want something? I can bring them with me” Sam asked quickly, wishing Cas will not asking to join with him.  
“Actually I don’t want anything Sam, but I also wanted to go to the town. Wait I will come with you, give me a second.” Cas stood up and walked towards to his room quickly.  
Before he thought about the Consequences Dean stand in front of Cas’s way. “ah Cas, where are you going?”  
Cas tilted his head in confusion look, which always did some twist in Dean’s heart. but this time Cas’s face shaded a little bit of anger.  
“it’s not your business Dean,” Cas said before start again his way to the room.  
Dean was speechless and he looked at Sam who already shaking his head like their plan was gone blast. Dean signed with his hand to Sam like telling him to do something. Sam got the hint and he nodded as he cleared his throat.  
“Cas, actually, you know it’s kinda… um. it’s a Private thing. I mean if you don’t mind can we go to your work another time?” Sam asked while scratching back of his hair.

Cas stopped and turned back to Sam and gave him a nod. “Oh, my apologies. Its okay Sam, you should tell me earlier, its okay”. Cas said and slowly went to his room. Sam quickly gave thumbs up to Dean and rushed out the bunker. Dean sighed and inhaled sharply. he stayed there few minutes then slowly walked to the Cas’s room.

step by step, which he put towards the room, he felt he gathered more strength. After few steps, he was in front of Cas’s room. he silently listened to his heartbeat. Slowly he brought his hand up to knock the door, bud that moment, suddenly the door swings open and it caused to scream to The Great Hunter Dean Winchester as he goes.

Cas nearly jump out at that unexpected drama but he didn’t say anything but stared at Dean.

“Oh. I’m sorry, I just kinda didn’t expect that you will open the door like that, I mean I was, I was going to knock. ahh before that aam that happened hah hah, you know, I mean you opened the door.” Dean stated while he wiped his chin and chuckling like an idiot.

Cas didn’t say anything as he closed the door behind him and started walked towards the war room as he passed Dean quickly.  
Dean saw that Cas has changed his sweet pant and now he was wearing a black denim and he had worn his jacket too. ohh he must be going to town alone.

“Cas, what do you think you doing?” Dean asked while he also came to Cas quickly.

  
Cas stopped walking and turned around to face Dean.

“I don’t think that I should tell you all the things I’m doing, but for the record, I’m going to town, and don’t dare to stop me or come after me. and I clearly heard you when you say those consequences, which I have to face if I break the promise, so I know I’m practically stuck with you in here, so at least please don’t involve my personal things anymore, I don’t want to share anything with you, I’m almost done”

 

Cas replied with rough voice and angry face and rushed out to the bunker and slammed the door loudly.

  
Dean felt a huge pain in his heart. “Cas hates me, Love of my life just hates me.

” Dean looked up, “is that you want Chuck. Do you also think that I’m not worth for your Son? Hah? If you thinking like that you are wrong this time okay? You hear me? I Love him so much and I will win him back, whatever happens.”

Dean said to the air as his face aimed to the upside. He grabbed a beer before slowly made his way to the kitchen table and sat down.

  
He remembered the things he had said to Cas that day. “ ** _You know what Cas, just fuck off. Just fuck off my life Ok? I don’t want to be a joke because of you_** ”.

Now Cas keep doing exactly the same thing, what I had said him to do. I was rejected Cas without reason and now he rejecting me but the difference is now he got a reason for that. Unfortunately, I’m the person who creates that reason. Dean took a sip of his beer and closed his eyes tightly as he felt huge pain and guilty in his heart.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, I add a guest character, because always wanted to see jealous Dean, with this person. ;)  
> sorry for the grammar, my dear friend, my beta will correct them soon, please let me know how is this and thanks for reading. <3

“Dean, hey what’s happened? Did you… “ Sam asked while he rushed to the war room, but Dean cut him off “Nothing happened Sam, nothing happened. as soon as you left the bunker he also got dressed and leave the bunker, seems like he hates to be somewhere if I’m also there” he released a heavy sigh.  
“Oh! man, I don’t know what to say or what to do, I mean don’t you have any tricks, you know you always got ladies, actually you got them like a second like it’s nothing for you, so can’t you do that charm for Cas?” Sam asked while chuckling.  
“Oh don’t be a moron Sammy, did you have seen me? Huh? Man, I’m a warrior. a handsome, smart, adorable, cute, sexy and a Hot man like a fuck. I’m just like a prince charming to ladies, so that’s really nothing to me.” Dean gave a wide proud smile like an idiot and he made his collar up. Sam rolled his eyes.  
“yeah?” Sam asked in a teasing tone.  
“Hell yeah. But in this case I can’t use them for Cas, hmm he, he… God, he is not a chick, he is so precious to me, he is a former Angel and, and he practically hates me, Sammy.” Dean wiped his face with his hand and looked at Sam.  
“I don’t know man, will see. You will get him ok. Just you know, patience man” Sam patted his brother’s shoulder and walked towards his room.  
Dean was still in the war room with his laptop, when Cas came back in that evening. He had no idea that it’s raining outside until he saw Cas, who was a wet mess now. Cas seems completely wet, soaked, tired and kind of disappointed. Dean looked at his shirt, which was soaked through, and his dark blocks, now completely wet and also the way water drops came under his ear. His plump lips were shaking because of the coldness. Dean thought that Cas is too sexy like this. Dean wished if he could touch those wet hair, kiss those cheeks which shaded to pick because of the coldness, and god he can’t even list what he want to do to those lips, and how he wants to warm that lips, he can suck them until those lips got swollen or Cas can use his own cold lips to suck something for those make warm. Dean got shivered with that thought. he wished if he could hold him and warm him right now, but he couldn’t. Suddenly he awake from his thoughts and he shook his head, quickly stood up and walked towards Cas, who slowly tried to get rid of his soaked jacket.  
“Heyya Cas, next time you should carry an umbrella with you, God… you soak and look so tired, come, let me help you” Dean reached for the Cas’s Jacket.  
But Cas immediately stepped away from Dean and glance at him, didn’t say a word and walked toward his room as Dean watched him with a long sigh. He stood there for few minutes, “I miss you Cas, I miss our little talks” he thoughts to himself and then he smiled. He quickly went to the kitchen and made a hot coffee. Then he walked to the Cas’s room and slowly knocked the door.  
“Sam, I thought you are slee…” Cas opened the door while saying it with a grin but stopped when he saw that it was Dean, who stands there with a hot steaming coffee mug.

“Hey, I know that you must be freezing with this rain so I thought this will help you, so I…” Dean started with a huge grin, but didn’t get chance to finish it as Cas glance at him again and tried to close the door to his face. But Dean was quicker than him as he put his free hand on the door before it completely shut and he rushed to the room pushing confused and angry Cas, into the room. Dean also was pissed.  
“What do you think you doing? Just get out of my room.” Cas yelled at him while watching Dean put the coffee mug on the nearest table. Dean faced to Cas within second and grab Cas’s hand tightly, he turned Cas and slammed Cas’s chest against the closed door, then leaned to Cas. his chest pressed into Cas's back, Crushing Cas’s firm ass by his hips. Cas’s gasped as he shocked what happened to him within like a second.

“Dean… ah, what the hell you are doing, let me go you Assbutt” Cas yelled and squirmed against Dean’s grip to free himself. His cheeks were firmly pressed against the door. Dean was still grabbed Cas’s arm behind him.

“I’m doing what I have to do Cas, I have tried, tried, and tried to talk to you, you didn’t listen to me, you kept ignoring me, why Cas? can’t you forgive your best friend”  
Dean asked with a firm voice, trying to keep Cas under his control because Cas kept squirm like craze beneath him. When he doing that suddenly Cas’s ass cheeks pressed hard to Dean’s crotch and both of them got frozen for a second. Dean barely managed to not rubbing his hips against Cas’s ass.  
Dean leaned his mouth to Cas’s ear and he goes.  
“I need you to listen to me Cas, please don’t ignore me anymore, I can’t take that anymore Cas, please” Dean pleaded. He sighed as his warm breath touched Cas’s neck causing Cas shivered and froze again. Dean can only considerate on the beauty and the warmth of Cas’s neck, he needed to lick there, kiss that fine neck. And he needed to bite and suck hickies on that precious neck and mark Cas as his, make him his own. Dean licked his lips unconsciously and closed his eyes tight for a moment to stop him from doing that.

“There is nothing left to listen. Ah, just, just let me go you mud monkey. Release me…” Cas yelled and tried to get rid of his grip. That nickname made Dean giggled but he pressed harder Cas against the door for keeping him still.

“Aah... Dean, stop this, you are hurting me, Dean!” Cas yelled and tried to push Dean away.

“oh really? but you also hurting me by ignoring me like a shit Cas” Dean replied.

Suddenly Cas’s angry voice changed to painful tone. “I mean you are really hurting me, please leave me, Dean”  
Dean recognized Cas’s voice change, as suddenly he grabbed Cas’s waist and pulled him from the door and turned him around. He was terrified.

“Shit Cas, I’m so sorry, did I hurt your wounds. Oh my god I’m so sorry Cas, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Let me see” before Cas stopped him, Dean lifted Cas’s t-shirt and check on the wounds. Cas patted his hand and shove them off.

“What the hell you want from me Dean, why you keep doing this to me. Who do you think I am? Just leave me alone or let me leave the bunker. I can’t do this anymore. Why do you keep hurting me? Is that your new hobby? Tears are dropped down from Cas’s eyes and he recognized he is crying as he can’t hold his pain and anger anymore.  
“I hate my self to being this much of weaker, I can’t even stop this freaking tears, I hate human hormones because it makes me more weak” Cas stated and wiped his face with his palm.  
“Cas, look I’m so sorry, I don’t want to hurt you, I just, just need to talk to you, I promise you Cas I will never hurt you again, never. And I just want to talk with you and I need you back. you know I need you to forgive me Cas, I Miss you! Miss you so much” Dean begged as he looked at Cas’s blur blue eyes with tears.

“Huh? you know what Dean, I don’t want it back, I mean I really don’t need to deal with you again, I’m really done with you. you keep telling that you want to talk with me, so go ahead I will listen now, split it? What you want to tell me now? How do you want to insult me this time? Do it as you wish, about what you want to shout me this time? Anything, go ahead. If it’s not enough for you just attack me. Hit me till I’m bleeding. Say it Dean what do you want to tell me.” Cas yelled without stopping for breathing?

“Gees Cas! I don’t want to do anything like those. never. I just want to say that, that, um... Cas that night… I was drunk, I’m so sorry for being an asshole to you. those all are completely different things what I wanted to tell you. And, and” Dean was stuck with his own words, this is not what he planned, but here now Cas ready to listen to him. But how the hell he going to confess just right now, in front of Cas.

“Are you done? Is that over? ” Cas asked with a sobbed voice as he wiped his freshly rolled tears on his cheek. Cas couldn’t believe what’s happening there. He never hoped Dean will do something like that. But as always Dean gives mix signals and as always Cas get lost in it and suffering a lot.

 

“No, no just wait. The most important thing is, um… Cas… I… I… um ” Dean gulped and closed his eyes tightly for a second, and gathered all the strength, I’m gonna do this. He said himself in his mind. Finally, he opened his eyes and looked at Cas’s eyes directly.  
“Cas, I… um… ahem, I… OK. Cas… I need you!” it’s released in his mouth instead of what he wanted to say. Actually, he couldn’t say those three magic words to Cas. He failed to confess again. Cas felt his heart fill with huge pain again. Does Dean need me? Huh.

“Why you need me anymore Dean? I’m not an angel anymore. As you said I’m useless” Cas huffed.  
“I can’t do anything properly and, and I don’t have anything left to give you Dean. I have given you everything I had. Now I have nothing to give you Dean, I only left this human body” his voice was broken and filled with pain.  
Cas hated human hormones so, so much because yes it’s again tears. Cas realized he is crying as tears are rolling from his eyes.

Cas’s words hit Dean as a slap in his face. His own tears slid down his cheeks.  
“Cas, please don’t say like that. I needed to say to you, I… I… I mean… please understand me Cas, I mean it, I need you Cas, I mean I… I… Cas… I… god I can’t do this” Dean found he is Runs away from the only chance he got. Next minute Dean was in his room, hands covered his head and he hated himself so much. Cas other side, he was beyond the pain, he leaned down to the closed door and put his hand on his chest as he felt huge pain there.

*************

Next Morning Dean woke up with a gasp, he wiped his still sleepy eyes and glance at the clock, still 7.00 Am. He closed his eyes again as he was not ready for the shits which gonna happened to him this day, he doesn’t want to think about anything right now. but he felt little thirsty, he reached his hand for his water bottle, which he put on the nearest table but saw that it was empty. He felt so lazy to climb out on his bed but slowly he got off from the bed and went to the kitchen. The moment he opened his door his nose hit with a mouthwatering and delicious smell. He quickly walked to the kitchen as he thought Sam must be wake up early and cooking breakfast. But when he reached to the kitchen it was empty but when Dean looked at the table his eyes went wide.

There were fluffy and tasty looking pancake plate, scrambled eggs and toast, and a fresh vegetable salad. He knew Sam will never do this and next moment he got shocked at the thought. Cas? But, how? How the hell former Angel knows to cook. And the smell tells that food must be definitely delicious. But, how? And why?

Suddenly his sin full mind made a vision, which Cas ware nothing but black boxer brief and face to the counter and cooking, so fucking domestic visual and Dean shook his head and broke his bubble, as he goes while smirking to the foods on the table. Because he knew his thoughts going dirty as the way it’s going when he remembered the way he saw Cas’s naked ass through the blur shower curtains.

Dean quickly sat on the chair and grabbed a plate, he got a pancake and eagerly cut a generous piece and without wasting any second he shoved it into his mouth,  
“Mmmmmmm oh my god Cas, where were you been before, gush this is delicious” Dean moaned like crazy for the entire pancake. he eagerly grabbed scramble egg plate and got three spoons of it and a toast, and hurriedly got a bite, he was moaned again.  
“God, these are golden, I mean it seems like normal food but this is taste like heaven, but how?”.  
And next, he glanced to the vegetable salad. Ok, that is totally Sam’s rabbit food, but fuck, it’s cooked by Cas. His Cas. Huh I should definitely try that, there is not any harm if you taste some vegetable which cooked by your future boyfriend. Dean chuckled at his own idea and grabbed a spoon of salad. He slowly shoved some little amount into his mouth and his eyes went wide as the taste was so good.

He doesn’t remember the last time he ate vegetables, but now, with this salad, he thought he can eat this every day, but only if Cas make it and defiantly Sam doesn’t want to know about that.  
however he finished a big amount of foods which was on the table, and he saw a folded little piece of paper which was under a glass.

Suddenly Dean’s heart filled with a fear, he remembered the last night. God, I hurt him again, is he left the bunker again? “No, no, no not again Cas!” He immediately took the paper and read.

 

 **_Sam,_ **  
**_Yesterday I failed to find any vacancy because some shops were closed when I arrived there, and because of the rain. So I’m going early today and I hope to spend all the day for it. Oh, and I have made some breakfast, hope you will like it._ **

**_Castiel._ **

Dean caressed his chest as he got some heart attack. He breathed a great sigh of relief and glance again Cas’s small letter.

“Wow, what is that amazing smell? Dean did you made something special. Coz it’s not like your regular pancake smell?” Sam asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes. Dean heard the sleepy voice of Sam as he turned to see Sam has entered the kitchen.

“Nop, I didn’t and Cas did. he has given us a little surprise and that’s why the smell is different” Dean replied and smirked at Sam.  
“aww so Domestic, oh wait? did you? oh my god, what happened, did you confess” Sam’s eyes went wide with the excitement and he was so impatient to know.

“Whoa, easy man, no! I didn’t Okay. I didn’t do that. And instead of that, I hurt him again, but not like that day, but, hmm I think I screwed up again Sammy”

“What the hell Dean. What did you do? is he okay? Now, where is he? ” Sam was pissed at Dean but Dean shoved him the Cas’s small letter. they didn’t talk about it anymore and Sam moaned and kept telling that foods are amazing for the whole time he was eating.  
Dean walked into his room and lay on his bed and grabbed his phone, his face filled with a naughty smirk, he started to type a text message to Cas.

**Cas – Hey Angel, Breakfast was Amazing. I ate like a hungry wolf. Thanks, Angel. ;)**

he sent the message and waiting for a reply, he was so excited to see Cas’s reply. But Cas didn’t reply, of cause he didn’t. “Okay! Are you not gonna reply huh? Will see” Dean said to his phone and started to type another text message.

**Cas- BTW, how did you learn to cook? And gush those pancakes are delicious, can I know the recipe :D**

Dean waited another half hour. but Cas didn’t reply. Dean didn’t give up and texted again.

**Cas – Cassssssssssss! no reply? Ouch!**

Another half hour, but no reply. Dean started to type another but stop and looked at the screen name. _**Cas**_. Just _**Cas**_. Dean smiled at the phone and changed the name. Then, typed the message.

**Blue-eyed Angel – Angel, I’m so sorry for all the things, can we start all over again? Please??**

But Cas didn’t reply, Dean waited for the reply and slowly he fell asleep in the afternoon.

************

 

Sam and Dean were in the war room when Cas came to the bunker that evening.  
“Sam… I got it, I got a job” Cas was so happy and his voice was so excited. both brothers looked at each other face.  
“Wow Cas, wonderful. so happy about that, so what’s the job?” Sam asked and he was really happy to see Cas like this much of happiness. Dean felt happy but also he felt some kind of strangeness, like Cas going to go away from him. Because when Cas mentioned about a job, he really didn’t think about it, but here now Cas has already found a one.

Cas sat near to Sam with a huge grin on his face, he makes sure to not give even a little glance at Dean who now listening to them with very deliberately looking on his face.

“Um, actually I walked all over the town, searching for any notice for a vacancy, but I didn’t find any, but at the evening I passed this library and saw a notice that tells they need a cleaner”

“What? Cas are you crazy? You don’t need to do a cleaning job, gush you are an Angel after all”  
Dean yelled at Cas. but Cas rolled his eyes and glance at Sam.  
“Sam, may I continue my story?” he asked and waited for his answer.  
“Um, of course, Cas, please go ahead.” he replied and glare at Dean with a look ‘don’t bother him’

 

“so I walked into that library and this girl came and show me the room of Library Manager. so I met him and I asked him about the vacancy. he asked me about my self, so I told him that basic information you teach me and gave those documents you prepared for me. then he asked me that why I’m looking for this kind of job. I told him that I need to start my life from the first step. So it doesn’t matter about the job. Then he stared at me few seconds” Dean’s feature changed with that words, he barely managed to not show to his dislike.

“so Mr.Queen told that he can’t give me that cleaning job as my education qualifications are good, more than that level, then he asked me that what I know about books, so you know that as Metatron gave me knowledge of every book, I still remember lot amount of those, so I told him that I had read lots of books. Then he rubbed his palms together then asked me lots of questions about books, characters, dates, years, and information. I answered them with seconds because I remembered them all”

“Finally Metatron’s work got to succeed, huh.” Dean huffed and said with annoyed tone.

Cas continued his story. “Then Mr.Queen stood up and shoved me his hand and said “welcome to the new job Mr. Novak, I hire you as a Librarian in my library, actually lot of questions I asked from you, also I didn’t know the answers, and I just checked it from this computer. But you didn’t get it for even seconds to answer. I’m very impressive” so then he gave me my job role and gave me instructions show me the library and introduce me to other employs. And he said that I can work since tomorrow” Cas finished with an innocent smile on his face.  
“Wow Cas, Librarian ha? Cool man, I’m proud of you. And Cas you are doing so great.”  
Sam stated and patted on Cas’s shoulder.  
“Thank you Sam” Cas replied with a little shy smile. Then Sam remembered something.  
“Hey Cas I almost forget about the breakfast, man it was delicious, I don’t know that how did you do that but everything is so Amazing, I mean how did you even know how to cook.” Sam was overjoyed as he remembered his breakfast.  
Cas’s face lighted by a beautiful smile “oh Thank you Sam, actually when I borrow your laptop sometimes I checked YouTube and watched videos, then I saw cooking videos and I watched lots of them, that’s how I learned to cook, so today I woke up little earlier and though it’s the best time for experiment” Cas said while smiling at Sam.

“Oh is that so, hey Cas, but next time please make sure to make more, coz I only ate small portion” Sam was pouting.  
Dean knew the way is going on not good. Cas’s face changed to wonder.  
“But Sam, I prepared foods at least for 4 persons. And I ate only two pancakes, so how it’s happened.”  
Sam immediately glanced at Dean who suddenly trying to give his whole attention to his phone. “You jerk, really? No Lunch! I’m dieting. Huh? Did you ate whole the foods?”  
Sam complained and glared at Dean.  
“What? It’s so delicious and I couldn’t stop me, but at least I’ve saved you some you bitch” Dean said and smirked at Sam.

“Oh, wait, Cas did you, did you also made that Vegetable salad for like 4 persons? ” Sam asked this time with a huge teasing tone.  
“Yes Sam, of course,” Cas replied with a confused look.  
“Oh Dean, did you ate fresh Vegetable, oh my god I didn’t think that this day will rise ever, Dean Winchester finally ate rabbit foods” Sam clapped his hands and laughed loudly.  
“Oh shut up you Bitch” Dean barked at him and looked at Cas, “Hey Angel, what is the Library Manager’s name again?” he asked from Cas but Cas only glared at him.  
“Oh c’mon Cas it just a name. What? do you shame to say your boss’s name? ” Dean huffed.  
“His name is Oliver Queen” Cas replied.

“What kind of weird surname it is? Huh? Queen? like a Queen, Queen? I mean that Oliver guy has to wear a crown. Dean started to giggle like an idiot”

 

Cas glared at him and stood up then looked at Sam “I’m so tired Sam, I’m going to my room, good night” Cas said without even glancing at Dean.  
“Yeah, sure. good night Cas” Sam smiled at Cas softly.  
“Night Angel” Dean also said with a low voice even he knew that Cas didn’t care.

“Okay Mr.Queen, I think we have to meet very soon,” Dean thought then stood up to walked towards his room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean trying his ass off. poor Cas is still in pain, and what the fuck Oliver is doing here? lol. just check it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the mistakes friends :D and Comments and Kudos are welcome <3

Dean got a call from Jodi as she believes that she got some clue of Jack, so Dean decided that he must go and check on it while Sam staying the bunker with Cas and finding some more information. After a heated argument, brothers settled down with the Dean’s idea, but Sam kept saying that it’s a great opportunity for Dean to be along with Cas while he can investigate about Jack’s clue. Dean could also agree with that, but he doesn’t want to put Sam on a danger because Jack is the main aim of all the supernatural creatures, so it will be a little relief if only he goes alone for it.  
So Dean leaves the bunker next day morning, he walks to Cas’s room to say that he is leaving but Cas didn’t open the door or reply for him, so Dean sighed and said goodbye.  
He met Jodi and they exchanged their newest stuff and then they went on for the clue, both of they had to visit lots of places as they spend two days for the investigation, but ended with nothing. So after two days, Dean came back to the bunker that evening. He had called Sam and filled with all the information, then after they finished their searching Dean also informed it to Sam. but he didn’t tell him that he is coming today. So when he enters the bunker there was no one in the war room, he dropped his duffel bag to the floor and looked around.  
“Sam… Cas… where are you guys?” then he stopped and headed to Sam’s room, suddenly he heard giggling sound from inside the room, he put his ear to the door and listened to the sound which came from the room. Yes, it’s a freaking giggling sound and to Dean’s surprise, he can hear both Sam’s and Cas’s voices.  
Dean felt huge curiosity about what’s going on inside of the room as well as little jealous. Next minute he opened the door without knocking or inform them to the cutest thing he has ever seen, but his mouth dropped when he saw Sam’s bed. It was full of foods. Pizzas, popcorns, caramel popcorns, chocolate bars, Coca-Colas, cookies, two ice-cream cups, a bowl of m & m’s and skittles, and a bowl of Nachos.

Sam and Cas were on the bed, Sam’s Laptop was between them and both of their eyes aimed at the Laptop as they giggling like kids. Cas has hugged a pillow with one hand and he was holding it tightly to his chest and laid his chin on it, his other hand was filled with m & m’s, and also his mouth was filled with those m & m’s and skittles. Dean couldn’t get his eyes from Cas’s face, it was filled with beautiful, innocent smile, that is the most needed thing for Dean, most rare thing. A Smile on Castiel’s face. But Dean Saw it for just a few seconds as both Sam and Cas looked at the door as it open.

“Hey man, you are home? Dude, you should call us earlier, then we could wait for you for our little movie night” Sam jump out of the bed and said with a happy voice, while he walks towards Dean. But the happiness of the Cas’s face started to shade off as he put those m & m’s and skittles to the bowl which he held on before. Then slowly put the pillow on Sam’s bed.  
Dean saw the whole change on Cas’s face. “Um, actually, I wanted to, but my battery was dead,” Dean said while glancing over Cas again.  
“So, what you guys are watching, I heard that stupid giggling to the bunker door” he slowly walked to the bed and leaned to the laptop to see what is playing on.  
“What? Home Alone? Dude, are you serious? Did you make Cas watch that kiddy movie? Oh now I doubt that you actually are my brother” Dean stated while shaking his head, Sam rolled his eyes and Dean started again “Actually didn’t you guys found any fucking cowboy movie? Let me choose one for you guys,”  
“Whoa, whoa Dean! wait. it’s not my choice, Cas wanted to watch it, okay? He had read a book in the library so he liked it so much and asked me about the movie, as the information of that book, so then I promised him that I will search it for him, and then here we are. Throwing a little movie night for him, so why don’t you join us instead of been a Jerk around here” Sam said and glare at him.  
That would be interesting because It’s a like an initiation to the heaven for Dean, he can sit very close to the Cas and can watch a movie with him again, just like before their fight, it will suck to watch that kiddy movie, but it doesn’t important, hell whose care about the movie. He looked at Cas, who still giving his attention to the movie which playing on the laptop. Before he knows what he is doing he jumped to the bed, next to the Cas. Actually, he was on the half of Cas’s body, immediately Cas shoved him away and settled again on the bed keeping distance between them as much as he can. And he didn’t forget to glare at Dean. Dean chuckled at him and grabbed the pillow which Cas hold before, then he put it between his bow legs and tighten it between his legs looking at Cas’s eyes directly while licking his lips. Cas immediately looked at the laptop again but Sam started to shout.  
“Hey what the hell man, that’s my spare pillow, don’t put it on your crotch man, just, just you are a just gross man” Sam yelling at him and tried to get his pillow back, but Dean pat his hand and grabbed Cas’s ice cream cup and slice of pizza.  
“What? I’m your brother bitch, by the way, you didn’t complain when Cas hold it before. Huh? Go away bitch and let me watch your kiddy movie.” Dean grinned and shoved a spoon full of ice cream into his mouth and next second he bit a huge piece of the pizza slice.  
“Seriously dude? How you eat like that, disgusting man” Sam wrinkled his nose.  
“Shuddup, and watch the movie” Dean groaned.  
Finally, they considerate on the movie but Dean couldn’t, he was beaming, he is so close to Cas without his rejection after a long time. Dean slowly turned his head and glance over Cas.  
“Hey Cas, why don’t you told me before that you like comedies, if you have told it before, we could watch together some, just like we watch Tombstone. Do you remember that day? oh man, It was awesome.” Dean said and he slowly put his hand around Cas, and rest it on the headboard of the bed near to the Cas’s shoulder.

But Cas didn’t reply for that. His happy face which was glued to him before was gone now. Cas is just looking at the lap, like no interest anymore, he didn’t eat anything since Dean’s arrival. Those reactions killing Dean from inside but he had a hope, Cas still being there with him in the same bed. He slowly moved towards Cas’s side and moved his hand around Cas’s shoulder but not put on his shoulder, only just like he gonna put it on there.  
But unfortunately, it’s not for a long time. After minutes Cas slowly wiped his face then rubbed his eyes. Dean knew what gonna happened, but before he prevention it, Cas looked at Sam.  
“Sam, this was so good, thank you very much, but now I think I must get some sleep, and also I must go to the library earlier tomorrow, so good night then” Cas gave soft smile to Sam and climbed to his feet to get off from the bed, before that Dean grabbed Cas’s hand.  
“Cas wait, I know you just don’t want to do this with me. Look, you don’t have to leave. I will leave. You just enjoy the movie night, it’s yours after all” Dean didn’t wait for any reply as he jumps out of the bed and left the room so quickly. “Dean, wait” Sam called out, but he didn’t stop. Sam felt bad for his brother but he couldn’t blame on anyone.  
Cas was being there just like that for minutes, now he defiantly didn’t want to be there anymore, when Dean came to the room he felt happy, actually when Dean wasn’t in the bunker he felt kind of emptiness in his heart, but he hated it. He can’t depend on Dean anymore, but it’s just happened, then when Dean Jump to the bed, almost crushing him, his heart started to go race. His body goes on fire when Dean’s body touches his. He wanted to rest his head on Dean’s shoulder, he wanted to cuddle on Dean’s chest. He barely stooped those feelings by biting his bottom lip so hard. But his patience was gone when Dean slowly moved to him and when his hand touched his shoulder, it was torturing to Cas, that’s why he gonna leave, he didn’t want to destroy the movie night. Cas released a big sigh.  
“Sam, I don’t know what to say, I… I just… I will go to my room” Cas said with a sad voice.  
“Hey its okay man, don’t upset with that, and Dean must be tired, and I’m also so sleepy now, so good night Cas” Sam replied with a soft smile.  
Cas nodded and walked towards his room.  
Dean directly went to his room and sit on his bed, he sighed like he wanted to release all the tension with that. He can fight with Darkness, with Satan, but he can’t see the way Cas reject him, its hurt him like so much. But all this shits happening because of his fault. So he has to going through this. He deserved this. He sighed again and grabbed his towel and walked towards the bathroom.  
****************

Next morning Cas woke up slowly, his eyes still so sleepy, so he rubbed them and lift his head to look at the table clock, but he gasped when he saw the parcel which laid on his bed near to his head, he immediately sits on the bed then grabbed the parcel. Its look like a present, which wrapped in a blue color paper. Cas rotate it and looked very carefully, then he saw it. There is one word written in a blue ink pen.  
“Cas”  
There are only two persons there, to put this on here, and Cas have no idea why they gave him a present, at least it's not his birthday, and fuck, even who knows his birthday, he was a freaking Angel after all. But now he is a human, he can’t control his curiosity, he wanted to see what was inside of that, so he slowly removed the tape and opened the parcel. His eyes raised with surprise when he saw that, it’s a cute messenger bag, he quickly took it to his hands, it was a leather one, and when he turns it other side something fell on to his lap, it’s a cute little bumble bee key tag.

Cas started to think, yesterday Dean came back from his investigation trip, he must be the one who put this here. His heart felt huge pain as his eyes drop to the bag again. But he can’t let Dean do this to him. Cas stand up and grab the bag and key tag, put those on the paper just like it sit in before then close it and taped it. He took it and walked towards the Dean’s room. But before he went there he saw Dean sit on the war room with a coffee, Dean turned to his back to the sound of the Cas’s footsteps, he saw the parcel which on Cas’s hand, as his face lighted by a huge grin.  
“Good Morning Sunshine. You wanna some coffee? And also do you like my gift?” he asked with super excited voice. Cas directly went to the Dean and put the parcel on the war table with a huge sound.  
“Hey what’s wrong? Don’t you like that? I bought it for you because I thought it will be useful for you when you going to the library, and I know that how much you like bees” Dean chuckled as he remembered that day Cas showed in the Impala fully naked and covered with bees. Then he looked at Cas who stared at him crossing his arms over his chest. Cas didn’t say anything and turned back to go away but Dean immediately stands up.  
“Cas, wait! I have already told you this, this is a gift, and you keep those.” his voice is rough and high.  
Then Cas turned to him, his face is calm but eyes shining with anger, “I. Don’t. Need. Your Gifts” he said it and rushed to his room without looking back.  
Dean felt his heart started to burn, but he didn’t say anything to Cas, he deserved these reactions from Cas, yes, its defiantly hurts but he deserved those.  
*************

Cas did his best, for his job, he was an active employer, actually he was the neatest, most active, most polite and smartest employer of the library, he learned his job roll quickly, it’s barely his second week on the job, but the whole staff, the customers and all the regularly readers were already very impressed by Cas. He always cares about customer satisfaction, the most important thing was his boss. Mr. Queen. He was very happy about his new Librarian. Cas was the first one who came to the library in the morning. That day as always he came early in the morning and he directly went to the computers, he turned on them, and then checked all the book racks, and receipts and other stuff. He wanted to make sure that all are lined up neatly, and correctly. Then he turned to went to his table, he nearly jumped out as the Mr.Queen was his behind. Mr. Queen raised his hand as a defense.  
“I’m, sorry Castiel, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said while chuckling.  
Cas cleared his throat “Oh, um, it’s okay Mr.Queen” he said and smile with him.  
“actually I was looking at you, I mean the way you working and taking care of everything, I came here to talk with you but, when I see you working actively all the things gone from my mind and, I kind of staring at you, you can’t blame me, coz which Boss is doesn’t like to see an active employer.” Mr. Queen stated and looked at Cas directly.  
Cas felt kind of happy but also an embarrassment “um, Thank you, Mr.Queen, you told that you want to talk to me. Is anything wrong?” he asked with a confused voice. Next second Mr.Queen’s face turned to official look, “Yes, actually there is something wrong Castiel.”  
Cas gulped and blinked. He felt kind of confusion because he never did anything wrong here, but he ready for anything, because he didn’t care if he lost this job, it’s nothing to him, when compared with the things he lost already. So he was ready for anything.  
“Mr.Queen, I’m really sorry if I had done something wrong, please tell me that what is it, I will do my best to correct that.” Cas said with a soft voice, but also surprising him, he felt kind of sadness. Because he was just begin his new life back.  
“Yes you better, and that thing is you keep calling me ‘Mr.Queen’ and it makes feel me like an old man, so please call me Oliver, can you do that Castiel?” Oliver asked with a beautiful smile on his face.

Cas felt kind of relief but also little angry because he scared him for nothing. He sighed.  
“Actually I don’t know is that okay to call you like that because you are my boss,” Cas said honestly.  
“Oh c’mon Castiel, we both must be same age and also you are kind of smarter than me, and I’m the person who saying to call me like that so what’s the problem?” he said and chuckled.  
This time Cas also gave him a small smile. “Okay then, Oliver”  
“Cool, so Castiel, keep going with your work, I will see you later,” He said softly and gave him a beautiful smile and walked towards his office. This happened in the next few days as Oliver came every morning to talk with Cas. they talked about books and Oliver flirt with Cas here and there, but most of the time Cas didn’t get those and gave ridiculous answers for those, and Oliver laughed off to those and he started to spend more time with Cas. First Cas felt odd about his arrivals and talks, but after, with the time he got kind of respect for Oliver, he was a good, and kind man for him, and a kind friend.  
***********************  
Its Sunday morning of that week, Cas was in the bunker library, he was learned many things about book arrangement from his job. And actually the bunker library was a mess because of the two brothers, they always pulled all the books and put back in hurry but not the correct place. So Cas wanted to arrange those books correctly since a few weeks ago, so today he got chance for that, so he listed all the books and started arranged them correctly and neatly.  
After few minutes Dean woke up and came to the kitchen for his morning coffee, but he got to wonder when he saw the thing what Cas was doing, that time Cas was on the little library ladder and he was placing a books on an upper rack, so his shirt was little up and side of his firm stomach was visible, Dean can’t help but stare at that and he licks his lips unconsciously. Cas finished his books and he got down for, get some more books for the upper rack, he turned for that and saw Dean, who was staring at him, but Cas didn’t give any attention for him and he returned to his work. Dean got blush as he got caught to Cas.  
“Hey, Good Morning Sunshine. whatcha doing?” He asked with a soft voice as he came near to Cas, but he didn’t answer, Dean stayed there for few seconds, “Huh. What kind of Angel are you Cas? You even didn’t know any manners” Dean said and chuckled. It made Cas angry, but he didn’t say a word only glared at Dean and kept his book arrangement. Dean goes back to the kitchen with chuckling. When he came back with his hot coffee he also brought another one.  
“Hey, Angel I got you a coffee, come down and have it, here.” Dean shows to Cas, his coffee but Cas didn’t give any interest for Dean or his coffee, Dean rolled his eyes and pulled a chair and sat down. He smiled himself as he got a naughty idea, then he got a small sip and enjoyed it with a little moan. Cas gasped to that sound and quickly glance at Dean. But Dean gave him a most innocent smile. “gush this coffee is a killer one, fucking delicious, hey, come down and try it while it hot” he said it again but Cas didn’t give a shit for him and grabbed another book set, this time he had to packed them on the highest rack, Dean didn’t take his eyes from Cas, as he knew he can see kind of hot and delicious scenes here. He chuckled at his own thoughts and looked at Cas.  
Cas was trying to reach for the highest rack, he was not high for that even he was on the upper step on the library ladder. But he didn’t hesitate as he lifted from his toes, he put one book there and he goes for the second but unfortunately, he lost his balance and he goes to his back as he couldn’t able to catch anything, Dean’s eyes went high and he called out for Cas. With that, he jumped for catch him, putting his arms out. Cas couldn’t shout as he was in shock but his eyes were closed tightly as he falling down. Just seconds later, Cas dove into Dean’s arms, but because of the awkward angle, Dean couldn’t able to hold him as both of them crushed to the floor and rolled.  
Cas gasped for air, he was in huge shock as he couldn’t open his eyes but he can felt some heavy thing crushing him to the floor, also he could hear a panting sound above him, he slowly opened his eyes and his eyes go up, Dean was on him, on his body, his both hands were around Cas’s head, as secured it when they falling and rolled on the floor. Now Dean’s face was inches from Cas’s. Both of them shared the same air as they panting heavily.

They stared at each other’s eyes few seconds. Dean was terrifying when Cas falling down but now he was enjoying this, because love of his life is now underneath him and crushing by his body, Dean’s glace slowly moved to Cas’s lips from his eyes, then he licks his lips, he shook his head to keep his feelings only to his mind because he wanted to kiss those perfect lips the hell out of him. And bite them, suck and kiss him forever. But he couldn’t shake that from his head and he closed his eyes for a moment, and then looked at Cas’s, still shocked and brilliantly alight eyes.  
“Are you alright Angel?” Dean asked with heavy and rough tone, Cas didn’t answer but this time he slowly nodded.  
Dean chuckled softly. “Hurting anywhere?” He asked again, and he was still on Cas.  
Cas didn’t answer but glance over Dean’s body. “Cas? Answer, please? Are you hurting anywhere?”  
“No! But please get off me, you are so heavy and crushing me” Cas said with a weak voice. Dean’s brain started to work and immediately he moved out on Cas. Then helped him to sit, then he got his hand and pulled up, they started to each other’s eyes for another second. Suddenly Cas’s cheeks faded with bright pink as he looked down. He cleared the throat, “um, Thank you” that’s only he said before he rushed to his room, Dean Felt huge happy and he ran his fingers through his hair and smiled at Cas’s back. ”Anytime Angel,” he called out.  
Is that? Did he just? Did he just blush? Oh, my God, The Ex-Angel blushed because of me, interesting, good work Winchester, keep going. Dean thought and chuckled himself.  
After that, Dean barely saw Cas for the rest of the day.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is still trying and he got another huge trouble. a third man between them, so he has to win his Love back, or he will lost forever. Oh and what the fuck Oliver is doing, ah Poor Dean…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reading and sorry for the mistakes <3 oh and Kudos and Comments are welcome.

“Hey, Castiel. Good Morning” Oliver greeted with a beautiful smile on his face. Cas was in the book section choosing books from the cart he brought from the office. He turned back to see Oliver.  
“Oh, Good Morning, Mr.… um I mean Oliver” Cas remembered the request of Oliver, which not to call him in his surname.  
Oliver’s face lightened by a smile again. “See, it’s easy and simple, and I don’t know what is it, but there is something like… like… fancy! When it hears my name with your voice” he smirked at Cas and said.  
Cas looked at Oliver but he didn’t know what to say so he gave him a confused smile. And then he started his work again. Oliver didn’t hesitate for a bit as he moved little closer to Cas this time.  
“So, is it like you are not a big fan of sleeping, or you hate to sleep, maybe you can’t sleep, oh you like to spend more time here while seeing me more,” he asked with a huge grin on his face.  
This time Cas was really confused with that as he couldn’t understand what was Oliver mean by that.  
“Um, Oliver I’m sorry but I can’t understand what you mean by that” Oliver put his hand into his trouser pocket and bend his head little down as he couldn’t stop his laughter. He slowly controlled his laugh and gave the most charming smile to Cas.

“Oh Castiel, I mean you always came here early, actually you are the first employer came to work in the morning. And today it’s seriously early. so that’s why I’m asked that you got any problem with sleep or you wanna, um you know, you wanna spend more time in here? Actually, I was just messing with you Cas, like Joking with you? At least you know what is joking means? Right?” he chuckled.  
This time Cas’s face filled with a knowing smile “Oh I get it now, yes, I definitely know that what is joking means, and no, I don’t have a problem with sleep, but I like to spend time with these books. They make me so happy” Cas said with a happy tone. But the truth was he wanted to be away from Dean. He wanted to forget all the pain he went through, he wanted to forget the feeling he having for Dean, he knew that Dean will never let him leave the bunker, so Cas had to do something before he lost himself, that’s why he doing all these things.  
Oliver laughed at Cas’s answer. “Castiel, believe me, you are a very different person, I mean I had never met someone like you. There is something in you, like…like something special. Anyways I have to confess that I really like to spend time talking with you, and that makes me happy” Oliver’s tone was filled with feeling like he really means it. Cas felt kind of numb in his trough, for a moment he wished if it was Dean, now he talking with. He wished if Dean said this to him. But he wasn’t, this is his boss Oliver. Cas barely stopped his feelings and gave a weak smile to Oliver who staring at him.  
“Thank you, Oliver, it’s very nice to hear that,” Cas said slowly. Oliver chuckled.  
“See, I told you, you are different, anyway I gotta go now, see you around Castiel” before Cas reply he wink at Cas and turned to go to his office.

Cas was kind of shock, did he just wink at me? Or I saw it incorrectly? He didn’t go on it, because he didn’t care, so he got back to his work again.

***********  
Sam and Cas were in the war room. Sam was on his Laptop and Cas was sipping his hot coffee. Suddenly he remembered the things Oliver says to him that morning. Before he knows his face lighten with a little smile.

“Whoa, what was that?” Cas’s thoughts broken with Sam’s voice as he tilted his head and looked at Sam.  
“What?” Cas asked.  
“That smile? What was that? Looks like you were in deep in your head.” Sam gave a suspicion grin to him. Cas shook his head and chuckled little.  
“Nothing Sam, I just remember something,” Cas said like it's not a big deal.  
“So, care to share?” Sam’s curiosity was so high so he wanted to know about it because he knew that smile is not a normal one.  
“Um, actually It’s nothing, but of cause I will share it with you, you know Oliver, so he said that he had never met someone like me and there is something in me, something special, and he said that he really like to spend time talking with me. So I just remembered it and..”  
Cas couldn’t able to finish his sentence as both of them jumped out of the sound they heard behind them, as they turned to look behind them, it was Dean, there was a beer in his hand and looks like he had chocked his beer because they can see few beer drops were out of his mouth.

“Holly crap, I knew it, I just fucking knew it. Now he is hitting on you. And we even don’t know that, is he a human or not, I mean we never check him with holy water or try the exorcism, and didn’t make him bleed to check him” Dean put soundly his beer on the war table and said angrily.

“What? Do you want to make my boss bleed because he is hitting on me? And I don’t know what you mean by that because he never hit me. And I’m pretty sure he is not an Angel and of course not a demon, so you don’t need to do anything like that” Cas yelled back.  
“Oh, looks like someone get hurt because I said that we must do the stuff on his boss, and why the hell you calling by his first name to your brand new boss” Dean defiantly burn with jealous.  
“I don’t get hurt because of anyone, and I called by his first name because he asked so, and, and why am I telling this to you, I do what I wanted to and Oliver is a very good person so I know he wasn’t a supernatural creature, so don’t dare to do any stupid thing on him” Cas got pissed because Dean trying to involved his life again.  
“Oh Sammy, look at him. Wow, Cas amazing… you got that job barely three weeks ago, now you threaten me over that freaking boss of yours? Do you choose that stranger man over your Best Friend? Really Cas?” Dean said with a half Sad and half surprise tone.  
“Yes, because He is a really kind and good man, he never hurt the people around him” Cas got to stand and glare at Dean.  
“What that supposed to be?” Dean yelled back.  
“You heard me, and remember this too, you. Are. Not. My. Best. Friend. Not anymore” Cas shouted at Dean before he passed him towards the room. But before he leaves Dean grabbed Cas’s arm tightly and pulled him back. Cas didn’t expect that as suddenly he stopped with a gasp. But he got really angry at Dean.

“What do you saying Cas, and how could you talking to me like that” Dean said with a begging tone this time.  
“Let me go you Assbutt” Cas yelled and pulled his hand off him and then glared at him again, next second he rushed to his room. Sam was in a shock. he couldn’t do or say anything to fighters. He just watched them with hang open mouth. After Cas leave, he looked at Dean.  
“Not a word Sammy. Not a word’ Dean grabbed the key and left the bunker. He was in huge pain and also is jealous. He drove, drove, and drove his baby, he didn’t know where was he going, after hours, he stopped the car, he hit the steering wheel with his both hands and screamed.  
I have to do something before it gets too late. No, I’m not gonna lose this time. He drove back to the bunker and got a quick shower, put in his sweet pant and a black t-shirt. He wanted to know about that fucker. He got his laptop to the bed and started the typing name of the library which Cas is working, on the Google. As he thought it’s shown the Details of the Manager of the library,  
-Mr. Oliver Queen-  
Dean looked at the Photo of Oliver. His jealous growled like a fire, that man is freaking handsome. Before he knew what is he doing he got up and rushed to the bathroom and stand in front of the mirror, he looked at his reflection which shown in the mirror and remembered Oliver’s look.

Nah he can’t beat me. I’m still a bad ass. Huh. He said to himself. Then without his knowing he has done some modeling poses and then he giggled like an idiot. Oliver’s shoulder blades were good in that photo. He must have a well-growing body. Did Cas like to Oliver’s look, no way, he will never be like that, Cas have a good taste of humanity. Dean came back to the bed and looked at the photo again. He sighed slowly. He shut the laptop and laid on the bed.  
That night he saws numbers of dreams and he killed the Oliver Queen in that each and every dream and rescued Cas from him, also in last dream he kissed Cas and next seconded he woke up with a huge gasped. Damn it’s a dream. He wiped his eyes and glance at the clock, its 5.30 Am. he knows that Cas always going to the library at least 6.30 Am, so he got time to his Impress mission, he lost in his thoughts for a few minutes. Suddenly he got an idea as he got a new white towel and rushed to the bathroom. He got a slow hot shower and make sure to put some oil on his body. He rinsed all but let some oily shine stay on his skin. he got his towel and wrapped it around his lower back, a little bit lower, more than his usual waistline, then he directly walk towards the kitchen as he knew Cas will defiantly be there, cooking their breakfast. He hit with a mind-blowing smell as soon as he entered the kitchen, Dean was right, Cas was cooking that time. Cas herd the footstep sound as he turned to check who is that. He got a shock when he saw Dean like that.  
Dean’s hair still damp and pointing to all the directions, and also water drops were falling from his hair and his whole body was wet, his broad shoulders, strong bicep, firm, well build stomach, and manly hip, as well as his all delicious and dense muscles of his tanned body shining with an oily way, Cas couldn’t be able to take his eyes from Dean for a little while, Dean’s eyes had turned to a little red with the water and it had provided more plus point to his Sexy showing off mission.

Cas stayed still like a statue and Dean didn’t say anything, not greeting or not smiling but staring into Cas’s widen eyes, next moment Dean walked towards Cas as Cas get his conscious back but didn’t move a bit, just stared back. Dean stopped in front of Cas almost in his personal space, though he kept some space between them, suddenly he brought his right hand, near to the right side of the Cas’s face, as Cas hold his breath. He can smell the Dean’s scent as Dean was standing very close to him. Cas shivered when he hit the oily Scent of Dean’s and he felt Dean’s body heat and he closed his eyes tightly.  
Dean was fighting back his laugh. His hand reached for opened the fridge, which was behind the Cas. He was just acting before and now he let Cas know that he just came to the fridge, not for him. Cas opened his eyes and saw that Dean grabbed a beer. He pulled back and opened the beer bottle, and then he left the kitchen without giving a single glance at Cas.  
Cas was on fire, he couldn’t able to forget the view which Dean gives to him. And he didn’t know what was that, why the hell Dean acting like that? The only thing Cas knew was Dean looks very hot like that and he wanted to wrap that body around his own. And he wanted to let burn his body along with Dean’s and Dean’s hot lips all over his body. he shook his head with a pain, he can’t, he can’t be like this, think like this, he already promised to himself not to think about Dean like that, he was buried his feeling, at least he thought that he did, but he was wrong, he couldn’t, he has failed to do that, but he has to, he has to stop this. Cas hissed and concentrate back to his cooking.  
**************  
Cas was getting a little break from his work, he got customers in a line and he had to help them by choosing books for them, and helping for select the correct book lines and all the stuff. When it’s getting afternoon customers came less and he got a little free time. but as he remembered that he had to fix some receipts, he collect those from in the file and started to check them, that time he heard the familiar sound of the door open and the bell goes ringing, he didn’t bother to lift his head and he just greeted first.  
“Good afternoon and how can I help you?” Before he lifted his head he heard the voice he never wished to here in this library.  
“Hey, Mr.Librarian” Dean chuckled and greeted.

Cas stared at him for seconds.  
“What are you doing here?” Dean heard Cas’s impatient and confused voice as he grinned widely before he put his both hands on the reception table in front of Cas.  
“What? Oh, that was so mean of you Cas, you must not treat your customers like that, besides, in this case, not treating to your Best friend like that” Cas gritted his teeth.  
“I have clearly told you that don’t dare to do anything to Oliver, couldn’t you...” Cas wasn‘t able to finish as Dean cut him off him.  
“Oh please Cas, I’m not into anything like that, I just came here to see you, and meet your new boss. Just for a little chat, you know, boys talk. Me and him.” Dean grinned again at Cas who huffed at him.  
“Look he is gone out and I Don’t need you to talk with him” Cas’s voice was firm.  
“Huh? You can’t tell me what to do Cas, and it is just a talk I promise you” after he finished saying that he saw a handsome man came behind Cas’s table. After a second he recognizes that it’s the famous Oliver Queen.  
“Is everything alright Castiel?” Oliver gave a confused face to Dean and then gave a charming smile to Cas before put his hand on the Cas’s shoulder. Cas froze and Dean’s eyes went high. Cas barely remembered that he must reply to him.  
“Um, yes, yes everything is all right Oliver” He replied but hasn’t any kind of idea that what he must do next, is he have to introduce Dean, to Oliver or pretends like he is a stranger.  
“Well, it seems like he is not going to introduce me, so in that case, I’m Dean Winchester my self, and you must be Oliver Queen,” Dean said while offering his hand to Oliver as he grabbed Dean’s hand in second.  
“Yes, I am and am I know you, because I couldn’t recognize you, sorry” Oliver shook his hands and then released it.  
Dean felt little embarrassment, but he didn’t show it them and grinned at Cas widely “Ouch Cas, didn’t you tell him about me” He asked from Cas and gave a charming smile to Cas.  
“By the way, I will introduce myself, I’m Cas’s… um… hah” Dean laugh a little and acting like there is something between them, “I’m his, you know” he didn’t complete the sentence as he shrugged his shoulders with a grin.

Oliver’s face darkened within seconds and Cas’s eyes went wide as he barely understood that Dean did something not good. Next second Oliver turned to Cas and gave a mischievous smile to him.  
“Oh is that so CAS? But why didn’t you tell me that you have a boyfriend Castiel”  
He asked.

Cas saw stars at that comment, and he glared at Dean who was chuckling at Oliver.  
“NO! I haven’t a boyfriend Oliver, and this is Dean, I’m staying in his apartment with him and his brother, and that’s it. There is nothing there to mention that” Cas said to Oliver and Oliver’s face lighted by a smile again.  
But Dean’s heart filled with usual pain because Cas defiantly rejecting him in front of this stranger. He felt like, Their 10 years friendship, the bond they build with together all are gone, but he gathered some strength to stay calm.

“Oh Cas, you forget again to tell him the most important thing, Actually Oliver, I’m his Best Friend Forever. And also we share a special profound bond together” Dean said while given a stupid smile to Cas.

“Actually it’s an EX- best friend,” Cas said and glared at Dean again and Dean’s heart got seriously hurt.  
“actually Oliver mistakenly I was just messed with him and now this point he is mad at me so much, so just ignore his angry Angel mood, anyhow I’m his One and Only Best Friend forever ” Dean stated. Cas rolled his eyes but before he rejects It again Oliver started to laugh.  
“Oh my god Castiel you look more gorgeous when you got angry, I didn’t knew that before, and the nickname ‘Cas’ I like it, can I call you by that?” he asked before leaning towards Cas a little bit.  
Son of a bitch, Dean mumbled and felt that he wanted to punch this asshole’s jaw as he flirts with his love, in front of him. He gritted his teeth.  
“Oh, Nah. I don’t think so, I’m the person who came up with that nickname and it’s a thing between best friends, and I think it’s better you call him by his full name as his boss” Dean gave him a face and barely keep himself down for not to kill that bustard.  
“Oh in that case Dean, Me and Castiel are building up a beautiful friendship within us, actually I think it’s not far from the best friend title, and who knows, when looking at the speed we come this far, I can’t promise you that we will become only best friends, but surely, more than the best friends soon” Oliver said before put his arm again around the Cas’s shoulder, surprising both Cas and Dean. He didn’t wait for a reply from both and spoke again.  
“So it’s very nice to meet you Dean, and I hope I will see you again. And Cas I have to get an important call, I will see you too” and with that, he walked towards his office.  
“What the fuck was that Cas, how could he talk to you like that, that asshole is hitting on you like a shit, and you didn’t say a word to stop him and acting like you are also in, what the fuck Cas?”  
Dean yelled but keeping his voice low between them.  
“You asked that from him, not me. Now don’t bother me anymore please, I have to do my job” Cas glared at Dean at the last time and went to the book section. Dean wanted to follow him and grab his hand, slam him to the wall next to him and kiss him so hard until his perfect lips get swollen, in front of the whole library and let people know who is he belongs to, but he kept fighting his feelings and rushed out from the library. He was exhausted with Cas’s rejection, now he got another trouble, that fucking asshole Oliver Queen. Where the hell, he came from. Shit. Dean cursed a lot and drive the baby to a club because he really wanted a drink.  
Dean was burning with jealous, why the fuck Cas let that asshole to flirt with him like that, He asked that himself and finished his second beer.  
“Hey babe, wanna have some fun?” Dean came to earth with the voice he heard as he looked at the girl who leaning to his face, she must have at least couple of shots because she was drunk as hell and seems like Horney as fuck. If this happened before Dean came out, he will defiantly hookup with her but, Nah! Not now, not after his confession to him. He gave a small smile at her and he opened his mouth to say no thank you, but that time he got another crazy idea as he grabbed her waist and pulled her to his lap, she yelped and suddenly she was on Dean’s lap. Dean pulled out his phone, without wasting any second he turned on the camera, the girl eagerly started to lick Dean’s neck as Dean took a selfie. Then he checked it hurriedly. He was in that photo with a huge grin and the girl was busy with his neck. Hah. One hell of powerful revenge photo, he smiled at the photo and shoved the girl from his lap.  
“Hey sweetheart, I think today is not my lucky day, and you are too drunk, you wanna go your home? May I call a cab for ya?” Dean felt a self-proud as the way he talks to that girl. But she glared at him and showed her middle finger to him, then went for her next aim. Dean rolled his eyes and walked out to the club. He got on the Impala and checked the time. Its 6.00 pm. huh perfect time. There is another hour for Cas’s off time as Dean drove the Impala to the bunker. He stopped the car in front of the door and typed a message with a naughty grin on his face.

_**Blue-eyed Angel - Hey Sammy, check this out. Looks like I got a lucky day, man this chick is so fucking awesome. Gonna go with her, not coming for the dinner.** _

 

  
He attached the photo with that text and send it to the Cas’s number. he wanted to inform Cas, that he hooks up with a chick and make him jealous on that, but he also wanted to show that he send it mistakenly to him when he trying to send it to Sam. he grinning at the phone little while and then he grabbed the key to getting out of the car, but he felt the phone is vibrating as he grabbed it with grin. Yes, it’s from Cas. Dean felt his heart also vibrating with happy. He opened the message eagerly.  
_**Sam, I came home earlier today, now I’m exactly in front of the bunker, can you opened the door for me.**_

  
Dean’s mouth hung open and he turned to look at the bunker door. His face turned to red as he saw the Cas glancing at him with a usual glare.  
Dean wanted to Burry himself to the ground, he felt he hit by the same rock which he threw towards the Cas. Shit! he was so stupid, but next second, he started to laugh as he climbed out of the Impala. It’s too funny and to his surprise, he saw a little line of a smile on Cas’s face but suddenly it’s disappeared. Dean came near to the door and opened it then waited for Cas to go inside before rubbing the back of his neck. Cas didn’t even looked at him and rushed inside.

  
Dean knew that Cas had sent the message to Sam as soon as he saw Sam’s bitch face.

  
Cas nodded at Sam. “Hey Sam I will come down, want to get a shower.” then he walked towards his room.

  
“Ah sure thing Cas” Sam smiled at him and waited for Cas leave the war room

  
“What the fuck was that Dean” Sam was so confused.

  
“Ok, I Can explain,” he told the whole story what happened in the library.

  
“So then I wanted to get him jealous, and I sent that photo to him as I mistakenly sent it to him instead of sent it to you. Unfortunately, he came home earlier today and he caught me and did the same trick to me, and he must also forward it to you, isn’t he?” Dean chuckled.

  
”Yes, he did. And man what if he thought that it’s true, and he will go away more from you? you are a quite idiot Dean” Sam said and shook his head.  
Dean didn’t think about that as he closed his eyes tightly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean was in a huge trouble, and he has still not get gut for confess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the late, my friends. my laptop was broken and I was stuck with that. :)  
> and also sorry for the mistakes. have a nice day. <3

Next morning Cas was in the library as usually fixing book racks, because lots of young readers are not careful to put books in the right place after they read it. When Cas ready to climb the small ladder, he got a message from Oliver. That he is waiting for him in his office. Cas put the big book bundle into the cart, which he was holding and wiped his shirt as he felt the dust on it.

  
He was nervous about the message because that morning Oliver has come to him and chatted with him as usual. Now after an hour, he wanted to talk with him. Cas sighed and headed to Oliver’s office room. He slowly knocked the door.

  
“Yes, come in” Cas entered the room as he heard Oliver’s voice.

  
“Oh Cas, it’s you, I’m really sorry, I was so nervous, and completely forgotten that you will come here soon,” Oliver said with a lovely smile before he stands from his seat and walked towards Cas like he goes to welcome him. And Cas didn’t understand that why his boss was nervous to meet him.  
“Um, is there any problem?” Cas asked, giving a questioning look at Oliver.  
Oliver smiled softly at that. “No. no, not a problem Cas, come inside and please sit. I just wanted to talk with you in private “Oliver’s gaze shifted to Cas’s confused face.

  
“Cas, you know, um I don’t want to make this complicated, and don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, so I’m gonna ask this directly. Okay?” Oliver said and Cas gulped and nodded at him giving his permission to him.

  
“Cas I really, really like you, and I wanted to ask you something two weeks ago, but I just thought its better if I get more time for that, but after your friend’s visit yesterday, I decide that I should be hurry before its getting late. Because I’m not a blind man Cas. So…. Cas can I take you to a dinner. Well, I mean, actually I’m asking you out for a date Cas” Oliver gave a hopeful face to Cas.

  
Cas couldn’t believe what is happening as he staring at Oliver like he has no idea what to say. But when Oliver smirked and raised an eyebrow at him like he is waiting for his reply, Cas remembered that he didn’t reply to him. But he has no clue that what he must say to him.  
Cas just eventually remembered, his favorite emerald, green eyes, and freckled face. and he wished if Dean ask him out on a date like this, but with that feeling, his face darken with the detail that Dean will never do that. Cas didn’t want to go on a date with anyone else. He once loved a man and he rejected Cas like a shit, and still, Cas loved him and he can’t stop himself not to love the man. He has a broken heart and he doesn’t want to do anything to hurt his heart again. So he has the answer for that. But he felt nervous.

  
“Oliver, I don’t know what forced you to ask me out for a date, because we met nearly before a month and you even don’t know me very well, also…” he couldn’t able to finish it as Oliver cut him off.

  
“Time is not important to recognize a person Cas, and I have special ability to know about people, so I can see who you are and, I like you a lot, so I really like If you accept my request” Oliver stated with a soft smile.

  
Cas felt very uncomfortable at the moment as he couldn’t find anything to say to Oliver. Actually, he doesn’t want to go with Oliver to a Date. But he doesn’t know how to tell it to him without hurting him because he knew how it’s feeling when you’re heart is broken.

  
Oliver watched carefully Cas’s face and suddenly he put his hand on Cas’s hands which were on the table. Cas gasped and looked at Oliver’s face.

  
“Cas it’s not like I’m forcing you to anything. I’m really like you and clearly, this is not affecting to your job here. Oh and please don’t think that I gave you this job because I liked you. Cas, if I be honest I’m a real selfish man, I mean when you came here first, after my interview I knew you are over qualified for your position, man, even you can apply for a professor exams, I mean you have grate knowledge, and memory, so even I recognize it, I gave you this job, instead of telling you, that you can apply for a better job. and Cas, I was a straight guy, I had lots of girl friends but when I saw you I felt something inside me, I don’t know what it was, but I know I like you, So I’m not forcing you here, but I would really like if you come with me for a date” he said and finally took his hand off Cas’s cold hands.

  
Cas sighed. he still doesn’t want to do this, but he has to answer him.

  
“um Oliver, I really appreciate the things you told about me, but I don’t know what to say, I mean I… I…” before he tells anything else Oliver disturb him again.  
“Hey it’s totally okay you don’t need to answer now, please take time, and give me a good answer, I don’t want to make this awkward to you, feel free. Okay? And remember the answer will never break our friendship, okay?” Oliver gave a heartwarming smile to Cas.  
Cas was helpless and he nodded.

 

 

The whole day Cas was in a deep thought, he was thinking about what to do, am I going to do this? actually, I don’t want a date, I just only wanted to stay away from Dean, so I should tell Oliver that I can’t do this. Finally, he decided like that.  
**********************

Dean was in a fire, he needed a better plan, he needed guts to confess, but he was not ready for it yet. But the only thing he knew was that Cas is going away from him day by day. That thought kills his lot but he was helpless. He wanted his best friend back. He decided that he must talk with Cas soon, this time no anger, no fight, just calmly and lovingly. Of course Lovingly. Dean smirked and headed to Cas’s room.  
Cas came from the library and get a warm shower, put on his favorite comfortable gray T-shirt and baggy sweatpants. He climbed to his bed and pressed his face on the pillow. He sighed heavily. Cas just start to think again about the request of Oliver, when he ask him out he said that he decided to ask this before its getting late, and because of the visit of Dean, and he is not a blind man. But what that’s mean?  
That moment he heard a knock on his door.

  
“Cas… can you please open the door. I really need to talk to you” Dean asked in a soft voice.

  
Cas was in question, now he got another one. Great. He decided to act like he was sleeping because the last thing he wanted to do right now is talk with Dean. There is another knock on the door. Cas closed his eyes tightly.

  
“Cas? Are you sleeping? Or ignoring me as usual?” Dean’s voice was so soft and pleading.

  
“Cas?” Dean knocked once and then there is a huge quietness outside of the room.

  
Cas quietly listened, to catch any sound if came out there. But he couldn’t hear anything, so he guessed that Dean must be gone, but next seconded the door opened slowly as Cas cursed himself to not locked it before. He couldn’t do anything than pretending as he was sleeping.  
Dean slowly opened the door and walked towards the bed, Cas can hear Dean’s footsteps clearly. Cas tightened his eyes more. Now Dean must be very close to the bed and must be staring at Cas. Because now there is no sound of footsteps and Cas can feel the heat of the Deans eyes on his face. Cas barely breathing as he is very weak at acting.

 

 

  
Actually, Dean was staring at Cas, at his beautiful Angel, his best friend, his Love. Dean’s face was filled with a soft smile. Dean stayed like that for few minutes then he sighed. Cas heard that and he wanted to look at the man standing in front of his bed and definitely staring at him.

 

Next second Cas felt his blanket on his body. Yes, Dean got Cas’s bed sheet and covered him with it warmly.

  
Dean wished if he could be laid next to Cas and hold him to his chest tightly. Pressing soft kisses all over the back of Cas’s neck. And maybe he can tickle Cas too, then Cas will giggle and will beg to stop, Dean was lost in his dreams in minutes. But suddenly he came back to reality and he sighed. He really missed Cas and the days they bind with that binding spell. Before he knew what he is doing Dean’s hand curled into Cas’s dark blocks and slowly caressed.

  
Cas’s heart skipped it beats and Cas wanted to scream and shove Dean away from him and the same time he wanted to melt into the touch. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t do both of the things right now, so he patience while his heart breaks to pieces with Dean’s touch.

  
Why is he doing this to me? if Dean hates me so much why is he kept coming to me, why is he acting like super weird, why is he acting like he cares about me, and God why is he kissed me few times like that before? Cas questioned himself and he felt little anger.

 

Dean’s fingers kept ran through Cas’s soft hair for another few minutes and suddenly it stopped, Cas barely hold his sigh of relief. But then he froze because of the next thing he felt as Dean’s hot breath hit on Cas’s left cheek.

  
Cas didn’t move for a bit because he is kind of numb of his body, is he… is he going to do it again? Cas shivered with that thought and with that he felt Dean’s hot perfect lips pressed onto his cheek sweetly.

 

 

 

  
“Good night Angel”

  
Cas heard that Dean wisped and then his footstep sound to the door, also the sound of door closing.  
Cas slowly opened his eyes. He couldn’t take this anymore. Why is Dean doing this to me? Why he did not let me go or leave me alone, what’s he wants from me? I have nothing left to give him any more, he felt the tears are flowing from his eyes and didn’t bother to wipe those because there is no one here to see them so he stayed like that with a huge pain in his heart. He can’t deal with this anymore he has to do something quickly.

  
suddenly he remember Oliver’s proposal, Cas started to think deeply, the reason he wanted to go for a job was to go away from Dean, so if he accepts Oliver’s date request may be, maybe it will help him to forget about Dean, the love of his life, he didn’t sure but he can try, he didn’t need any kind of relationship with anyone else, but he can deal with how he going to confess it to Oliver and apologize him later, but now he has to be selfish and get rid of the love he felt about Dean, from those strong and deep feelings about Dean. So he gonna accept Oliver’s date night. With that thought, he felt sleep soon.

 

******************  
“Dean… Dean. Wake up man” Dean Jump out to Sam’s sound and the huge knock on the door. And he grabbed his gun but he groaned when he heard Sam’s voice and glared at the door. he rubbed his eyes and yanked lazily.

  
“Whaaat bitch? Why the hell are you screaming in the morning?” Dean yelling back and walked to the door for open it.

  
“What? Huh? Can’t you wait for my slow rice and shying things from my beauty sleep?” Dean groaned.  
Sam rolled his eyes and glared back at his big brother.

  
“Yeah? Okay then go back to your beauty sleep meanwhile you lost your love” Sam said it with a low voice.  
“What the fuck Sam? What did you mean by that?”

  
Suddenly Dean’s sleepy mood is gone and he was fully wake up.  
“That Cas’s boss, Oliver has to ask Cas out for a date and Cas decides to accept that. So today they gonna go for it.” Sam said with a sad voice because he felt pity for his brother.

“WHAT? What the hell? How do you know that? Now, where is Cas?”

  
Dean pushed Sam away and started to run towards the Cas’s room. But he stopped by Sam’s voice.

  
“Dean, Cas is gone already” Sam called out. Dean slowly turned to Sam and came to him. He wiped his face with his hand.  
“Tell me, Sam, how did you know this?” Dean demanded.

  
“Cas came to me in the morning before he going to the library and he told me that Oliver ask him out for a date and he kept thinking about it. Then finally he decides to say yes. Dean, I tried to convince him that he must think about it more, and then you got time to do something about this, but I’m sorry man, I failed to change his mind. then he told me that they gonna make it today. So as soon as he went, I came to tell you about this” Sam’s voice was like guilty. Dean ran his fingers through his hair.

  
“No Sammy, you don’t have to do anything about this man, I have to do something about this, damn this fucker, Oliver, I swear to chuck I’m gonna kill him” Dean gritted his teeth and said.

  
“Whoa Dean Calm down okay, look, do anything but you can’t murder a human bean okay? And I’m pretty sure that he is a human” Sam said with firm voice because he didn’t want to see his brother stuck with trouble again.

  
Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah I know man,” he said and started to think what he was gonna do now.

  
Actually, it's not a big deal, it just a fucking date, there is nothing to worry about, maybe Cas will be fed up with that Queen guy after that night and then he will also quite from his job. Dean beamed with that thought. But, but what if, the date went success and Cas find kind of attraction about him and then what if they kept dating. No, no, no this is not good. god, Cas already acting like Oliver is the god. Shit, what I’m gonna do with this bag of dicks.

  
*************  
Cas was in his thoughts, that how is he going to tell Oliver that he likes to go with him out.

  
“Ahem,” Cas gasped with that sound and turn to look who is that.

  
Yes, it’s Oliver, ofcause, who else. Oliver chuckled when he sees the way Cas gasped.

  
“Good morning gorgeous” now Oliver flirt with Cas openly as he already asked him out, Cas felt his cheeks painted with a little awkward blush. Damn human hormones.

 

 

  
“Um good morning Oliver” Cas barely said and smiled lightly.

  
“So, how’s going? Is everything all right, because you just seem like in a problem.” Oliver said with a questioning look.

  
“Um actually I thought about the thing you ask yesterday,” Cas said slowly.

  
“Oh, Cas, look please don’t rush on it, there is no hurry, take your time, I wanted you to know that I care about you in that way. So now you know that and you can think slowly, no rush, no push, and no force. Okay?”

  
Cas personally respect this man for all of this calmly talk.

  
“Thank you, Oliver, but actually I have already think about it and I like to go with you” finally Cas said it and Oliver’s face lighten with a huge smile.  
“Wow, really? Thank you, Cas. I’m so happy, just wow,” Oliver beamed.

  
“Cas, can we decide that when? I mean I really like to go today but if you uncomfortable with that… ” Cas cut off Oliver.

  
“No actually I ‘m comfortable with that, if be honest I’m also gonna tell you that we can do today because I already bought clothes then I don’t need to go home and we can go from here,” Cas said.

  
Actually, he brought his white button-down shirt with him when he came in the morning. Because that morning he felt huge nervous and he wanted to talk with some one, but he can’t talk with his best friend, so he went to his other best friend Sam, ofcourse he said all and suddenly Sam tried to tell him that he should wait some time, before saying yes to the date, because we don’t know about this Oliver guy, so Cas’s heart also start to say the same thing and then he scared a lot because he doesn’t care who is Oliver is, Cas just need a cover for hiding his Love for Dean, to forget that Love, so he couldn’t lose this chance, then he decided that moment that he must go for it today. Before he changes his mind. So that’s why he also brought his clothes.  
“Wow Cas, it is a super idea, and that’s mean you like me too, right? Huh?” Oliver said while leaned to Cas little bit.

  
“Oh Oliver, I… I” Cas got confused and he doesn’t know what to say to the Oliver.

  
“Hey I’m just kidding Cas” Oliver chuckled. “So then I will see you soon at 6.10 at the car park okay is that good with you?” Oliver asked.  
“Um yes, yes Oliver it’s good,” Cas said quickly.

  
“Okay, then I will meet you soon.” Oliver gave so loving smile to Cas and then he headed to his office.  
*********  
Dean was thinking, thinking, thinking but he doesn’t get any kind of idea, so he started the easiest work to him as he parked the baby outside in a club. Soon he ended up with two beers. He doesn’t want to drunk so he only got beers. But with deep he goes with his mind he never counted the beers he drank, soon he ended up drunk and then he dropped on the table and fell asleep.

  
*********

  
Cas finished his all works when it's 5.55 and got his bag. He went to the library washroom and started unbuttoning his shirt. Suddenly his phone started to ring and he pulled it from his pocket and checked the caller ID. It was Dean. After their fight, Cas used to ignore all Dean’s calls and messages. He never answers them and never text back. Just ignore them with a sigh. Today is same, so he put it back to his pocket, but after second its start to ring again, but Cas knew it was Dean, so he didn’t bother to pick it up.

  
After remove his shirt he put on his white button down, suddenly he remembered that day, the day, that he was a new human and worked in a Gas n sip, and he misunderstands his boss’s request and thought it was a date, and Dean help him to make his clothes better, but however it ended up with a disaster. And also he remembered the way Dean looked at him that day when he unbuttons his shirt. He hissed at the thought and close his eye for a while.

  
Then he left his messy hair as same because he hasn’t a comb and also he never combs it before. He doesn’t need to watch himself in the mirror, because he doesn’t want to impress Oliver, this is just some kind of act. He feels kind of bad about Oliver but he can make it to him later.

  
Then the phone started to ring again as Cas rolled his eyes. Normally when Dean starts to call him, he only ran two or tree time, but today he ranged at least ten times now, Cas doesn’t want to even check how many missed calls there, So Cas check the library clock and it’s already 6.05 and library also closing now. He said their good nights to his co-workers and headed to the car park. He felt huge nervous as he slowly walked to Oliver’s car. But suddenly his phone started to ring again and Cas put it to silent and put it back to his pocket.

  
************

  
**“Cas I need you, babe, can I kiss you”** Oliver murmured.

  
**“Yes, yes please kiss me Oliver”** Cas’s voice so sexy and Oliver leaned down and kissed Cas’s plump lips so hard.

  
“Noooo” Dean waked up with a scream and he was shivering with anger. He also served with few annoyed glances from the people who were near him. Anyhow after seconds, he recognized that he was dreaming and it's not happening real as also he can understand that he has passed out on the bar table. Then he remembered it.

 

 

  
“Shit, no, no, no I supposed to make a plan not sleeping in drunk, son of a bitch”  
He glanced at his watch and his throat gone dry.

  
“Holy Fuck its 5.55 Cas’s library closing at 6.00 and they must be already gone for that damn date. No, no I’m a real idiot shit, what I’m gonna do now” he couldn’t think about anything as he pulled his phone and dial to Cas

.  
“Please, please Cas pick up, pick up” he chanted repeatedly but Cas didn’t pick up, as usual, he tried again and Cas didn’t pick up it.

  
“Fuck” Dean shoved phone into the pocket and ran to his Impala. He pulled out it and drove towards the library. And also he repeatedly called to Cas.

  
*************

  
Cas was so upset with his dress code because Oliver was shining as always.

  
“Oliver, actually, I have never been on a date and I have no idea that how should I dress, so my apologies, because I also haven’t lots of fancy clothes, so I just thought this…” Cas was in the middle of his apology and suddenly Oliver leaned to him and pressed a soft kiss on Cas’s cheek. Cas eyes went wide and he really is surprised with that.

  
“Cas, you are wonderful as always and it doesn’t matter which cloth you wore, anything is better with you, and I think this is the perfect time to say that, Cas you a so beautiful, so handsome. I wanted to tell it to you always so here am I, saying it to you" Oliver said and chuckled.

  
Cas couldn’t help and blushed as his cheeks turned to pink. “Oh, um thank you I guess, and you too Oliver,” he said, he felt his phone is vibrating inside his pocket nonstop.

  
***********

Dean kept calling Cas because he wanted to stop Cas. he can’t get a risk, but he also not sure what is he going to tell Cas if he answers the phone but he can beg him to come back to the bunker and not go to that damn date with that douche bag. He checked the time it's 6.10.

  
“Shit, shit answers the damn phone Cas” then he got that crazy idea, he was on the road with the baby and also in high speed, he immediately stop the car and start to type a message to Cas. Because he knew Cas never gonna listen to the voicemail. And then he called him again.

  
************

  
“Come Cas lets go” Oliver opened the car door for Cas and sign him to sit, with a huge grin. Cas thanked him. After both of them settled in the car, Oliver looked at him.

  
“You ready Cas?” He asked.

  
Cas just going to say yes, but he felt his phone is vibrating. This time he felt little strange because Dean has never done this before, he got kind of fear and immediately pulled his phone and unlock the phone. And his eyes went wide as soon as he saw the missed calls amount. There are 71 missed calls and one text, all from Dean, Cas didn’t waste another minute and opened the text. He felt his heart started to pound hard.

  
“Cas? Is everything alright? Oliver asked with confused voice” but Cas didn’t answer.

  
“Cas?” Oliver touched Cas’s shoulder this time. But Cas only stared at the phone for seconds. Then he opened the car door and jumped out, he barely said some apologies to Oliver and started to run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and Comments are sounds lovely. <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean crossed his line and Castiel is done with him, Dean gonna lost his Love, will he save it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so hello friends :D i felt bad about Chapter 09 because i didn't add any pictures to it. so i edit it and add some pics to it, if you want you can check them. lol. :p
> 
> oh and check the Dean's phone photo in this chapter, lol I made it and i love it. hah ha.
> 
> and sorry for the mistakes, i really need a beta. i'm gonna find one soon.  
> so have a nice day.

Cas didn’t know how he got in to the cab, he felt his heart pounding so hard as he looked at his phone again and read the message again and again like he tried to understand what it said exactly. He cursed himself for not responding earlier to Dean’s calls, and also not been an Angel anymore.

“Please hurry up, this is an emergency,” Cas said to the cab driver and then he found himself reading the message again.

 

**No One: Cas please, Sam got injured badly, I don’t know what to do, he is not breathing. I’m losing him again. Please help. We are in the bunker.**

 

  
Cas’s heart gone numb again, Sam is his other best friend. He needed to protect him too. But what the hell actually happened to him, they are not even going to hunt these days. Shit is that Lucifer, oh No.

  
Cas even doesn’t know how he going to heal Sam without his grace, even though he wanted to be there, maybe he could find anything from the books, or maybe, maybe he can find anything that could help Sam to get better again, or they can bring him to the hospital. With that he remembered that he didn’t know what had happened there, what happened to Sam, he only got a text from Dean. But he can call him, yes he can. And then he can know what’s going on there. Before his mind gets the change he found himself dialing Dean’s number.

 

  
***************

suddenly his phone started to ring as he immediately pulled it out from his pocket.

 

 

  
“YES, Awesome” he beamed and bumped with happiness when he saw the caller id on the screen. He fist on the air.

  
“ **Blue-eyed Angel!** Hmmm finally, yes finally you are calling me Cas. After a long time, fuck I missed this” Dean talked to himself, grinning at the photo of the phone screen. He had put a Cas’ photo to his phone book under Blue eyed Angel. That photo is Dean’s personal favorite one. It was taken by Dean when they three were in a middle of a heated argument about a hunting case.

  
He barely remembered that he was driving, so he stopped the car because seems like his trick is working.

  
“Hah, haa” Dean giggled and smiled with the phone.

  
Okay, it's show time. He cleared his throat and make a sad and scared face like Cas can see him, even its not a video call. Then he answered the call.

  
“Dean, Dean please tell me he is not gone. Tell me what’s going on, is he breathing now? Dean, answer me.” Cas was impatience.  
Dean rolled his eyes before answer.

  
“Thanks, Chuck you called, Cas where are you? Are you in the library, you didn’t go to that date, right? Dean’s tone was scared but he asked the wrong question with the wrong attitude. Shit, what am I doing? ahh, Dean understood he screwed up the second he asked that.

  
“Dean, what are you talking about? Just tell me how is Sam now? Is he breathing now?” Cas’s voice is angry now, and Dean signed as Cas didn’t suspect him.

  
“Oh yes, yes Cas he is breathing now, but please come soon I don’t know what to do Cas, I’m so scared, I’m, I’m just, Cas I need you to be here with me right now” Dean’s voice was sad and panic. Dean got little scared that when he says Sam is berthing Cas will not come and continue his Date back.

  
“Um Dean, look, don’t get down, just tell me what’s happened to him, is that Lucifer? Tell me exactly that what is wrong with Sam, which part did he get injured in his body? Is he bleeding? Don’t you think that we must bring him to the hospital?” Cas felt huge fear inside him as he can feel his voice is shivering.

Dean chocked when he heard Cas’s question, because he never thought about it that much, any lie about the reason Sam get injured, or how it happened.

  
“Dean, are you still here?” Dean heard Cas’s impatiens voice as he cleared his throat again,

  
“No it’s not Lucifer, Cas I don’t know how to explain it. Please, you should come soon, may I come to pick you up.” Dean wanted to get Cas to himself immediately before that Queen do something. Cas’s eyes went wide with that.

  
“What? Dean are you insane. You are supposed to find a way to heal him, I, I can’t even believe that you asked like that. No, you don’t want to do that because I’m already on my way to the bunker, I’m in a cab, and I will be there soon” Cas said it and cut the call.

  
Dean saw stars as Cas said that he is on the way, Dean’s plan was going to the library and pick Cas after telling everything to Sam and after making a quick plan. But now Cas is going himself and Dean didn’t inform Sam about this drama, even he didn’t know that how Sam will respond to it. With that, he called to Sam without waiting for any second. But as Dean’s bad time, Sam didn’t answer.

  
“Son of a bitch, everything was on the plan, don’t ruin it, man, uh Sammy pick the damn phone” Dean tried again but luck was not with him as Sam didn’t pick it.  
Dean cursed and got the Impala to the road again and drove to the bunker with high speed again.

 

  
************

Sam was in the bunker library finding books written about gates to an alternative universe, and to the other worlds, but without his knowing he fell asleep on the table. But after an hour he started to slowly wake up because it’s hurting his arm, coursing the awkward angle he passing out.

  
He rubbed his aching arm and then he glanced at his phone. He took his phone and unlocked it to check if he got any calls. “Holly crap, Dean going to kill me”  
Sam hummed when he saw the 10 missed calls from his brother and hurriedly dialed to Dean.

  
Before it’s gone three rings bunker door swing opened and Sam saw the angry face of Dean.

 

 

 

  
“Oh Dean, sorry I was sleeping, what happened. Is everything is allr..” Sam asked innocently but Dean cut of him.

  
“No Sam, nothing is alright here. Okay here is the deal, now anytime Cas will be stormed into here, because I told him that you are injured very badly as I haven’t had any choice man, so now you have to pretend like that Sammy”

  
The second Dean finish saying it, the bunker door swing opened again and Dean felt his heartbeat stopped for second and he mentally hit himself for not locked the bunker door behind him. because if he did it before he will get another few minutes to talk with Sam about the lie they gonna tell to Cas, but now they even didn’t know what they gonna say to him.

  
And both of them was in the middle of the war room and Sam was standing like a kid who caught to his momma when he stole cookies from the counter. Dean quickly shook his head to the game and pushed Sam to the nearest chair and glared at him.  
“Sam, Sam please tell me that you are okay? Hey” Cas’s face was horrible as he was in huge fear, he really shocked because Sam is family and as a human, he knew he can’t get rid of the pain if Something happened to Sam. He is one of his best friend, a brother. And hell, he knew if something happened to him Dean will be a doom too, Cas really can’t go through anything like that again.

  
Cas rushed to the Sam and suddenly his eyes went round and he carefully put a hand on Sam’s shoulder.  
“Oh Sam, you look not bad as I thought you will be, that’s really good. Please tell me what happened, where you got injured? Show me” Cas asked hurried and went to his knee in front of Sam’s chair and pulled Sam’s face with his both hands, making both Sam and Dean surprise.

  
Cas gave a very close and careful check on Sam’s whole face and then put his back of the hand under Sam’s neck, then on his forehead. Then Cas dragged Sam’s under eye side skin to check his eyes. Next moment,

  
“Sam, show your tongue” Cas demanded and Sam did so and glance at Dean and gave a bitch face to him without showing to Cas as Sam saw the jealous face of Dean. Cas stand on his feet and looked directly at Sam’s eyes.

  
“Sam you physically seem fine with my knowledge, oh please why don’t you tell anything, please tell me what happened.”

  
Sam gulped and looked at Dean. Cas raised a brow and looked at both brothers back and forth.

 

 

 

  
“Saaam! ”

  
Cas’s voice now sounds like pissed.

  
“Sam I asked you something? Where did you get injured?”

  
Cas asked carefully looking at Sam’s face.

  
“Um.Um. My arm?”, “his heart”

  
Both Sam and Dean answered together, Sam’s answer did not sound like as an answer, it's most like a question, Cas’s eyes widened as both answers are completely different answers.

  
“What?” Cas asked with his head tilted, what he doing he got confused. And Dean gulped but he just staring at Cas because he always found so cute of Cas when he does that head tilt thing. But he remembered that he also had to fix the messy answers which they have to give Cas, as Sam gave him a bitch face.

 

 

 

  
“Um, Cas we mean, everywhere. He told me that it’s hurting everywhere in his body. ” Dean said while rubbing back of his neck.

  
“Okay, then when it’s started Sam,” Cas asked with not believing tone, crossing his arms over his chest. He can understand that something happening here and even Sam hadn’t got any injured.

  
“Um just now?”, “before an hour” again both brothers answered and Dean shut his eyes. Sam gulped and glanced at Dean and Dean glared at him with a face like shut your mouth Sammy. 

  
Cas was really losing his patience with both brothers as he gritted his teeth and rose one of his eyebrow.

 

 

 

“Ah right. Well, that makes real sense, so can I know exactly where you got injured, Sam? ” Cas demanded and Sam felt huge embarrassment, he didn’t want to hurt Cas, but now he sure that Cas feel very upset because they had played with his feelings because Cas’s expressions turned to hurt. But he also can’t ruin Dean’s plan.

  
“Cas, look I ah, um, you know I got some kind of pain, um and, here Dean, um you know he got afraid and always be overacting, so he must be bothering you with it, but right now I feel better, I’m really fine now” Sam said with a grin on his face.

  
Dean also started to grin at Cas and when Cas glared at him Dean made the most innocent face of him to Cas and blink few times at him like a newborn baby.  
“oh really Sam, you know your brother must be really overacting because I almost lost my mind with the text he sends to me and I even didn’t bother to excuse to my date about my extremely not cool run away. Shit, did you even bother to think how much will I scared when I get that text? And here, you can check on your self”

  
Cas was beyond the anger as he shoved his phone into Sam’s hand. When Sam gets it to his hand, Dean also put his head to look at the phone, he wanted to see that which kind of name Cas have saved under his number. His face goes darker when he saw that two short words in front his own message.

  
“ **No One**? Really Cas? Am I no one to you now? ” Dean just forgot about all the situation and he wanted to argue with Cas about that. But seems like Cas has another idea.

  
“Shut up Dean, I don’t know what kind of game both of you playing with me, but whatever it is you can’t just play with me like this, you can’t take my life as a joke like this, I’m not a puppet who should dance on your thread, and Sam you know when I called your brother he asked me that did I went to my date yet, I said about that only to you and I can understand that you have been really bothering to break my trust and you have to tell it to your brother ” Cas hisses as he felt really sad and bad about him self”

 

  
“Cas, I” Sam started to say something but he didn’t know what to say and Cas cut off him.  
“No Sam, don’t say anything, I don’t know how you both thought that I can’t see that Sam is not got any injured or not have been, I’m really glad about that though. Also, I had a little suspect about your brother’s behavior and about his questions. And why the hell you did something like this? Oh, wait… is this, is this all about stopping my date? Dammit, why? Just why Sam?”

  
“Cas, please just listen, I’m truly sorry, I really didn’t want to hurt you, or destroy your date, but I have to admit that I don’t like the idea that you date with him, but it's my personal opinion and I don’t wanna stop you, or upset you. But Cas...” Sam glanced at Dean once,  
“But Cas I really have to admit this drama and that because, because…”  
Sam again looked at Dean and gave him a sad face.

  
“Sam, I got it, I will explain it to him. Cas, Sam is innocent in this case, I did this and please let me explain it to you” suddenly Dean said and he sigh.

  
“Thank you, Dean, I guess, and Cas I’m really, really sorry, and also I hope both you will settle this all soon,” Sam said and rushed out of the war room.

Cas didn’t look at Dean, only glanced at the floor. Dean sighed and put a step toward Cas. He bit his own lip, as he can’t understand what to say, or where to start, but he knew one thing, this is his last chance to confess about his love to Cas, he has to do this, Yes I can, he thought and closed his eye for a second.

  
“Cas, first of all, I’m so sorry for making you scared and for lying to you” Cas didn’t raise his head only listen to Dean.

  
“Yes Cas, you are correct, I wanted to stop your date. But I knew you will never going to listen to me, so that’s the only idea I got. So I had to do this, I ‘m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you or hurt you.” Dean’s voice mixed with kind of regret.

  
“Huh. And why the hell you think that I should not go to that date, and of course its not your business to poke into my life, I do what I want to do, and I go where I want to go, with the person I want to be with, its none of your business to get decisions for me” Cas yelling without even stop for breathing.

  
“Cas, C'mon, just think you have got attacked by lots of time after your fall and after became a human, lots of times, last time you got damage heavily. all because you trusted wrong people and been a most huge stubborn man in the earth, you never listen to me and keep ignoring me, that’s why you got all those troubles, and now you believe these queen guy and you barely know the man about one month. But here you are ready to go a date with him already, Cas, just think, this is not you Cas." Dean was not lying, he also wanted to stop Cas because he never trusted that queen guy.

  
“Excuse me? Keep ignoring you? Really? Am I the person ignored you here? That time I was totally helpless, I was so weak, I have lost everything, and I wanted you, Dean Winchester, I wanted my best friend so much. I begged you not to push me away, I was about to sell my soul to get attention from you, to get your protection, to be your family, but what did you give me for the return, nothing Dean, nothing, you are the person who ignored me, you pushed me away from you, you didn’t want me to be around you, you shouted at me without any reason, you blamed me, you told that I destroyed your life, you shamed to be with me, you hated me, you even, yo, you even called me a whore...” suddenly Cas sucked the next word he was going to say and then he understood that he was crying. He wiped the tears from his cheeks.

 

 

  
“you clearly hated me, so I did the best and go away from you as you wish, but you torturing me by keeping me around you, and yes this is not me, yes and do you know why is that, because I’m so isolated Dean, so alone, and I have never been liked by anyone and never been loved by anyone. Before I was an Angel, a soldier so I don’t needed them, but now I’m a goddamn human, filled with human hormones and human feelings. Now I can feel the feelings Dean, I have a human heart which made by blood and meat, run by oxygen, and I defiantly need to be cared, a family, a friend, someone to hold me when I feel alone, anyone to hold my hand when I feel sad, a shoulder when I want to cry, but I haven’t Dean, I don’t have anything. the man I most trusted, the person I cared as my best friend, its you… you pushed me away, so what I should do Dean, I didn’t blame you. I just quit, I just found a job myself and started a new life like an orphan, and in the first time in my life someone started to think about me, someone started to care about me, I felt cared, I felt been liked by someone, he even choose me to date, and he kept telling me that how wonderful am I, how much he likes to be around me. So I never experience something like that, no one liked me before, just every one hated me, Dean, everyone left me after there work done, I don’t know this is also gonna ended like that, but I don’t care about it anymore Dean, because there is no way to break my heart now, I keep fighting to make my heart feel less, I just want to forget everything happened to my whole past life. I will just live like this until my father took me back to him, until my life end” Cas was sobbing now and his eyes was red and he hisses also kept wiping his tears.

 

  
Dean felt he punched in his face on Cas’s confess. He wanted to scream and cry like a crazy.

 

  
“No Cas, that’s not true, we like you, Sam, Me, we lik… ” Dean unable to complete it as he cut off by Cas.

  
Cas gave a bitter smile at Dean. “Don’t Dean, don’t pretend, I know Sam always been kind to me, but you don’t need to pretend Dean, you don’t need to try to act or prove me that you are sorry about all, I ‘m not an idiot after all, just became a human. and now you started to involved to my private life and destroyed my date, you don’t have any kind of right to involved to my life, this is my life and I’m going to do whatever I want to do with it, I don’t care if it will hurt me or kill me, and of cause when you called me a whore I was not a one, but now I’m gonna be one and then it will match to my dumb life”

  
Tears were flooding on Cas’s face and he was shivering with both pain and anger. He just turned and about to go to his room, Dean grabbed his hand and pulled him to the chest, and hugged him so tightly. Cas gasped and after a second he was wrapped in Dean’s strong hands.

 

“Cas no, no, please, you are not a whore, you are my Cas, my best friend, my...my… ah Cas I’m not pretending, I’m not acting, I just I really sorry for ignoring you. I never mean to do anything I did to you, I just… there is another reason, for I don’t need you to date that Queen guy, Cas, that is… that I’m…. Cas I…” Dean was crying too and pleading he was started to confess but as always he stuck with the words.  
And Cas was in pain, angry and exhausted with everything. Cas fluttered with the anger and started to squirm over Dean’s chest to push him away, but he felt Dean was so strong than him.

  
“Let go bustard, ah leave me.” Cas frantically shove Dean with his full strength and Dean’s grip loosened a bit and Cas get off from him.  
Cas glance at Dean and gave a death glare.

  
“That’s it, all done, I’m done with all the bull shits in here, tomorrow I’m going to leave the bunker, I just leave here and don’t you dare to stop me, if you even try to stop me again I swear I gonna end this fucking life of mine, and remember I’m gonna date Oliver too. Also, I want you to know that you are not my best friend or even a friend. **Dean Winchester, You, Just Back, Off, My. Life. because I HATE YOU SO MUCH** ,” Cas said it while sobbing and rushed to his room and slammed the door.

  
Dean just stayed there as he frozen, seconds later he was screamed, screamed like he was a demon. Screamed like when he was in the hell. He fell to his knees and covered his face with both hands. And he was sobbing.  
I failed again, Castiel is hating me so much. I will never get my best friend ever again, I’m not gonna get my love back, I’m lost, I lost Castiel, I lost the Love of my life.

 

 

  
Cas didn’t know how many hours he was laid in his bed sobbing, he slowly stands up from his bed and get his phone, he cursed to human hormone as he checked the time he has been there almost a two hours, he doesn’t want to cry, but damn he felt so sad and tears kept falling.  
There are few missed calls from Oliver, Cas wanted to apologize, Oliver,, but he doesn’t know what to say him, what if he pissed with me, what if he doesn’t want to talk with me anymore, fine its okay, I don’t care for anything, I have done something wrong to him so I have to apologize for that, and that’s it.  
Cas felt something familiar smell from himself, he immediately sniffed his shirt,

  
Dean! 

  
He smells like Dean. yes, of course, it's not a wonder, that asshole had crushed me earlier just for a show, huh.

  
Cas got angry and he went to the bathroom and remove all his clothes like crazy man, and then he got a nice and long bath. Finally, he satisfied as he sniffed himself and its smell like his grapefruit shampoo.

  
He put a simple and soft t-shirt and sweet pant then he dialed Oliver’s number. He hissed as he remembered the previous fight with Dean. For Cas’s surprise, Oliver picked the call with the first ring.

  
Oliver: “Hey, are you okay Cas? What’s happened, you scared me so much”

  
Cas: “Um, I’m so sorry Oliver, yes I’m fine, I’m so rude to you I didn’t even tell you what’s going on, I’m really sorry. Actually one of my friend got some kind of accident and I got the text and I don’t know what happened to me.”

  
Oliver: “Hey, hey its okay, don’t worry, so how is he now. Is that Dean?”

  
With mention of that name, Cas hissed again.

  
Cas: “No, it's his brother, now he is okay. Thanks for asking Oliver”

  
Oliver chuckled little.

  
Oliver: “No problem Cas, hey its good to know that, the way you care about your loving ones, so cute of you” he chuckled again. Cas felt little relief but he did not want to smile to that.

 

Cas: “Um Oliver so you still want to date me?”

  
Oliver: “What are you asking? Yes, of course, I need to. And, how about tomorrow? the same time and the same way. Do you comfortable with that.”

  
Cas: "yes Oliver that’s okay with me, um Oliver, thank you by the way. And I will see you tomorrow.”

  
Oliver: “you don’t need to thank me Cas, okay babe see you tomorrow, can’ wait, good night Cas”

  
Cas shivered with the word “babe”, he remembered the way once Dean called him with that name in the hospital.

  
Cas: “good night Oliver.”

  
Cas put his phone on the bed and started to gather his things because this is the last day he spends in the bunker. There are no lots of Cas’s things here, only a few things. Cas gasped when he found the Mix Tape Dean gave him, it was his first gift and he loved it more than anything. He glanced at it for few minutes as he couldn’t decide that if he going to leave it or take it with him, then he decided he will definitely leave it, he put it carefully on the table, and staring at it with teary eyes, next second he found himself crying again on the bed and cursing human hormones .

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so what you think?  
> i really love all the Kudos and comments <3 <3  
> see you soon.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver been an asshole, and will Dean say it to Cas? will Cas accept him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late, i got lots of trouble and still working on those. so sorry again and enjoy the chapter. its maybe cheesy but that's what i wanted to write.  
> sorry for the mistakes.  
> so have a great day friends. <3

“Hey beautiful, Good Morning” Oliver Greeted to Cas next morning and Cas gave a sad smile to Oliver.

  
“Good Morning Oliver, actually I have to tell you something,” Cas said and looked down at his own hands.

  
Cas was Oliver’s office, he wanted to meet Oliver and talk with him before he starts his work, so now he was in front of Oliver’s office table. Oliver’s face got into the dark, but he managed to wipe it within a second and smiled at Cas.

  
“Yes, of course, Cas, you can talk with me anything at any time, please have a seat and lets talk”

  
Cas sit in front of Oliver, then he sighed and looked at Oliver.

  
“I’m so sorry Oliver, but I can’t do this, I can’t go to that date with you, I really apologies you and it’s okay if you don’t need me to come here again, I will resign if you want,” Cas said without break.

  
“Whoa, whoa Cas, just calm down, okay? It’s okay. It’s fine. But can I know the reason? I mean did I do something wrong or am I too much forward?” Oliver asked with a low voice.

  
“No Oliver. You didn’t do anything wrong. But I did. I didn’t be honest with you. I mean I don’t want to cheat on anyone, Oliver I’m in Love with someone else. Please don’t ask that who he is. But it’s so wrong if I go on a date with you when I Love to someone else. It’s not right.” Cas replied in a sad tone. He expected that Oliver will piss at him, but he just smiled at him.

  
“Cas, look at me, did you think that I don’t know that, I knew it Cas, but you know, I also knew something else, that you wanted to forget that person, right? So the best cure for that is, you should find anyone better than them, for that you should at least accept dates sometimes, then you can move on your life, so it’s not a wrong thing Cas, believe me” Oliver said.

  
Cas tilted his head “But how did you know that?” He was so confused.

  
Oliver chuckled. “Cas, Cas, Cas I told you before I’m not a blind man, and besides I always gave special attention to you,” he said it and wink at Cas.  
“So you don’t mind about that,” Cas asked.

  
“Of course not, and we gonna make it just as the same time we planed it before,” Oliver said with a determined sound.

 

**************  
“You know what Sam, I was scared,” Dean said and got another sip from his beer. Both brothers were in the Cas’s room. Dean was on the bed. Sam was sitting in the nearest chair.

 

  
“I was too scared Sam, I don’t need to believe that I’m a bi, and I was fucking scared if I start a relationship with him it will be dangerous for him and I will lose him again. I was broken and so empty inside, but when Cas comes to me I feel like, like I’m completed with him, and you were right Sam he makes me so happy, I will always happy when he around me, most of the time I didn’t show it, but I really miss when he goes away from me. I don’t want to lose him again. But I screwed up.” he finished his beer and said.

  
“You know man, I don’t know what to say, I mean, if we said it with Cas’s own words, Cas’s People Skills are rusty. he saw the way you treat him, he felt it, now he can’t forget it, he is not like us, he is very new to all these people’s shits, emotions, so I believe he is on his own fight to forget all those shitty things you said to him, the way you cut him off. He must be thinking that you hate him. In this case, I can’t blame both of you, Dean.” Sam was too upset about his brother and best friend.

 

  
“I know Sammy, I know. But now he hates me so much. but I can live with it because he is still alive, that’s the only thing I care about, I mean that Queen lover boy seems like he cares a lot about Cas, that’s okay if it makes Cas happy, I want him to be happy. That’s all I need. I know that I don’t deserve Cas, no he is so precious for me. And I know all the people around me never been happy and never ended with happy, so it's better he goes away from my cursed life” Dean exhaled heavily.

  
“Hey man it’s not true, don’t say like that, it’s just bullshit, okay? Dean look, I don’t know what will happen between Cas and Oliver. But I know that he really cared about you. I can’t tell surely that he also have those fallings for you, but I know that he really, really cared about you, and he wanted to live with us as we did before, but seems like something bothered him inside, I don’t know what was that” Sam said get on his feet,  
“Dean, come let’s go outside and get some shot, you need to relax a little bit,” Sam asked because he felt so worried about his brother.  
“Nah Sammy, I just need to get a nap. I think that’s the best thing I should do now” Dean said and buried his face into the Cas’s pillow, Sam sighed and walked out of the room.

  
Dean smelled the pillow, its smell like Cas. And Cas’s grapefruit shampoo. Dean loved it a lot. He felt something wetness in his cheeks. Immediately he wiped it. No, I’m not gonna cry anymore over anything, I’m Dean fucking Winchester. I killed the Hitler, I killed the Cane, I killed the knight of the hell, and fuck I killed the Death, then why the hell I’m crying here like a baby. And then it’s hit him. Yeah, I must be a badass like that much, but I didn’t say that three words to love of my life and now he is on another man’s hand.

My Head was Up my Ass for the whole time and now I’m thinking how incredible man I am. but too late man, too late. Dean buried his nose the spot, where the Cas’s scent came sharply.  
Damn Dean is just a man after all. He is also feeling sadness, so he let the tears falling down to his ex-best friend’s ex-pillow.

  
************

  
Cas thought it about thousand times, am I hate Dean?  
Yes! I do. Because he doesn’t care about me, he ignored me, and he hated me, but most of all, I’m in totally Love with Dean and it's hurt, its hurt because that much I love him. But he doesn’t love me back, so yes I hate him. Cas tried to forget about all, but he can’t, he just can’t.

  
Cas glanced at his own reflection in the mirror. He was dressed the same black pair of jeans and blue button down. He was in the washroom, getting ready for the date just like yesterday. Cas only brought few things with him when he left the bunker. His black pair of jeans, white and blue button downs, one t-shirt and sweat pant and his beloved trench-coat. He talked to Sam before he left in the morning, Sam hugged him and begged for don’t do this, but Cas only gave him a sad smile.

  
“Just be safe Sam, and take care of your brother” that’s the only thing he said and then he left the bunker as a stranger. He didn’t feel that much pain in his heart even when he left the heaven. after he left he thought he must say Oliver that he can’t go to a date with him, and then he has to find a place to live and probably a new job too, he can sleep in a park at night if he couldn’t find a place tonight. But he believed that he will eventually find one soon.  
Cas sighed and glanced at his phone, no missed calls or messages, he sighed again and shoved it back to his pocket, then he came out to the car park as he saw Oliver is already waiting for him.

  
“Hi, you look very handsome Cas.” Oliver smiled at Cas and said softly. Cas gave back a small smile to him. He just only murmured something to Oliver and climbed into the seat as Oliver opened the car door for him. Cas doesn’t want to make this fancy. He just attended the event. and that’s it.  
Oliver also got on to the car and looked at Cas

“So I hope this time you will not run like yesterday. Right?” he asked while smirked at Cas.

  
“No Oliver, I don’t do like that I’m really sorry about yesterday,” Cas said and smiled lightly. Oliver chuckled and nodded.

  
“I just kidding with you Cas, but if you still sorry about that you can give a kiss and make it up to me,” Oliver said while giving a charming smile to Cas. Suddenly Cas looked at Oliver, he blinked at him with wide eyes. He never wanted this, but here he is now. Oliver is asking for a kiss from him. Cas felt kind of disgust with himself, he should not come for this at first place. Before he finds a word Oliver chuckled again.

  
“God Cas, I just asked a kiss, not a kidney, and also I was kidding with you again Cas,” Oliver said while laughing.  
Then he started the car and drove to the hotel he planned to take Cas tonight. As Oliver was so happy and Cas was so sad, confused and nervures, both of them didn’t notice something. The Black Chevy Impala 67 which followed them slowly.  
Oliver stopped the car in front of a nice hotel as the doorman came to open the door for them. They politely thank him and Oliver turned to get Cas’s hand, but Cas was in another world.

  
“Cas? hey, are you okay?” Oliver asked while little bit leaning into Cas. Cas quickly nodded and smiled at him.  
“um yes Oliver, I’m fine,” Cas said and then they walked inside. Actually, it was a nice place. Cas looked around with a awe, Oliver kept playing his gentlemen role as he pulled a chair for Cas and signed him to sit. Cas sit and then Oliver also get his seat. Then he gave a loveable face to Cas.  
“So Cas, I feel so happy that you are agreeing to come with me, I need to thank you again,” Oliver said and took Cas’s hands into his hands. But before Cas say anything Oliver’s eyes aimed to the door behind Cas. He just looked there like he saw a ghost. Cas saw the change of Oliver’s face.  
“Oliver, what’s wrong?” Cas asked and then he started to turn around to look where Oliver staring. But before he turns, he heard the voice which he never expected to here at that moment.

  
“Hey guys” Dean greeted as he took a chair from another table and sit in front of Cas.  
Cas didn’t say anything but staring at Dean with wide eyes. Oliver cleared his throat and broke the awkward moment.  
“Oh what a surprise Dean, never expected you in here. And um, I believe that Cas must have told you that we came here for a DATE. Oliver said with a surprise voice but his voice filled with annoying tone and angrily.

  
Cas didn’t know that he must be happy to see Dean or get pissed with him, for trying to involved to his life again and again.  
“Well, yes he told me already, but actually I wanted to come and talk to you Oliver,” Dean said.

  
they stopped talking when a waiter came to take their orders, Oliver ordered red wine both him and Cas and asked from Dean, did he want the same, but he said no to him and told to the waiter he needs a beer and make the two separate bill for them.

  
“What are you doing here, I thought I had clearly told you yesterday that… ” Cas started but Dean Cutoff him.  
“Yes Cas I heard you very clearly and remember the things what you have told yesterday, but Oliver, don’t misunderstand me, I’m not going to disturb you guys, but as an EX- best friend of Cas, I have to talk with you, because he hasn’t many friends, hell we all haven’t many people left around us. Me, Cas, and my brother, we all have very few people left here. So I thought I have to do this. I know Cas don’t like this but I have to do this. Because still you are my best friend Cas” Dean stated and gave a sad face to Cas.

  
“And Oliver, I also guess that he must already tell you that he has left our apartment yesterday, because of a little argument. But Cas, I want you to come with me to our apartment only for tonight after your date until you find another one because I don’t want you to sleep on the road at night. And I promise you that, there will be no argument, no fights even no talking. and now, I just need to talk with Oliver, only for 5 minutes.”

  
Cas didn’t say anything and Oliver nodded before grab Cas’s hand again and tighten his grip around Cas’s hand. Dean saw the tangled hands and sighed.  
“Oliver, don’t break his heart, never ever. And if you don’t want him in your life don’t give him hopes, because if you break his heart I’m gonna break your neck and I swear to god you will never see the sun rise again.”

  
Cas gave a sarcasm laugh and Dean knew that was for him. But didn’t say anything as the waiter came with their drinks.  
Dean started to talk again after waiter gone.

  
“Yes Cas, you may be thinking that I have no right to tell it to him as I’m the person who breaks your heart most, but you know I’m suffering a lot now for it, and maybe Oliver will get his lesson by looking at me.” Dean’ voice was cracking as he was in so much pain.  
“And Oliver, Cas deserves so much more than what he has now, he had been going through lots of shits that he doesn’t want to go, lots of times he did those for me, fuck, he saved me lots of times and the reason I still live is definitely that of him. Dean said and looked at Cas, but he didn’t look back at Dean. He just staring at his and Oliver’s tangled hands.

  
“And he is the purest-hearted person I have ever seen in this world. And he is so innocent sometimes, but when he gets pissed over something, that’s the end of it. Also, he is the strongest badass. He is so cute sometimes and he will never understand the double meaning words and pickup lines” Dean said and chuckled little, but his face shows very clearly that he was in heavy pain. He sipped his beer before start his speech again.  
“Castiel is the most careering and lovable friend ever, he will protect his friends without thinking about his life for a second, and he always sacrificed his life for his friends. And yes he will do lots of stupid things but all because of his caring. He is the most stubborn idiot sometimes but mostly in a good way.”  
Now Cas was completely staring at Dean and Dean also said all the things staring at Cas’s eyes directly.  
“And oh god I love that his head tilting thing when he doing, he got confused about something, he is so adorable when he doing it,” Dean said and laugh a little before getting a long sip of his beer.

  
“He is an Angel of Angels. He is my best friend forever and I L… um I cared a lot about him, but I failed to show it to him all the time. I hurt him lots of times since the very first moment we met, and I didn’t be there for him when he needed me, but he always been there for me, when I wanted him, he was my Guardian, Angel. And you know what, most of all, he has the greatest and purest soul I had ever seen” Dean finished without getting his eyes from Cas and Cas felt tears rolling on his cheeks. His heart hurt so much to Dean’s words. He never thought that Dean will say something like that. Cas just staring at him with wide eyes.

  
hearing Dean talk about him this way Is completely miracle to Cas and it made Cas’s heart paralyze little bit. Is Dean Care this much for me? Is this the way he thinking about me? Is that means he doesn’t hate me? He looks like in pain. Is that because I left the bunker and him? But why? now? after all? why now? He was clearly ignored me before. Cas thought while staring at Dean with teary eyes and also Dean was staring at Cas with saddest face Cas has ever seen.  
“Ahem, aa Cas, wow sounds like I’m the luckiest bastard ever. Right? So I feel like I need to kiss you right now” Oliver break the moment as he saw the muted story between both Cas and Dean.

  
Dean felt he wants to punch the bustard’s face. he was shivering with anger as he fought back his anger with a smile and break the staring contest. Oliver smirked at Cas but Cas was not a mood for those and he was about to tell no to Oliver, but suddenly two things happen at the same time. Oliver leaned to Cas’s face and Dean’s beer dropped and fell onto Oliver’s lap. Oliver cursed and pushed his chair back before hurriedly wipe beer out of his lap.

  
“Shit man. I’m sorry, my mistake” Dean said immediately but if there was a kid, even he will tell that he wasn’t sorry about that.  
“Right, I get that it was an accident and I think I have to go to the washroom. So excuse me” Oliver said and glare at Dean before rushed towards the washroom.  
After he gone Dean saw that Cas glared at him. He was pissed at him because Dean ruined Oliver’s clothes. Dean sighed.

  
“I’m sorry Cas, but I thought um I thought maybe you don’t ready for that yet, so it will give you some time to rethink, maybe if you think that this is not what yo..”  
“This is what I wanted Dean, this is what I wish to have. caring, kindness, protection, friendship, and, and also Love” Cas said before Dean end his sentence.  
“I don’t know what you doing here. And what you going to prove, but I’m not going to come back to the bunker.” Cas’s voice was not angry but full of sad, he was so confused as the things Dean had said. is he really mean those? And it made Cas so confused, sad and also little relief in his heart.  
But no! I’m not gonna keep thinking about what he said, I don’t want to do that, he clearly hated me and pushed me away. Maybe Sam will beg him to do this. No, I can't , I can’t handle any rejection from Dean, not again. Cas thought himself.

  
Dean’s heart broken into pieces, god, Cas I’m the person who loves you like crazy. Shit, I failed to tell it to you and that’s why you just sit here with this asshole. Dean just tried one last time.  
“But Cas please let me…” Dean couldn’t tell the thing he was going to say as Oliver came back.  
“Cas, I think we should go now babe, I just paid both of our bills and also paid for extra beer for you, so why don’t you sit here and enjoy your beer,” Oliver asked and reach his hand for Cas.

  
Dean felt the most precious thing in his life gonna left him soon.

Chuck, I Love my Cas so much, no, no, please don’t let this happened. Am I not deserved for Love, don’t you see how much I Love your son. After all the shits you gave my life, don’t you think I deserve your son? Please, chuck Dean preyed.

  
Cas doesn’t want to accept Oliver’s hand, but Oliver kept hold his hand for Cas’s hand. As there was no any choice Cas put his hand on Oliver’s hand and stood up. Dean’s heart filled with Sad, anger and self hateress. He also stood up and gave a pleading face to Cas.

  
Oliver smiled at Cas softly and get Cas into his side, he slowly put his hand around Cas’s waist and pulled Cas into his body. Dean gritted his teeth, his heart started to scream, he is mine, Cas is mine, only mine. Go get him, he is yours Dean. His heart yelled at him, but he was frozen in the same place with teary eyes.

  
“So have a nice evening Dean,” Oliver said and started to walk toward the door. Cas was going with him like a zombie, he was in a fight with himself to bury his feeling, he tried to justify himself and keep telling himself that he can’t think about Dean’s speech.

  
Dean was about to see another loss of his life, but he can’t let this happened, he just can’t let this happen to his life repeatedly, he has to fight, before both Oliver and Cas passed the door, Dean heard his own voice surprising himself.

  
“CAS!”

  
Cas turned back within second and both Cas and Dean surprises with that, Dean thought Cas will probably ignore him and will go with Oliver, but he didn’t.  
Cas’s heart started to pound hard into his chest as he turned back to Dean, he can’t tell what he was expected to hear from Dean, but he was so lost right now and he had a little hope over Dean’s words.

  
“What Dean” Cas asked with a shaky voice. Dean gulped and put a step closer to Cas. Oliver was still holding Cas’s hand.  
“I just… please I just need to talk to you for a second” his voice was begging and Cas looked at Oliver who tightened his grip on Cas’s hand. seems like Oliver don’t want to let Cas go, but Cas slowly pulled his hand off from Oliver.

  
“Um, Oliver can you please give me a minute?” Cas asked and Oliver sighed.

  
“Ok, then I will be outside if you want me just call me okay?” Oliver said and glanced at Dean once before he walked outside.

  
“What is it Dean, what you wanna talk with me?” Cas asked crossing his arms over his chest.

  
Dean knew that this is his last chance, but he cursed himself as he still has no gut to confess or even he doesn’t know what he is going to tell Cas right now.

  
“Cas… I ah um, Cas... come with me. I mean we still don’t know who is he or what is he up to, I mean you know that whom we always dealing with right? So please just come with me to the bunker. Don’t go with him Cas”

great! there was a hope in Cas's heart. but the same thing happened also this time, as usual, the asshole was a super coward as didn’t say what he wanted to say. Cas closed his eyes for a second and sighed heavily as he tried to calm down himself.

  
“I have told this before that I don’t care about anything else, and why would I not going with him, he makes me happy and take care of me, he respects me, so why would I not going with him, Dean you don’t like to see me been happy. Right?” Cas’s voice was angry.  
Actually, Cas didn’t care about Oliver, he just wanted to know the reason that Dean acting like this. Dean’s face darkened with the pain and he knew he screwed up his last chance.

  
“God, no Cas, it's not the truth, I wanna see you happy, you deserved to be happy, I … I just want to” but Cas cutoff him.

  
“Shut up Dean, first of all, you hurt me so, so much, insulted me a lot and ignored me like a rotten sick puppy. And now I think you hate me more, of course, that’s why you stopped Oliver when he going to kiss me and you don’t like to see me happy with Oliver right. That’s what you want. That’s why you acting weird like this.” Cas yelled at him he felt tears on his angry pink shaded cheeks.

  
“No Cas, no that’s not what I want” Dean Comment as Cas huffs a sarcasm laugh.

  
“Really? Then why you did that, why you trying to your ass off to stop me. Huh? Tell me, Dean, just tell me?” Cas forget that they are in the middle of a hotel and there are lots of people as he shouting at Dean. Dean cursed himself and tried to gather some strength and words but he unable to do so.  
“Because, because I …um Cas I mean because I” Dean stuck with his words as Cas shook his head as a disappointment.

  
“You have no answer for that right. Just like I guess it would be. You know what Dean, I can’t believe we were the best friends before, after all the things we passed together, after the friendship we build together after I fall…” Cas stopped as he was about to tell him that he was falling for Dean.

  
“After all those things, I will never thought you will change like this Dean, you were better than this when you were that Demon, I wish if I was Angel and got my grace back, then I will go back to heaven if they going to kill me at the first site. it’s really better more than see you like this. You know what, I don’t want to see you again. Goodbye Dean, goodbye forever.”

  
Cas said and he felt he was shivering. he glared at Dean and turned back to the door. but before he goes away Dean grabbed his wrist tightly. Cas was yelled unexpected touch and looked at Dean. Dean’s face was written nothing but begging.

  
“Let go my hand,” Cas said warned tone and send a death glare at Dean while he twisting his own hand to pull it out, but Dean was strong.  
“Cas please” Dean begged, his voice nearly cry. And now Cas can clearly see the tears on Dean’s eyes. Cas didn’t want to see Dean like this. He Loves Dean so much and he doesn’t want to see Dean like this, but he doesn’t know what to do. He can’t understand what Dean wants from him.  
“Dean stop this already, let me go,” Cas said but not in angry. He wiped the tears with his free hand.  
“Cas don't leave me. Don’t do this, please Cas” Dean begged.

  
“Dean I said let my hand go” Cas demanded. Dean knew the moment when he relies Cas’s hand, the most beautiful chapter of his life will be gone, the happiness and the colors of his life will be gone again with him.

  
“Cas, don’t go with him” Dean plead, he knew he has to let go Cas now or any second. He was shivering with the feeling the lost Cas from his life again.  
“But why I should not going with him Dean” Cas asked before gritting his teeth.

  
Dean closed his eyes and he saw the way he lives without Cas in his life, no, no, no fuck it. I need you. I’m not gonna leave you. Not now. Not again. So fuck it. He opened his eyes as Cas saw the energy full eyes of Dean and Cas got shivered as he goes. Before he even thinks what’s going on, he heard Dean’s voice.

  
“ **Because I LOVE YOU CAS** ,” Dean said with a strong voice and the most lovable eyes Cas had ever seen. Dean's mind was empty now. He didn’t know what will happen next, but at least now he has confessed to Cas.

 

  
Cas frozen and his jaw dropped, his eyes widen with complete shock, he doesn’t know when he stops the twisting of his hand over Dean’s.  
Cas felt he was floating. He doesn’t know what to do, scream cry or laugh. But Dean was a straight guy, Is Dean joking or lying? No Dean never do something like that. He was the best human Cas believed he saw on this earth. and how the hell I didn't see it coming.

  
Both Dean and Cas were just staring into their eyes. No one didn’t know that what to do. And also Cas didn’t sure that is he dreaming or it really happened. Their hands still were the same. Dean felt Cas’s hand is getting hot slowly. They just stayed like that for seconds and Dean put a step closer to Cas without breaking eye contact. His eyes were filled with the Love. Cas wanted to hug Dean so tight, but before anything happen further Oliver rushed to them. Both Dean and Cas didn’t notice him until he pulled Cas’s other hand.

  
“Babe, it’s been more than 10 minutes, come let's go.” then he started practically dragged Cas to the door, but Cas or Dean didn’t break their eye contact. Cas was still in the shock and Dean couldn’t guess that what’s Cas thinking. When Oliver pulled Cas’s other hand, the Dean’s grip was getting loose and slowly Cas’s hand slipped off from Dean’s hand.

 

Dean only saw the beautiful and completely shocked face of Cas. He felt all other things gone blur and he didn’t hear anything else.  
He felt world get slow and the grip of his and Cas’s hand is about to broke. Then that bustard Oliver put another step towards the door and Cas’s hand pulled with a wave and its completely slipped away from Dean. Dean’s heart stopped for a second and he felt he was crying when a tear falling down on his cheek.  
Both of them were still staring at each other. But Cas’s mind was still processing inside as he getting panic a little. They were kept staring until Cas was dragged outside the door. Dean closed his eyes when Cas completely has gone from his sight. Two big tears dropped at the same time.

  
It’s not a wonder, huh. Who am I to love him? He is an Angel by the way. And I’m just a broken and lost hunter who never been loved or never been able to love to someone. Dean felt self-pity and his heart pained like someone has stabbed him. He felt he can’t breathe as he rushed to the door and stepped to the outside. But he gasped and stopped when he saw it.

  
There are both Cas and Oliver stand in front of there car, Cas was telling something to Oliver and Oliver nodded at him, Dean couldn’t see their faces clearly but he can see everything. Next second Oliver smiled at Cas and leaned to him and pressed a kiss on his forehead. Dean closed his eyes and hissed. Then he opened his eyes to see both of them hugging tightly. Dean’s head falling down with that and knew he was too late for everything, he wiped the newly falling tears off his face and he turned back to the hotel with the pieces of his broken and pained heart.  
he remembered the things he did to Cas, each word he told to him, for each step he put.

 **_“what the hell Cas, what are you? a baby? Why are you always running to me and telling me all the shits happened to you? and asking for help? Can’t you even…… shit, I’ m not your boyfriend Cas... There is nothing between us okay? stop pretending like that. and hell, you always bring troubles to me, what are you, huh? what you think you are?“._ **  
**_“he thinks that it's my responsibility to protect him from all those bastards. Because guys following him like he was a fucking whore”_ **

**_“Now every one laughing at me because of him, I've been a joke because of him. he destroyed my whole reputation. you know what Cas, just fuck off. Just fuck off my life OK? I don’t want to be a joke because of you”_ **

 

And then he felt he is empty again in his inside, felt broken again. He is lost his Love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your big kudos and comments are welcome and those make me happy. thank you. and see you soon. <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So seems like Chuck still plays with them as they still survive but will they continue or.. What? Will see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the late and also for this chapter is short. I know maybe therevare not lots of people read my fiction, but I'm apologize from the who read this and thank you for waiting and reading this. And sorry for the mistakes.  
> I will update soon.  
> Have a lovely day.  
> I thank for my friend Connie for helping me to find some words.

Dean just walking into the table which they were sat before. he was kept wiping his face because he didn’t want to show that Dean Winchester is this much weaker, but inside he wanted to scream, he wanted to shove all the tables there and hit someone to death, but whom? And why? he is the one who let this happened, and now there is nothing to fix that again.

I will never get my best friend again, not like before he will not be like before, I lost him. Dean can’t stop his feelings and tears started to roll again.

 

Suddenly he bumped into someone and he didn’t bother to excuse them and sat on the chair to the nearest table. that moment he felt someone touched his shoulder and he glance up immediately. there was a girl and Dean’s face dropped again with sad eyes as his last hope disappeared with that because he thought it’s Cas, for a moment.

 

"Well hello there handsome" Dean herd girl greeted him but he didn't want to that this moment, hell he even didn't want any girl in his life again. He wanted only one man. He signed heavily and covered his face with both hands.

  
"I wish I could control myself better around you, but when I saw you before a minute ago, all I wanted to do is rip your clothes off and get fuck by you"

  
Dean herds the seductive tone of her voice as that made Dean awake, he glanced at the chick with a warning look. Hell her dress was barely covered her nudity and she was biting her bottom lip like she wants to make Dean do this for her.

  
"Look, lady, I'm not interesting, just leave" Dean's voice was cracked and heavy.  
But that chick didn't seem like get that message as he sat on the nearest chair to Dean. She purposely spread her legs as Dean can see even her black lace panties.

  
"Even it seems like you’re in a bad mood, I want to get fucked by you, I need to feel you inside me.

  
do you wanna do something about that" Dean felt kind of numb in his heart, he didn't want to talk with this woman right now. But she definitely not gonna stop her porn star role here.

  
"I said I'm not interesting, just go away before this gonna worse" Dean almost yelling but he kept his voice down and He was about to stand but before he even thinks the chick grabbed on his thighs and push him to the chair again.

Then ran her hand on his thighs.  
Dean closed his eyes for a moment, he didn't remember the last time any girl touch him like that. Because he didn't want that, but now he was rejected from his love. And he is Dean fucking Winchester, the lady's man after all. So why not? Why is he doesn't get this chance? The chick was so hot and her eyes were filled with lust.

 

"Even when you’re in a bad mood, I want you to fuck me so badly, and If these people weren’t here, I would be on my knees with your cock in my mouth" She kept seducing Dean and he wanted something to live, something to survive from the huge pain and emptiness he felt hugely. So then be this. Finally, he glanced at her. 

  
"Where you want to go," He asked but he felt disgusting about himself surprising him.  
"Mmm I'm so horny right now, can't go anywhere, just follow me," She said and stand up then walk towards to the washroom.

  
Dean stopped thinking ahead and just walked after her. He was done. He doesn't care about anything now. He wanted to be that old, broken empty easygoing boy.

*********

Castiel was in huge shock. Dean Winchester said that he is Love him. My love said that he is Love me, Castiel's mind screamed. But his mind didn't work properly for a few minutes after Dean confesses to him.

  
Oliver dragged Castiel and finally stopped at the car park. Suddenly Castiel's face lighting with a beautiful smile as he finally got out from the shock. He glanced back and forth to see his Dean but he was in the car park with his date Oliver. Castiel automatically looked at his hand which was Oliver grabbing hard.

 

Castiel pulled his hand from the grip as Oliver gave him a questioning face.

  
"Cas? " Oliver asked.

  
"He said it," Castiel said to Oliver with an innocent and shocked smile.

  
"Who said, and said what Castiel?" Oliver asked but his face was already changed.  
Castiel smiled hugely.

  
"Dean, Dean said that he Loves me," Castiel said then he grabbed his head with his hands.

  
"Oh no, he said he loves me and what am I doing here" Now Castiel was talking to himself. Then he looked at Oliver who listening to him quietly.

  
"Oliver, I'm so sorry, I didn't want to hurt you, but, but you know I just can't... " Castiel couldn't able to finish him as he so Oliver's knowing smile.

  
"Oliver, didn't you pissed at me? Why are you smiling? "

Castiel asked while tilting his head.

  
"Castiel, you think I didn't know that you are in love with him? God anyone can tell it if they look at you, but I didn't know that what is the reason you kept going away from him, so I thought he must reject you, then I thought I have a chance to win you because I really fancy you Castiel. So that's why I said I'm not a blind man that day when Dean came to the library, Anyhow I don't piss at you, I'm happy that finally, Dean said it to you, you deserve it Castiel, you are a good man. So why are you here now, go and get your love" Oliver said with a huge smile.

Castiel felt he is crying as he smiled through tears.

  
"I'm so sorry and thank you Oliver" His voice was so low.

  
Oliver chuckled. "Come here" Oliver grabbed Castiel and pressed a kiss on his forehead then hugged him tightly. after while Oliver pulled out from the hug slowly. 

"Hey go now" He chuckled again and slowly shoved Castiel towards the Hotel. Castiel gave a great full smile to Oliver and nodded.

  
Castiel ran towards the hotel main entrance as his heart started to pound to his chest, he felt his throat goes dry, he is going to Dean, he also going to confess him. He passed the main door as he felt something strange thing happened to his stomach.

 

He smiled to himself and rushed to the table which they were sitting before. He can't wait to see his lover, his Dean, he can't wait to hug his Dean, he felt kind of shy but he is so eager to see his Dean.

********

The women jump to Dean as soon as he entered the washroom.

  
"This hotel is not like those cheap restaurants, the people came here are polite than restaurant drunk people, so you have to fuck me quickly" She murdered and started to kiss Dean hungrily.  
Dean didn't kiss back, he just be there, but his mind was with his Cas.

  
Chick started to grinding over Dean's crotch, but Dean realized that he didn't even get hard yet, he didn't feel anything. She also noticed that and stopped grinding and glanced at Dean.

  
"What? Is this not enough to get a boner for me?, mmm wait I know what to do the men like you" She smirked and get down to her knees, she quickly unbutton Dean's denim.

  
Dean quickly looked down. His mind showed him only  
Dark hair! The most beautiful blue eyes! Cas! But that moment that Chick unzipped Dean's denim and then it's hit him.

  
No, no, no I can't do this! Dean murmured and jumped back, patting her hands away.  
"What the fuck are you doing? " She yelled and stand up fixing her almost losing dress.

  
Dean just looked at her with horror eyes.  
"I'm I'm sorry, I just, I can't do this" Dean herd his own weak voice.

  
She gritted her teeth.  
"What? Are you a faggot?  
She yelled and glared at him.

  
Dean just closed his eyes and leaned his head to the door, he didn't want to argue or proof that who is he.

  
" Shit, you are a real asshole" She yelled again and rushed out of the washroom.  
Dean didn't care about her reaction or her insulting, he just stayed there like that. He just let fall the tear rolled from his eyes. 

 

  
*****

  
Castiel looked around but there wasn't Dean. Castiel search all around but he couldn't find him, as he saw the waiter who served them before, Castiel stopped him quickly.

  
"Um excuse me, did you see my friend, that tall handsome one, with a leather jacket," He asked with a little shy tone. The waiter nodded quickly.

  
"Yes sir, I saw him walked outside soon after you go, I think he is gone already," Waiter said and walked toward the next table.

  
Castiel couldn't wait to see him, as he decided to go to the bunker quickly, because he was so eager to confess to Dean. So he rushed to the outside and then walked to the road, he quickly stopped a cab and gave the address to the driver and said drive as quick as he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the mistakes and your big kudos and comments are welcome.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's plan is so cruel for these two, I guess. Hmm but Will they survive without each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there must be mistakes in my fiction, grammar and stuff, but I want to thank you for still reading and giving me kudos and giving me strength. Thank you very much all of you.  
> Have a nice day lovelies <3

"Oh, Cas? Oh thank Chuck, you came back" Sam beamed and jumped to hug Cas as soon as He opened the Bunker door for Cas.  
Cas smiled at Sam and hugged him back warmly.  
"Thank you Sam," Cas said, then he slowly pulled out from the hug and hurriedly walked towards the Dean's room, but he came back as there is no Dean inside the room. Next, Cas rushed to the kitchen. But he came with a disappointed face. Sam got questioning face and he just watched the way Cas search something like crazy.  
"Um Cas, what are you searching for?" Sam asked when Cas give up his searching session.  
Suddenly Cas understand that he didn't tell anything to Sam yet as Cas got blushed. He looked down and tried to hide his blushing cheeks. 

 

 

  
"I'm... I'm searched for your Brother Sam" He barely said it as he felt like his cheeks getting burned with the shy.  
"Oh, is that so, but Dean wasn't ... " Sam going to answer but Suddenly he stopped with widening eyes.  
"Woah wait, is that you just... Gush Cas! Did you just Blushed before a second ago" Sam asked with a surprised voice and it's made Cas blush more.  
then next seconds Sam froze, then he started to scream with happiness.  
"Oh my god, oh my god, Cas, did Dean confess to you? Did he tell you? Please tell me that you accepted him, Cas please tell me what happened" Sam was too happy and it makes him look like a ridiculous moose as he grabbed Cas on his both shoulders.  
Its time was Cas to get shocked as he looked at Sam.  
"What? did you know? I mean did Dean tell you about that?" Cas asked.  
Sam rolled his eyes before answering to his best friend.  
"Oh c'mon Cas, the whole world knew that you two idiots are in love, but you two didn't know it," Sam said with a little laugh. Cas also smiled.  
"So what happened" Sam was so eager to know what happened between his brother and his best friend.  
Cas's face changed to a little sad shadow. He told everything happened the hotel and then the way he came to the bunker to confess Dean.  
Sam told that Dean didn't come yet.  
"Didn't you call him?" Sam asked while dialing Dean.  
"No Sam, I tried but my phone was switched off, I forget to charge it," Cas said with a concerned voice.  
"Hey it's okay I'm just calling him now," Sam said but Dean didn't answer the phone. Sam tried like 5 times but Dean's phone not responded as it's also got switched off.  
"Err now it's switched off, hmm but he will come here any time now, so don't worry, then you lovebirds can confess each other" Sam said with a chuckle.  
Cas blushing again and looked at his own feet with a little smile.  
"And Cas, why don't you go to His room and waiting for him, maybe you can surprise him," Sam said and started to push Cas towards the Dean's room. 

 

"Oww um okay," Cas said between his laugh.  
Cas sat on Dean's bed after Sam left the room closing the door behind him. Cas sighed as he ran his hand on Dean's pillow. Suddenly His face enchanted with a beautiful smile when he remembered that Dean will come anytime now. and then he leaned towards the pillow before he knew what he is doing he nuzzled his face on the pillow and inhale his lover's scent.  
Cas felt huge relief with Dean's smell and laid on Dean's bed and waited for him with a confused mind. But how much he wanted to meet Dean he fell asleep, because he was so exhausted from physically and mentally.

 

 

**********

  
Dean was in the hotel washroom, sitting on the floor, near the door like a drunk man. He just stayed there until one of the hotel staff came and asked him to leave. He acted like he was drunk and rushed to the car park. Dean didn't know what to do next. After he accepted to himself that he loves Cas, that was Dean's main thing, winning his Cas back was his whole mission. Now without Cas, he didn't know what to do.

But he has to become The Dean Winchester soon again. Unless this Will be his Dhoom. Dean wiped his eyes and whole face. He stopped sobbing and get into the Impala.

  
Sam was awake, it's almost 12.30 am but he waited for his brother. Sam was in the war room when Dean enters the bunker. Dean's eyes were swollen and red. His whole face said his pain in his heart. Dean saw Sam as soon as he got in, but he was not in a mood for a chat as he started to walk away towards the kitchen, ignoring Sam.

  
"dude, what? You don't want to talk to me about what happened there?" Sam asked with a chuckle.

  
Dean didn't say anything but groaned his way to the kitchen.

  
"Dean seriously, I want to talk about Cas" Sam tried again and he didn't know that why Dean was angry. 

  
"Sam! I don't want to. Ok? Now leave me alone" Dean's voice was rough and thick.  
Sam didn't expect it and he got a confused face.

  
"Hey what's wrong, why don't you want to talk about it? Uh, wait...I know" Sam smiled as he got the reason for Dean's angry.

  
"You acting like this, because of you didn't get his answer, right?" Sam chuckled again.

  
"Just shut the fuck up Sam" Dean yelled.

  
"I said that I don't want to talk about it or Cas, anything about him, not right now" Dean shouted at his brother and started to walk again.

Sam also got pissed at him but he wanted to tell Dean that Cas is waiting for him in his room.

  
"Right, but I just want to say, Cas is... " But Sam couldn't say it as Dean's pissed voice cut off him.

 

  
"I said don't, don't you understand it or should I have to punch you for make you understand it Sam" Dean yelled like crazy.Sam got shocked and angry too, he glared at Dean.

  
"Fine, screw you, I'm not gonna tell you anything" He yelled back and rushed to his room.

  
Dean ran his hand through his hair then wiped his face. He wanted to shout, scream.  
He wanted to kill something, wanted to go hunting back.

  
Corner of his heart there is a tiny hope that maybe, just maybe Cas will call him, or maybe he will come to the bunker any moment. maybe Cas came to say sorry or maybe he will come to shout to Dean, to fight with him.

  
Dean went to the kitchen and grabbed a beer, then he came to the war room. Sat and Opened his laptop which he left on the war room table before. He determined to be awake for Cas. It's just a tiny hope. Half of his mind told him that Cas will never come back, the other half told him that maybe he will come. So Dean wanted to forget about Cas, maybe for a while, because he knew if he didn't stop his feelings now, he couldn't control himself then he will end up killing Oliver. so he started to search for any clue about his Mom.

  
Time flew and Dean just drank beers and searched for clues.  
Suddenly he remembered the way Oliver kisses Cas's forhead, the way they hugged. Dean gritted his teeth.

  
Why God, why you always do this to me, you took everything I loved, why you hate me this much. If you don't want to give Your Son Castiel to me then why did you send him to rescue me? why? Don't you see how much I Love him? Dean prayed to Chuck with tears but he felt anger about himself.

 

No... maybe you are right, my life is a cured one. maybe I do not deserve to have anyone, especially him, I always knew I do not deserve Cas. he is a real an Angel even now. So maybe he will get a really beautiful life without me. Dean wiped his tears and mouth.

  
Yes, Cas's life will be fine without me. I had sacrificed my happiness many times for my family, so this is for Cas, I have to leave him, he got his choice, I don't bother him anymore, he deserves to be happy, deserves to have a beautiful life, so be it. I'm gonna stop right here.

  
With that thought, Dean didn't bother to wipe those waterfalls came from his eyes as there is no one to see those last tears he will ever have in his life again.

 

When it comes to 3 am Dean didn't get any clue about his Mom but got a clue about Vampire nest, it will not too long drive to that place from here. Dean didn't think twice as he closed his laptop, he didn't want to get anything from his room as he directly rushed to his baby. He checked that if all the weapons he wanted is there and started his alone hunting trip.

 

Dean didn't know that the Love of his life is waiting for him, in his room as he closed his heart permanently and determined to walk away from Cas. and he didn't name his hunting trip but also he knew it was a suicide mission as the vampire nest is too huge to handle to a single hunter. But damn, he was Dean Winchester after all. And now he is broken again. So who's care, he gonna do it or gonna die with Vamps. coz he was too tired with all the shits.

 

*********

Cas starlet awake as he remembered where he was and for what he has waited. Then he checked the table clock and he sees the stars.

  
Damn it's almost 8 Am. Didn't Dean came yet? Cas jumped out of the bed and rushed to the war room. He looked everywhere but there was no clue about Dean came to the Bunker last night.

  
Cas quickly walked to Sam's room and knocked on the door impatiently.  
"Sam... Sam please wake up, Didn't Dean came last night?" Cas knocked on the door again as he heard Sam's sleepy groan. After seconds Sam opened the door with a big yawn.

  
"What? didn't he talk with you last night, he was so pissed and he didn't talk to me so I left him alone" Sam said in a sleepy voice.  
"What? Did he come? " Cas cried as he cursed himself for falling sleep without waiting for Dean.

  
"Dammit, now he has gone again, but... But you think that he didn't come to his room? Didn't he saw me? " Cas asked.  
Sam get minute before answering the question because he knew that Cas's situation.

  
"Um Cas, just relax, let me check on him first," He said and went back to his room to get his phone. He checks whether Dean had texted him, but no. There was no any text or missed calls.

  
Sam dialed Dean. Ones, twice but he didn't answer.  
Sam's forehead creased as he felt something is wrong. He glanced at Cas with a confused face and grabbed his laptop as Cas also came to look at it. Sam tried to track Dean's GPRS.

  
"C'mon!" He yelled after a few minutes as Cas leaned to the laptop.  
"He just switched off his GPRS. But why? I mean he doesn't need to do that" Sam stated with a confused tone.  
Cas couldn't think what should he do right now as he looked at Sam with a very sad face.

  
"Sam, he should be so upset about last night, I mean um... I'm such an idiot I didn't reply him that time but I had to, I was so shocked that time Sam. What we do now. I want to talk to him immediately, please help me to find him" Cas begged to Sam.

 

 

  
"Hey don't worry, he will come back soon, I think he must be going to grab some beer. Don't you think so, I mean you are right, he was so upset and angry about himself last night. so I think he might be needed some time" Sam replied before put his hand on Cas's shoulder as he tried to calm Cas.  
But then suddenly Sam's face changed again.  
"You know what Cas, I think we should check out his laptop too, coz if be honest with you, I also feel like that stubborn jerk is up to something."

  
Then Sam walked into Dean's room and searched Dean's laptop everywhere, Cas also joined with him but they didn't find it as Cas going to the war room to search there. When he entered the war room, he saw Dean's laptop lay on the war table.

  
"Sam it's here" Cas called out and Sam ran to the war room. They checked the laptop and Sam found all the hidden details that Dean found about that Vampire nest.  
Cas's face turned to horror look as Sam shouted angrily.

  
"This fuckin idiot even delete the address and all details about the place, shit...he definitely didn't want to let us know where he was gone."

 

  
Sam yelled as he was beyond the angry.  
"I mean look at these details Cas, that vampire nest is a huge one, not 5 or 6 members, as the details it must be at least kind of 20 members in that nest, he is going to get killed by himself. I can't believe this" Sam yelled again.

  
Cas get frozen with that. He felt like he gonna lose his Dean again.  
"Dammit Dean, why'd you do that, shit... this all are my fault, I... I shouldn't do anything that I did last night, even I didn't confess Dean about my true feeling about him" Cas barely fight tears back. he knew he should find Dean immediately before it's getting too late.

 

  
"Sam tell me, what would we do now, how we find him, I can't lose him again, no no no I need to find him, I need him," Cas said like a crazy and he started to walk forth and back. Cas's blue eyes already filled with tears as he was so afraid and helpless.

  
*********

Dean used the highway because he wanted to reach there before the sunrise. He wanted to destroy whole the nest as quickly as possible. To forget his lose, forget his Love.  
As the information, first, he reached to a club, which seems like those vampire's favorite place.

  
After half an hour Dean succeeds and get all the vampires out with his holy water track. After rough and hard, very dangerous fight, Dean chopped 8 vamp heads without a mercy.

 

  
Then next he drove to the abandoned road and found the next station of vampires. But he didn't know that it is there Nest. Dean blindly walked into the nest.

  
He used a new trick and it succeeds. He used his huge knife after soak it with dead man's blood, so it made all vampire weaker and the Dean chopped their heads happily. Dean has successfully killed 14 vamps But when Dean find the last 6 vampires, they all are about to have their early breakfast. They had kidnapped a man, now looks like half dead.

  
"Well well well look what we all are up to, looks like having early breakfast, huh?" Dean's proud voice rise and all six vampires are jumped on him. He killed only one and the luck wasn't with him this time as he dropped his knife. 3 vampires repeatedly hit Dean and he fell to the floor like unconscious while all 5 vampires launched at him.

  
"Look at him, he came without fear and roared like a lion, but now he is just a wet dog, wet with all delicious blood, what a waste." Vampires launched again as one hit Dean's ribcage with his foot. Dean felt huge pain as he cried with that shot.

  
"Now if you excuse us we have to get our food, then we can have you as our dessert," Said the Same vampire and group walked to the kidnapped man. Dean gritted his teeth, as now he has to watch an innocent man get killed by the vampires, who should be dead right now by him. He felt again that usually feeling of hating himself.

  
He knew after that man the vamps going to kill him too. He didn't feel fear, but happy. But when he remembered Sam, his heart started to hurt, his little brother... No, he had faced lots of shits right now, gone through lots of problems, so he will survive without him. Dean thought and next thing came to his mind is Cas. He closed his eyes and bit his swollen and blood splits lips. He stopped thinking right there. he tried to stand but he failed because he felt a huge pain in his leg, but then he looked at vampires and he saw it.

  
He saw the pair of blue eyes looked at him, like pleading. Hell Dean just saw Cas, in this half-dead man. He also got blue eyes and he is about to get killed by that vamps. Dean gasped when he saw Cas, in that man's face.

No no, no he murmured and shook his head. He felt a very strong feeling and next second he found himself jumping on to the vampires with his knife. All surprised Vampires tried to fight back but too late, Dean's anger is more powerful than 5 hungry vampires as all their heads get chopped by Dean.

 

  
"Hey hey you okay? Did they give you their blood, hey talk to me" Dean grabbed the man and asked. He shook his head and said No. Then Dean signed.

  
"Look, you are going to be okay, I will take you to the hospital okay, stay with me," Dean shook the man and said. but before he stands up to his feet, the man shouted weakly pointing his hand behind the Dean.

  
"Look out" Dean only heard that as he jumped back but he was too late as he shouted with a huge pain and the man's face painted with blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your big kudos and comments are mostly welcome. <3 <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean came back and Cas was there for him, but will Dean accept him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey <3 sorry this chapter is short but I will make it up to you with next one. Thank you very very much for your kind words and all the comments and kudos. Love you all. And sorry for the grammar again. See you soon. Have a nice day.

Dean jumped on to the vampire who shoot him behind, and he twisted vampire's arm as the gun dropped to the floor and Vampire quickly fall back few steps backward grinning his long teeth at Dean and growling like getting ready for a fight any second. Dean suddenly glanced at his own arm which now bleeding from the gunshot which shot by that last vampire from his behind.  
Dean smirked at that vampire showing his bleeding hand.

"is that best you got? Oh, c'mon... you can do better than that" Dean teased the lonely and terrified vamp and getting closer to him.

"you know, I just counted your nest as 20 members but I guess you must be a newbie right? 21 member... But sorry baby vampire, wrong beginning, so time to go" Dean smirked again and show his bloody blade to the vampire.  
The vampire growled and jumped on Dean but Dean didn't waste this time and he raised his blade and chopped off the vampire's head with one shot.

Dean covered with vamp blood and suddenly he felt a little unbalance as he almost trapping his own feet and he remembered that he was wounded too.

 

 

He glanced at his arm again which was bleeding yet.  
"Fucking fantastic" He mumbled with anger.

Then remembered the man who was kidnapped by vampires. Dean quickly tore a piece of his shirt and tightly wrapped his arm with one hand and tie it with his mouth and other hand. Then he gathered the almost unconscious man to his hand and went to the Impala.  
Dean settled the man back seat of the Impala and checked that man and satisfied as he was not in losing blood. so before doing anything else, he decided to call Sam because he knew now Sam probably planning to kill him as he got pissed as hell.

*********

Cas was going back and forth in the bunker like a psycho, he was so pissed, worried, helpless and so much scared of the feeling of losing his Dean again. Sam was not a lot different than Cas. They both tried their ass off to find the location, where Dean was gone. But they didn't find out about it.

"Sam I can't wait anymore, No, I can't get any risk. I'm going to call Crowley and also Rowena, I don't care about consequences, I just need to find Dean" Cas said before pulled out his phone.

 

 

"Wait Cas, I wanted to do the same. But we can't involve them, as... " Sam couldn't end as Cas cut off him.

"Then do you got any better plan in your mind, Sam. We have wasted much time here and it's getting dangerous to Dean second by second which we wasting here, I can't Sam I can't, we need to find him, I don't care about anything else right now, even if it's getting my soul or my life I'm gonna grab the chance" Cas said firmly and started to dial Crowley.  
But suddenly Sam's phone started to ringing and both of them looked at the phone.  
"Holy fuck, it's Dean" Sam yelled and picked up the call.  
"Hey, Sammy" Dean's weak voice came out on the phone as Sam started to gritting his teeth and Cas closed his eyes with a sigh, a relief on his face.

"What the hell man" Sam shouted and he couldn't find words because of his anger.

 

"Hey look I'm sorry, I couldn't stop myself man, I... I will explain everything, by the way, I'm fine, thank you" Dean tried to laugh a little bit but stopped when he heard Sam's angry growl and when he felt his vision goes blur for a moment once again. He shook his head and licked his pale lips.

"yeah? I think it's not necessary, you know what Dean you are a such an asshole. and I don't care and don't want to hear about your excuses" Sam yelled back and disconnected the phone.

Dean didn't try to call again as he shoved the phone into his pocket and pulled the Impala to the road with a blank face. He knew he doesn't have any feeling anymore.

  
Dean tricked again and he succeeded as he smartly worked to bring that kidnapped, unconscious man to the hospital. After he confirmed that the man is safe in the hospital, he quickly jumped into the Impala.

But at that moment he felt that unconsciousness again and he knew he also needs quick medicine. The cloth piece around his wound was too badly soaked with blood.  
Dean hissed and bit his lip until he felt some iron tastes in his mouth, to stay conscious. He drove his baby silently as all the sad and painful memories wrapped around him.

 

***************

"Sam, why Dean took is much time. He still not answering my calls, can you please call him again" Cas pealed and Sam glared at him.

"look Cas, I'm not sure if he will answer my call, but also I'm not gonna call him, coz he just, just acting like a child, I mean Cas it's a freaking huge nest, he should have told me, but..." Sam stopped his complaining and both he and Cas jumped out with the sound of the bunker door swing open.

Dean never expected to see Cas right now, right here but when he opened the door, the first thing he saw is Cas. Dean got shocked and he staring at Cas like he saw the Lucifer.

Cas was also starting at Dean with heart eyes, as he wasn't fear anymore. After minutes or hours, Cas slowly smiled shyly at Dean. But Dean didn't smile back, his face just changed to questioning look, nothing else. The Blankness of Dean's face shuttered Cas's heart for a moment. and Cas was about to go to Dean, but then he heard Sam clearing his throat.

Dean suddenly glanced at his brother wishing that he will already calm down and slowly he climbed down to the war room. but Sam was there crossing his arms over the chest, and his face carried a huge angry look.

", Sam, I wanted to you to go with me. but when I came to your room you were in tight sleep, so I... I don't want to bother you, so..." but Dean cut off by Sam's pissed voice.

"really Dean? Is that how we have worked before, I mean if one person is sleeping then other one will go for the hunt alone, is that what you are saying? Huh? Wow" Sam wiped his chin with his hand. Huffing and ran his hand through his long hair.

 

"Sam please stop now" Cas pealed and Sam glared at him.

"No Cas, I'm not done with him yet," Sam said to him and turned to Dean again.

"Okay, you know what, then so be it. But remember, you are the one who brings this new trend and don't shout at me later, coz um gonna keep this ahead" Sam yelled at Dean.

Dean felt a huge pain in his arm but he tried to not show it to others. "No, you don't. look, Sammy..." Dean was gonna say more but suddenly he lost his balance and his vision goes blur again and felt he gonna faint. Quickly he grabbed the corner of the war table as Cas and Sam both jumped to catch him.

  
"Dean! Dean, are you hurt? What happened to you. Dean! " Cas cried out while wrapping his arms around Dean and pulling Dean's whole weight on him. Sam also grabbed him from the other side.

Dean shook his head, close and open his eyes few times then he pulled out his arm from Cas's grip. Cas's heart filled with pain. his fearful eyes got widen and he looked at Dean's face. Dean didn't look at him but, he tried to smile a little with Sam. 

"um Nah, it's nothing... It's just a scratch Sammy, I didn't see the newbie Vamp and he shot me from behind, but the bullet only scratched the skin" Dean said weakly with a weak smile like it's nothing to him.

Sam immediately started to remove Dean's jacket and Cas gasped when he saw the wound which was covered with bloody shirt piece. Cas's eyes got wider as he grabbed Dean's arm again.

"Dean, look what you have got because of your stupidity".  
Sam said quietly and he released Dean's arm.  
Cas couldn't look at Dean's painful face as he tried to make Dean sit on the nearest chair.

"Dean come, just sit here, I will stitch it, then we will clean you, okay? " Cas said hurriedly.

"Noo, um I mean, it's not necessary, Sam will do it," Dean said without looking at Cas because he knew it will be so hard to look at that baby blues again. So because of that, he missed the look of Cas's eyes which filled with pure Love only for Dean.

Cas's eyes narrowed to the floor as he felt that pain again in his heart . But he determined to be strong and to explain everything to Dean as soon as Dean get first-aid.

  
Sam huffed to Dean's words, "No I'm not gonna do that, you earned this and I'm not gonna help you with anything, do it yourself, I'm really Done with you Dean" Sam said and he stormed to his room.

  
Sam knew this is the best opportunity for these two idiots to confess and come out from there asses. and he promised to himself that he gonna shoot both of them if they didn't get this chance. He smirked on the way to his room. And didn't forget to pray to Chuck.

Dean also got pissed and he called out to Sam.  
"Oh yes I will do it my self bitch, I don't need your help either"  
Dean pulled out his arm again from Cas and rushed to his room without looking at him.  
Cas didn't know what to do as he also walked behind Dean. But as soon as Dean walked inside the room, he closed it before Cas come inside.

"Dean! No... please open the door, you are wound up so badly and it's so bad more than you think, please Dean open the door," Cas yelled and knocked the door but Dean didn't open it.  
Cas felt his eyes getting wet as he got afraid about Dean and because of it seems like Dean gonna reject him again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your big Kudos and comments are mostly welcome <3 <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we are edge of it. Lol <3 I really want to thank you for all your support, all the comments and kudos give me strength and motivation. And this is my most favorite thing to do. Writing, but sorry for all the grammar and mistakes.  
> BTW I got 74 Kudos when it was 14/15. Yeeey.  
> Now I changed into 15/17.
> 
> Soooo Thank you very much again for your support and have a nice day my friends. <3

Dean didn't sit but dropped on the bed. A few minutes ago he came to bunker with a wound on his arm but now he ended up with getting hurting wound of his heart as seen Cas again. He thought that he sealed his heart but he wasn't, he failed to do so.

Dean ran his other hand through his hair closing his eyes.  
What the hell is he doing here? He was with Oliver. and, and Cas doesn't love me, damn... even he doesn't like me anymore. Then why is he came back? Dean started thinking quietly. He heard Cas calling him and knock on the door but he didn't open the door.

 

  
Dean couldn't figure out why is Cas returned to the bunker. But whatever it is I can't stay here with him, no... I can't walk to him every freaking morning like complete strangers, like nothing happened between us, gush I Love him so fucking much. how could I resist this feeling when I can see him when I smell him everywhere. Fuck I can't do this. I need to get out of here.  
Although Dean was a little bit out of his mind because of the pain in his arm, he quickly grabbed his duffel bag, then hurriedly collected a few of his clothes and slipped all into the bag. Meanwhile, he noticed that Cas has completely stopped his shouting and knocking to his relief. Dean glanced at the door and sighed heavily. Then Dean looked at his injured arm, he decided that he must get a shower before stitching the wound.

He quickly grabbed his towel also another piece of cloth to cover the wound and rushed to the bathroom. Dean slowly untied the bloody cloth as he hissed at the pain he felt. after he wrapped a new piece of clothe around the angry crack of his arm then he stood on the shower.

 

 

 

The lukewarm water washed him slowly, giving him a little warmth but it's failed to remove his inner pain. He just stared at his and vampire's blood mix water pouring beside his feet. Quietly he let and just stay there until water washes him and until he got completely clean.

After he satisfied, and get rid of all the gross stuff of his body, he steps out of the shower and dries himself off quickly, then he heard again Cas calling him back.

This time his voice was a little calm. Dean glanced at his arm and he saw the new cloth also soaked with blood and water. He felt his mind is spinning but he didn't care about it and didn't wast time as quickly grabbed a new denim from his wardrobe and loose black t-shirt, pulling them on his head.

"Dean, you need to open this door or I'm going to open it another way. I'm going to shoot the lock or I'm going to break the door if you not open it just right now" Dean heard Castiel's impatient voice as he eventually rolled his eyes. But he knew that he has to open the door anyways and Castiel will never stop until he opens the door, so Dean stood up and walk to the door and open it halfway.

"What!" Dean groaned.

Dean's eyes met the Castiel's angry eyes as Castiel pushed the door other half, passing Dean and walked inside the room. That was the time Dean noticed the stuff Cas was carrying on his hands.

Castiel put all the first-aid items, washcloths, and that stuff what he brought on the table with a loud noise. Then he turned to Dean and crossed his hands across his chest staring at Dean's eyes. Dean didn't know what to do as he also staring at Castiel's eyes. After a few moments, Dean heard his own voice.

"What do you want Castiel?" that's the first thing came out from Dean. His voice was numb, not kind of angry, wonder or sarcasm. it's just plain as numb.  
Cas huffs at his question before answer it.

"What do I want? Huh.. What do I want? Really? Dammit, Dean... you got a fucking bullet and beat up like a shit, then you locked yourself in this room without getting any medicine and now you ask me what I want?"  
Cas said while stepping into Dean's personal space, he was in angry before but now his voice wasn't angry anymore. It's mostly like worrying and carrying.

 

"I all want is to you to get some medicine, okay? Now please stop being such a stubborn and sit here and let me clean your arm" Castiel said and put his both hands on Dean's shoulders to pull him down to the bed. But suddenly Dean pulled out from his touch stepping back.

 

"Castiel stop it! I said earlier that I can do it myself, so you don't need to worry about me, and what do you even doing here? You should be with your fiancé?" Dean said with a sarcasm voice. he never knew that he was this much angry with Castiel before, also he didn't mean to talk about that, the things what happened between them. But eventually, it's blurted out.

 

Suddenly Castiel's face lightened up little, but Dean didn't expect it. Castiel bit his lip and slowly looked down at his hands. He knew Dean must be totally screwed up because of the last night but he never expected this kind of jealous. Damn Dean is totally jealous of Oliver. It made Cas feel kind of tickle in his heart. Dean barely looked away because damn the way Cas bit his lips... Nah I can't... Dean thought and look away.

"I can't stop worrying about you Dean, and I don't want to either," Castiel said while looking at Dean's green angry eyes directly.

"and also I don't have any fiancé," said and Castiel bit his lips to stop the smile, "well, not yet. I guess".

 

 

 

Dean's heart shuttered at the thought of one day Oliver being Cas's fiancé. Dean closed his eyes for while and he wiped his face with his good hand.

"yeah. Whatever. I don't care... okay? , now if you don't mind can you please leave me alone because I have to..." Dean was going to say something but Cas cut off him.

 

"Oh shut up you assbutt, like I'm going to leave you here with your wound. Now you going to sit here like a good boy or I'm going to make you one." Dean's eyes widen at those words but before he says something Cas grabbed Dean's shoulders and push him down to the bed, and quickly grabbed all the first - aid kit and other stuff to the bed.  
Dean stared and tried to stand again but he heard Castiel's angry voice.

"Don't you dare"

as he slowly sat again on the bed without any clue what he must do.

"Castiel you don't need to..." Dean tried this time with a rough voice but Castiel cut off him, but without any pressure, only a calm voice, before he unties the bloody cloth from Dean's arm.

"by the way Dean, why you keep calling me Castiel?" Cas asked and Dean hisses when the bloody cloth removed completely from his arm.

Dean didn't answer it as he was finding a proper answer to it, because he also didn't know that why he kept telling it to him first place.

Castiel put away the blood-soaked cloth and got  
the washcloth he brought before and soaked it  
in warm water which he brought with him.  
then he slowly cleaned Dean's wound with feather touches. Dean gasped to the first touch and Castiel glanced at him with horror eyes.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry Dean, is that hurts?" he asked but Dean shook his head as "No"

"Soo? Tell me, Dean?" Cas asked after moment and Dean knew that what is he asking about.

Cas slowly clean the whole wound and he also used the disinfectant for it.  
Cas lift a bit Dean's injured arm and put it on his own thigh making Dean shivering with the touch. Suddenly Dean tries to pull it back, but Cas gave him a death glare and Dean surrounding like a puppy. then Castiel started stitching the wound slowly.

Dean sigh at last he gathered an answer.  
"Because I'm not your friend anymore and you don't need me anymore and, and of course you hate me so much, so probably you don't need me to nickname you" Dean replied without looking at Castiel's eyes. His voice was cracked and heavier.

Castiel felt his heart go on fire as he glanced at Dean with sad eyes this time.

 

"Dean... That's not true, I'm... I'm sorry, I don't hate you Dean" Cas replied and he wanted to say more but he took his time. He bit his bottom lip to hold the sob which suddenly appeared.

 

The only thing that Dean knew is the thing what is happening right now is too much to handle with. The rejected Love of my life is in front of me, stitching my arm. Practically my hand laying on his thigh and he is so fucking close to me like few fucking inches. We are breathing the same air. Fuck this is hurting this is torturing. Dean thought to himself.

 

"Dean I mean it, I don't hate you, no... Never. My apologies for what happened, I mean I... I... " Castiel's voice cracked and he was going to confess, but Dean took it as his cross line and he blasted.

"Stop it Castiel, don't! OK just don't! I fucking don't need your pity on me, I don't need that. and you don't need to apologize or be sorry. I'm the one who must be sorry. And my apologies for what happened last night. It shouldn't be happen. And it's a fucking mistake"

 

Castiel's eyes widen and his heart stopped it's beat for seconds as he heard that word.

"MISTAKE" did Dean said a mistake?

Castiel didn't know when he stops stitching and he was beyond the anger, is that happening again. Is Dean being a coward again? Castiel was shivering with the anger.

 

 

 

"What the fuck you talking about Dean, do you mean that all are a mistake? The things you told me last night? Are they all a mistake? That thing you told me... That, that you... Um... You" Cas was gonna ask it but that was the Dean's time to be shocked as his eyes got wider.

"Geez Cas NO!... I mean Castiel. No, No.Gush. That's not what I mean. The thing I have told you last night, it's not a mistake. Fuck! That's the purest, truly and most unbelievable feeling I got in my entire life. I never had a feeling for anyone for my entire life, and I'm sure I will never have again. Jesus.. That's not a mistake."

Dean blurt out with a shocking face and his face getting red slowly, he rubbed the back of his neck with his good hand. the whole time Cas stared at him. Slowly the anger of Cas's face is washed off and replaced with a relief. He didn't notice until that time he was holding his breath as he sighed heavily waiting for Dean to continue his story.

"I meant as a 'mistake' about, what I did to your date, I just ruined it and ruined Oliver's suite evenly. um, it sucks, I shouldn't have been there and do that drama, so I'm sorry. And also please just forget about my confess coz..." Dean chocked his words as the pain he got with that. He was bowing his head to entire time and he stopped talking because he chocked and voice cracked and his heart crushed with the pain. But he has to do this, he doesn't want Castiel's pity, No... definitely, he doesn't need that.

"Coz it's doesn't matter anymore, just forget it and, and um that's it" Dean stopped and turned his head to other side. He didn't want to show his weakness to Cas. Not now. So he wanted to hide his freaking tears from him.

 

Cas was staring at Dean, he needed to grabbed Dean and hug him tight, holding him to his chest. Needed to kiss him and wipe his all pains. Yeah, that's what he going to do now, just soon after few minutes because this is too much and the waiting time is over. Cas shivered at the thought and he smirked to himself and started to stitch up again. However, he was in the last part of the stiching.

"Okay... Ahem. But why do you say like that, I mean why should I forget about it Dean" Cas was in his own game right now. Because Dean is an idiot as he couldn't recognize it or recognize the full of Love in Castiel's eyes.

Dean turned his head within seconds as he got pissed this time. He huffed a devilish laugh.

"Huh, do you want to know that why? Because I saw your choice Castiel, I saw the way you chose your guy. I saw the way you hug him and the way he kisses you. I saw the way you relaxed on him. And why the fuck you doing this, if you want to do this fucking stitching thing then do it quickly and leave me alone and go to your man. Coz I don't want to be a cock blocker to anyone" Dean was shivering in anger and pain.  
Fuck Castiel is in front of me with all the fucking charming he got. He is so fucking perfect and cute and damn he is not mine. He does not belong to me, he is not my best friend anymore, so what the fuck I'm doing, shit. Dean's inner self-screaming and he was helpless.

Castiel calmly ended the stitching and started to bandage the arm carefully. His fingers were touching Dean's skin and Dean felt it like a feather touches. He never felt anything like before from Castiel but now.

"mmm okay, so after you saw me like that, I mean that 'forehead kiss', and 'friendly hug' that we shared, which must you mean before, you give up on me that much easier Mr. Dean Winchester?  
Castiel asked in a teasing tone. But Dean freaking Winchester didn't get the hint as he got angry again. But he calms down in seconds.

 

"Look Castiel I don't need to talk about it anymore. fuck this is too much, I know you hate me but Castiel please don't hate me this much. It's hurt.." Dean's voice filled with emotions, not anger.

Castiel only glanced at Dean and he ended the bandaging and smoothly checked for any gaps or loosen spots tugging slowly here and there.

Dean hissed at those feature touches.  
"I know I'm not an even a friend of yours anymore but because of the way we used to be before, I mean as an ex-best friend please forgive me for the all the things I do to you and as the last thing I want to tell you that... " Dean chocked again as he got his hand from Castiel's thigh.

this time he looked at Castiel without any hesitation, because he knew this will be his last chance to look at, Love of his life, this much closer. Because he thought Castiel did all this stitching and special care because of the pity, nothing else, and Dean thought Castiel must be feeling like guilty because Castiel didn't Love him back. So after this little session of payback, Castiel will gonna hate Dean as usual. That's the way Dean thought about the whole thing what happening now.

So he just stared at those brilliant shining baby blues without any fear. Castiel also stared back with huge relief in his face. But so lovingly.

"Um. I want to tell you that please be safe, be live, and, and please live Happily. Goodbye Castiel." said Dean and he barely stopped the urge of touching Castiel's face and kiss him. With that, he stood up and grabbed his duffel bag. Then he turned to the door without even looking at Castiel. But he couldn't be able to put another step as he felt Castiel's hand grabbed his good arm roughly.

"How dare you, Winchester!" Castiel yelled. His face was filled with anger.  
"So is this the end of everything? Is this how much I mean to you? You confess... and then that's it, all over. here you say goodbye and you are done, and run away from me. and what the fuck you think you doing? Huh, what is all this duffel bag for?" Castiel shouting with a pain.

Dean was in the same position as he started yelling back.

"What do I have left to do Castiel? Huh? I don't know what to do after everything happened" Dean ran his good hand through his head.

"Okay. So why you going to left the bunker, isn't that because of me? Because you don't want me to left the bunker but you gonna leave it. Right. You sacrifice your home for me. Just like you sacrifice your happiness for mine. Right, Dean. You confess to me but you refuse to get what you want because you never think about you, you just always sacrifice for others. You sacrifice your happiness leaving me to Oliver, isn't it? I know you very well Dean. Tell me if I'm wrong? Dean? " Cas was grabbing and holding Dean's shirt with both hands and plead.

 

" Cas I... " Dean started.

"No Dean I'm not wrong, you were going to do that, but why you give up that much easier Dean. Didn't you need more? why do you give up on me that much easier Dean?"

When Castiel came to the bunker he was gonna confess Dean as soon as he saw him, but now this gone too far because Castiel noticed that Dean gave up and Castiel couldn't believe that, so he wanted to know why? And he doesn't want to Dean to sacrifice his own love like that.

 

Dean grabbed both of Castiel's shoulders. "Give up on you? Huh? Do you wanna know the truth Castiel. I didn't. okay? I didn't give up on you. I have waited for you? Even after everything happened, I was waiting for you, did you hear me Castiel. I have been waiting for you but you never show up. You never came back. Is that what you want to know. Are you happy now to see me suffering again and again with that" Dean yelled without a breaking?

Castiel's eyes went high. Jaw dropped like he can't believe it.  
"What? Did you... Did you wait for me? But where? But, but how it's even possible? Where did you been?" Castiel's voice was full of surprise.

"I was here Castiel... in the bunker, I was in the war room. I just waited for you, part of me told that you will come back to me so I waited for you until the morning, but you never show up" Dean replied.

Castiel got shocked as he couldn't believe that what happened as he stared at Dean.

 

 

"Dammit, but Dean... me too. I mean I was waiting for you. After Oliver dragged me I just realized what happened and then I came back to the hotel and looked for you, but one of the waiter told me that you were already gone. So I came here. But you weren't here, so I also talk with Sam, then I was waiting for you Dean, in your Room, but unfortunately, I have fallen asleep on your bed and I couldn't call you because my phone was switched off without battery" Cas said with a begging tone.

  
That was Dean's turned to get shocked and his eyes got wide. Now both of them were with tears, but no one tried to hide it or wipe it as tears falling down on their cheeks.

 

"after you went with Oliver I also dragged by this random chick but that's the last thing I wanted and I shoved her then she insulted me and gone. I was in the bathroom, I think I had been there for a while and then I came to the bunker, wait... Oh No that's what Sam going to tell me about. It's about you. But I threatened to him that I will punch him if he keeps talking about you, so he didn't told me anymore about you. And, and I didn't come to my room because I didn't want to sleep, only wanted to wait for you" Dean's voice was low and cracked.

Castiel stayed staring at Dean's green emeralds and Dean mirrored it staring at those baby blues. after seems like a century, finally Castiel smiled through his tears, and eagerly he wiped his tears away. Dean has waited for me. He, he didn't want to sacrifice his love and didn't want to give me to anyone else. At least he has tried. Castiel's heart filled with a warm feeling. He felt happy.  
Castiel slowly put a step into Dean's Personal Space.  
"Dean... So why did you waiting for me by the way" Castiel can't believe he is doing it. Today he needs all the answers from Dean. Well, actually he wanted to make sure about everything.

Dean looked everywhere but Castiel. He still can't figure out what is happening, because he never trusted his destiny and he was tired with all the Chuck's plans.

  
"I don't know Castiel, I haven't any faith but I waited" Dean gathered his last strength and said.  
Castiel smirked and put another step towards Dean.

"What Dean, don't you need to get my answer?" Castiel asked in a teasing tone. But that was Dean's call as he huffed at that.

 

 

"I already got my answer Castiel, I don't know why I'm still doing this here. I saw the way you left me and go to Oliver. so that's it, I already got the answer, there is nothing left to know" said and Dean turned his back to Castiel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, want to ask from you, if you think my fic is good enough, or if you want to tell me anything about my fic then please let me know and I Love your Big Kudos. See you soon. <3


	16. Chapter 16

I am so sorry for the late updates my all friends. I'm gonna update this soon.  
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3


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